to think attitudes to disabilities in a themepark should be better...

[LunarRose]

We have exit passes for DS with ASD.

AIBU that "I'm going to kick their head in" cos they're "queue jumping", was neither clever nor original (especially after the third time my DP heard it during the day)

AIBU that pushing DS out the way (in the chest with some force) because he failed to respond instantly to your demand he "get out of your way" (whist waiting at the disabled exit) was just plain unpleasant (I was bending down to move him at the time)

So many more similar incidents through the day.

I normal circumstances I wouldn't want to wish my son's disability on anyone, nor the days over backache that a themepark trip entitled before we knew about exit passes (from carrying DS through Queuelines kicking and screaming) however....

We shall retreat to Chessington where we have always found people lovely!!!

I take my severely autistic child to restaurants. Along with my not so severe but still quite autistic other two children.

I'm buggered if I'm going to let small minded idiots try to isolate my family further.

It's hardly a place you'd expect to be crawling with severely autistic kids thought, that was my point. If you were going to develop a phobia about coming across a severely autistic child as this ex ed psych has you might as well develop it over somewhere they're likely to be!

I don't take ds1 to restaurants because I can't be arsed to spend an hour and half dragging him out the kitchen or trying to stop him helping himself to other people's food, it's no fun for any of us! It's not other people stopping us, just rather go somewhere that's a bit more relaxing (we tend to go to the outdoor cafe at the beach, where the staff are very used to -and tolerant about- ds1 appearing in the kitchen).

JimJams we are currently battling to have ds2 assessed for ADHD (Head is convinced he ahs it, I veer either way at times) becuase we have an Ed Psych who does not believe in ADHD.

Personally I think clinical psychs like the TES one and Ed Psychs like ours (who scarily also fronts our EarlyBird now) should be forced to retire unless they defer to acceptance, in public at elast, of the DSM criteria as selected by teh PCT as a diagnostic tool.

If you have a phobia of kids with autism then you need help- from a clinical psychologist. It's not rational.

We find there are far more nive than horrid people but they show their colours in subtle ways: the local Nan who takes ds2 out with her son every Sunday to the park and for a walk, something I can't manage atm with my lot (DH is away of a Sunday, a sort of hobby / work hybrid). The TA we had last year who sent ds1 a Good Luck card for his first day at ASD Base today. They don't shout as loud but they are wonderful.

in a some way I think YABU

if your child has SN why take them into a stressful envronment like a theme park? I dont even take my kids to them for this very reason

I get its hard, but there are some ignortant people who will always assume the worst if they see someone semmingly able bodied push in, and its not fair knowing this might happen to put him in this situation

thmese parks are a rip off and stressful, and I dont think its a "right" that kids go to them, there are other things you could have done instead that he would have enjoyed and likely you too

Oh I know sjj.... I am incredibly fortunate that I just bury him in his DSi or put angry birds on my phone and he sits transfixed.... I am aware others don't have that luxury

They do make noises though, and hand flap, and some don't like it. Tough.

porcamiseria - yes some elements are stressful but they get so much pleasure out of the sensory feedback from the rides that negates it somewhat for us, probably not others... so why deny them the experience?

Why should we bow to others' ignorance and intolerance? The can go eff themselves frankly.

I trained as a teacher - gave it up last year, 2 weeks before the end of a 4 year course because I realised I couldn't do it and care for the DCs ( not really that relevant why I stopped, just background).

It's actually heartbreaking how ignorant a lot of teachers are, I don't mean prejudiced, but genuinely ignorant about SNs.

The only lecture we had on specific conditions was on ADHD and it was very much implied that it wasn't a real condition - that's the attitude that teachers without personal experience are actually being taught!

Oh yes agree - actually more people are nice than nasty. DS1 has developed a car obsession this summer - he's a bit of a pain in the beach car park, runs up and sticks his head in boots, tries to sniff petrol caps, if someone's window is open he will throw his arm in and try to fiddle with their sun visors or lights, peers in windows with his face pressed against the glass etc etc.

Now obviously a 12 year old suddenly appearing and doing this and not responding if spoken to is a bit disconcerting (and I don't let him as such, just can't always be on top of him, or he breaks away from me and manages it anyway) but watching people's reactions has given me some amusement. There are three reactions 1) anger (rarest) 2) utter confusion and 3) people who spot it and find it amusing. Usually those in category 2) move into 3) if you run up and say 'I'm so sorry' and drag him out.

Most people are nice about it - and all the people who work at the beach (surfers, lifeguards, people in the cafe) who have got to know ds1 are lovely and patient and helpful. Having a little place where he's known makes a big difference - don't have to be quite so on top of him or stressed out. And now we have somewhere where I know that the majority are going to be nice and where he's known I don't really notice the stroppy ones there anyway.

So nah we don't bother with theme parks :) We just do things that work these days.....

tabulahrasa that reflects the experiences of a friend of mine's sister who is now a NQT.... during her training she said she got much the same, ADHD being 'made up'. She actually took the time to come visit us, spend some time with the kids and ask questions about autism, which I believe will make her a better teacher for it. I did explain that the spectrum is huge and what is true for my children may not be for others but she found it a useful experience nonetheless. I also got a bit of help with the kids too which was a bonus!

No it would help if ds1 had something he could do other than run around like crazy outside but there really isn't anything. He can't even watch DVD's really. He likes google maps at home, but it's too slow for him on mobile devices and I don't think it would be rewarding enough for him to pay any attention to when out and about really - he just wants to run into places he's not meant to be . If I thought he'd get anything out of a theme park I'd go (or the cinema) but I don't think he's quite ready yet - it's not so much the queuing - the bit that would be hard for him would be the sitting in the ride waiting for it to start.....

glitter

I am just in the "avoid stress" camp, and to me taking a SN child to a theme park in the summer hols is just a fucking nightmare! Its just not fair on them IYSWIM

go, but go when it's quieter, less queues etc

thats what I think

porca plenty of reasons:

Becuase rarely does an entire family have SN: should NT siblings lose out just becuase one sibling has SN? Not everyone has babysitters.

Because mainly though when done right it can be an exceptionally enjoyable day for a child, especially if they are sensory seeking as the spinning etc is bang on their idea of heaven.

I could of course take them elsewhere (and I usually do) but ds1 and DH- and indeed I- love themeparks, blimey I was raised in a town famous in part for it's fair and riding all teh big rides before I was 10; there are none lcoally so a visit emans a trip away and we do that as a family.

I wonder what we should do instead? Park? nope, doesn;t work, no fences in ours and a pond in teh next one along; plus they pick up hidden crap that teh teens leave in the grass. There are hurdles everywhere- had to elave SS Great Britian last week as we didn;t know they had a 'smell o vision' thing going on and it close on made me throw up let alone the boys- tehre's no SN soft play or aprk locally and never will be, can;t swim as three need 1-1......

We have to go somewhere and quite foten a well managed theme aprk is the best option. So far we have got by without an exit pass but with ds4 I don't think that will be the case unless something changes massively for him. I'm not going to change the treat-going fun of the entire family becuase ds4 needs a little extra help to enjoy it.

How can we go when less queues?

No easier for us to get a day off school than anyone else.

Weekends like for everyone else packed with SN Sports and DH takes one out on a Sunday for some 1-1.

do what you want, life with a SN child wll always have its challenges. I just think environments are stressful, and thats the way it goes.

I get thats its hard and wherever you go with you will have shitty ignorant people sadly

Its just for me themepark sounds lke HELL!!!!!

I can't believe you are all still here? Should you not be caring for your SN/LD child? Making sure that they can't escape the house for fear of upsetting the ignorant?

Dear Lord what is the world coming to.

I shall be taking Nemo with me today, to the supermarket and I will be parking in a disabled bay, or if there are none, a P&C bay. I shall slap my Blue Badge loud and proud down onto the dashboard, struggle to lift my son into a trolley and they struggle to steer him around the store.

But I swear, that is the only time I shall dare to take him outdoors today.

Once home of course he will have to be attached to his feeding pump for another hour. Then no doubt cleaned up because of his bowel issues. Oh and then I may even let him watch some CBeebies, God forbid!

Ah you see Proca I do like thrill rides, bit of a who dares wins thing going on with DH and I

Ecuse me Mouseface but DS1 is in school today . As is ds2, though willa dmit that ds3 and ds4 are watching Scooby Doo (latest obsession).

I am going to go make goji berry muffins soon though. And ds34 starts (and in my estimation ends) independent gym tomorrow.

Have you never heard of internet shopping woman?

LOL Riv

Thing is with one I would if school okayed it

But from next year okaying it with 4 separate schools? Local primary, primary SN Base, comp Sn Base, and the local comp-

That really is my idea of stress!

i am sure children with sn want to experience things their friends do as all children do, shouldn't we be doing everything we can to help them lead the life their friends do with a little tweaking and understanding from others at times they can

Peachy - yes, but there are only so many 'substitutions' or missing items if you choose to refuse the subs............ I just end up going out anyway.

Porcamiseria, i have never taken ds to a theme park, he is 7 years old, he loves rides, but i know he wont be able to wait for long periods of time, hence why we have never been. He also has 2 'normal' older brothers who have also not been to a theme park in 7 years. The exit passes would make the difference between being able to go and not being to go.

I too like to avoid stress, doesnt everyone! but ds finds getting dressed, having a bath, washing his hair, brushing his teeth, going out, going to school, eating etc, extremely stressful, so avoiding stress is impossible, otherwise we would do nothing.

Ds doesnt get much pleasure from life, so although i know he would find certain aspects of a theme park stressful, he would also get some real pleasure and enjoyment from going on the rides and the experience.

Mouseface, my excuse is ds is still sleeping, after being awake half the night, yes i know its almost 11 and this will not get him into a routine (just in case some smart arse wishes to point this out!) but fuck it, i need coffee and a break

My SiL works as a personal care assistant for a severely autistic, non-verbal young adult in Sweden. The young woman is supported to live in her own home by 24 hour carers. By own home, I mean a flat all of her own. She and her carers can use public transport for free, but because that's difficult for her, she is also entitled to free taxis within city limits. She also has a free pass to the city theme park, which she visits frequently, because the exciting rides are some of the few things she observably enjoys.

This is how good it can be. This is how good it could be in this country.