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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to send my 2 year old ds to playgroup?

120 replies

LittleBugsMum · 30/08/2011 21:19

It's 6 hours a week (3 hours on 2 days) and I can't stand the thought. I think he's too young & I'm going to miss him & lots of other reasons.

I know it's my decision & I don't have to send him but I feel guilty. He might really enjoy it, need it for his social development, make friends...

What do you think?

OP posts:
FlamingoBingo · 31/08/2011 17:57

Are you a troll, WidowWadman? I find it hard to believe that people still have views like that nowadays!

Early separation from parents is unnecessary and, in some cases, harmful. This has been shown time and time again in both psychological science, and biological science. If it's fun, and the child is right for it, then there is nothing wrong with it, but there is also nothing wrong with keeping your child at home either.

Iggly · 31/08/2011 17:59

Hmm Widow. A mother's instinct is a powerful thing and not to be ignored.

WidowWadman · 31/08/2011 18:29

Iggly A mother's ego is a powerful thing, too.

FlamingoBingo · 31/08/2011 18:35

Widow - do you know anything at all about child psychology? Attachment theory? How babies and children's brains develop? Because it doesn't sound like you do.

coccyx · 31/08/2011 18:37

But she is not sending him because SHE doesn't want to. haven't even tried it. Get a grip. Scared he will like being away from dear Mummy probably

Iggly · 31/08/2011 18:39

I'm not sure what to make of that Widow?! you think mums keep their kids with them for egotistical reasons?!

WhiffOfBath · 31/08/2011 18:40

WidowWadman, you are surely not serious? Or are you trying to start an argument? Or trying to make the OP feel reeeeeeaaaallly guilty? Nice one. Hmm

As before, FlamingoB talks a lot of sense.

LittleBugsMum, you will be able to spend lots of time with your DS2 when DS1 starts school properly. Smile

As for knowing when they're ready ... you do just know when it happens. It's all very gradual, and if it's child-led (rather than done to fit in with the parents' work or desire for free time), it is largely painless. Some children are ready earlier than others: my first one wasn't ready until nearer four; my second was ready when she was just three.

WhiffOfBath · 31/08/2011 18:41

Wow - there are some really nasty posters out there (coccyx) Sad. I can only hope they are not for real.

begonyabampot · 31/08/2011 19:21

why do you consider sending him at this age anyway if you don't have to and don't particularly want to - I don't really understand as I wasn't aware that it was expected at this age. As i was a SAHM i just waited till they were 3 and sent them to the state paid for sessions. Up to that I enjoyed baby/toddler groups and meeting up with friends and their children. When I was little no-one where I lived had any paid for child care or nurseries etc - we turned 4 or 5 and just went to school.

begonyabampot · 31/08/2011 19:23

I wonder how much of this earlier and earlier push for paid childcare and nurseries at an early age is all down to money and profit for the business providing the service. Different of course for those who need childcare and it's not a choice.

RitaMorgan · 31/08/2011 19:59

Why not send them at 1 then coccyx, or 6 months? In fact why insist on keeping babies and small children with their mothers at all if it is so unnecessary - they could all be raised in communal childcare from birth.

WidowWadman · 31/08/2011 20:10

What would be so wrong with that Rita?

RitaMorgan · 31/08/2011 20:17

Nothing, I think it's a great idea. We could attach bottles to wire frames for them like Harlow's monkeys.

WidowWadman · 31/08/2011 20:20

Ah, there's the reductio ad absurdum again which makes these discussions so tedious.

BsshBossh · 31/08/2011 20:20

You don't have to send him but IME my own DD really benefited from nursery as at 2 she was beginning to form really strong friendships with her peers who she saw (still sees) regularly each week. Lovely to observe.

RitaMorgan · 31/08/2011 20:27

Sorry WW, didn't realise you were genuinely arguing in favour of communal childcare instead of mother care from birth.

CurrySpice · 31/08/2011 20:31

Oh OP I didn't mean to make you feel more guilty :( I was trying to see positives in it for all 3 of you!

ThePosieParker · 31/08/2011 20:34

RM...hated Harlow monkey thing, gave me nightmares!

RitaMorgan · 31/08/2011 20:36

He did some other pretty awful things to monkeys too. Don't read the "Pit of Despair" bit.

aquashiv · 31/08/2011 20:42

Dont send him if you feel like that.

I sent our twin boys at two and a half for just two mornings.

They didnt like it at first but soon made loads of friends. I could then use the 'oh I dont know where they picked that up must be nursery' line when they shamed me in public.Grin.

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