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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have laughed when my fil told my dh

563 replies

biddysmama · 28/08/2011 22:33

that he should stop me from breastfeeding now as dd is too old? (shes 2,ds is 1 and im pg)

do people do what their husbands tell them to? ive got a mind of my own thanks very much Grin

OP posts:
zukiecat · 29/08/2011 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feminine · 29/08/2011 16:59

But zukie nobody is saying that formula is no good...its fantastic it is available to those that choose/need to use it.

some of us are hurt at being told we are freaks if we choose to practice natural term breast feeding!

NorfolkBroad · 29/08/2011 16:59

Serious question....is it true that BF kids are never ill or almost never ill?

NorfolkBroad · 29/08/2011 17:01

Feminine, it's horrible that you are made to feel like that.

Feminine · 29/08/2011 17:03

norfolk they are ill less,when they do get sick it is less severe.

Nothing will sway me on that.

Of course you have opened a can of worms :) lots will now say how they either have or know a child that was B/fed and constantly comes down with the black death... KWIM?

As I said earlier ,I am all about choice -always, at all costs!

NorfolkBroad · 29/08/2011 17:06

Me too! Every time my dd was ill when she was younger I felt terrible guilt at not having been able to BF her for longer. However, she now doesn't seem to be any more ill than her friends but of course i don't know if they were all BF or not!

redsun · 29/08/2011 17:06

Ok Dawneybabe Wow - thanks for your insight and clear understanding of women who have babies or toddlers who don't sleep through the night - I bet your rod and back comments have gone down well ? Just as helpful as telling people to calm the FUCK down? Hmm

Do you think you need to take a chill pill? I'm not aware of the breastfeeding for life gang - but then maybe I have also missed that group that see drinking from a cup or using a spoon as one of those vital steps to growing up? Grin

Feminine · 29/08/2011 17:08

I remember my poor sister trying to B/FEED her first daughter ...it was not for her for many reasons...:)

Unfortunately, she lives in Norway ,formula is not so easy to get hold of ...well it wasn't when she had her first.

And yes, from those that like to point fingers and mock; I have been made to feel bad and weird.

I am fine though lol :)

Feminine · 29/08/2011 17:11

norfolk ,never feel bad about your situation... ever again:)

Formula is a wonderful thing ...your daughter won't suffer at all for having been fed it!

PamSco · 29/08/2011 17:11

Queen redsun sheep - I think you've now got it.

My point, tirelessly explains again, is that sexualisation is not the ONLY reason people find ebf strange. And you are now all using language that leaves room for other factors. I am not denying it is a factor - it's just not the only one which was a statement previously made.

FRIGG

"if you uncomfortable with breastfeeding due to cultural 'brainwashing' then why are you peddling your unfounded ideas all across the internet??"

I'm not uncomfortable with bf - I'll be doing it if nature allows. I was being honest saying seeing older children bf makes me uncomfortable. Doesn't mean I think it is wrong. I have to overcome generations of social condition from my nana and my mum who thought the same. That's what I call brainwashing.

As for the blatant insult - duck's water a back off.

NotQuiteSoDesperate · 29/08/2011 17:16

I feel sad that 18 years after I stopped BF (DS1 at 13 months and DS2 at 12 months) these arguments are still going on - in fact, I fear that things are even worse than they were back then.

How have we got to the point where many women feel they have to fight or apologise for feeding their children the natural way?

How have we enabled the formula companies to make society think that milk from another animal, crammed full of additives and chemicals to make it more like human milk is the "normal" way to feed babies?

Why are people weirded out by toddlers getting nourishment and comfort from nursing? And if they are, why do they feel they have the right to make nursing mothers uncomfortable with these views?

None of us would be here if our ancestors had behaved in this way!

We all have the right to choose what is best for us and our children and if you want to FF and not BF, that is your prerogative and no-one should interfere in that. But to say that breastfeeding toddlers is bad or sick is reprehensible.

I wish MN had been around when I was feeding our DSs - then maybe I would have fed them as they got older too. I loved BF and felt pressured to stop after 9 months as that was when my MiL stopped. Neither of them were ready to stop at a year, but I did anyway. But it was a long time ago!

SouthernFriedTofu · 29/08/2011 17:18

BimboNo5 Mon 29-Aug-11 13:31:48

Nothing but im not sure why it always seems to have to involve putting a breast in a mouth? Or a bottle with coke in it? Or giving kids a bag of crisps? Whats wrong with a cuddle?

Wow. and btw, a dummy is used for comfort because the baby doesn't have access to a real nipple or it wouldn't need to use the dummy. Their instinct is to crave comfort they are babies your POV seems actually cruel and ignorant unlike most of the other anti bf on this thread who are just being ignorant

FabbyChic · 29/08/2011 17:19

Wonders if the OP is aware that by breastfeeding another child she is taking nutrients from the unborn child?

redsun · 29/08/2011 17:20

Norfolk a major issue is whether there is clean water and whether there is enough formula.

I think we need to be clear that there are many areas on this Earth where formula feeding is particularly risky. Unless you want to live with your head in the sand and just be glad that you live in a country with clean water where the risks are so much lower.

A major outbreak of diarrhoea that caused a spike in mortality Sad Sad Sad, particularly among formula-fed infants, in Botswana (one of the wealthiest sub-Saharan African countries) illustrates the complexities of formula, especially when there are real dangers of contaminated water supply.

Dawnybabe · 29/08/2011 17:20

Do you think you need to take a chill pill? Umm, pot and kettle?

redsun It's just that I don't know any adults who still need to breastfeed.

And norfolk it made no difference to me at all. My dd2, who was bf for far longer than dd1, has always had a cold, and had chicken pox far worse than dd1, who I swear never had a cold until she was 13 months old. In my personal experience it is the bf baby who is the more prone to illness.

rainbowinthesky · 29/08/2011 17:24

fabbychic - have you got any evidence for that? I dont know anything about bf and pregnancy but a quick google doesnt seem to support what you said as long as the mother is having a reasonable diet.

redsun · 29/08/2011 17:24

Fabby I am not aware of any evidence to suggest that nursing while pregnant endangers the fetus during a normal pregnancy.

That is an alarming statement to make towards a pregnant poster.

Do share the research - I'm sure you will want to support the OP with real evidence if you truly serious? Hmm Hmm

Feminine · 29/08/2011 17:26

dawny if you don't know any adults who still breast feed ,surely that should set your mind at ease?

Fabby what do you base that pearl of wisdom on?

Feminine · 29/08/2011 17:28

There are many posters on here ,despite looking like they live in 2011 ; must have stepped out of a time machine from the 50's!

It is the only explanationGrin

browneyesblue · 29/08/2011 17:29

FFS! Yet another pearl of shit wisdom from Fabby Hmm

Always ready with an ill-informed bit of scaremongering.

redsun · 29/08/2011 17:32

Dawnybabe not sure why you are sharing with me that you don't know any adults who bf? Hmm But hey at least you didn't feel the need to swear this time?

Norfolk here is some information - very very sad reading though.

Botswana case study: Why free infant formula is not enough?

In 1997, the Botswana government provided free infant formula for new mothers. Following the implementation, researchers soon found that government clinics often ran out of cans of formula, forcing parents and grandparents to buy cow?s milk and feed their children with diluted porridge or even flour and water.

In 2006, heavy rains caused public water supplies to become contaminated;

26 villages in northeastern Botswana had contaminated water pipes. The contamination led to more than 35,000 cases of diarrhea in three months.

At least 532 children?20 times the usual number of deaths from diarrhea?died during the outbreak. All of these infants had been formula fed.

Researchers found that infants who were not breast-fed were getting sick primarily from contaminated water. Among a group of infants at one hospital, those admitted for diarrhea were 50 times more likely to be taking formula or cow?s milk compared with those admitted for other illnesses. In addition, the researchers found that in one village, 30 percent of infants receiving formula had died; there were no deaths reported for the breastfed children in the same village.

Pang · 29/08/2011 17:45

You have to do what is right for you. My mother tried to get me to stop breastfeeding 1st DC at 5 months because it wasn't the done thing in her area. Most of the young & not so young mothers she knew bottle fed their babies. But most of the mums in her area also went back to work after 3 months and I didn't do that either. I did my own thing and breastfed my DC1 until shewas ready to stop. DC1 stopped at 1yr and DC2 stopped at 18 months ( he was given the push because I was ready to have my body back).

IMO going beyond 2yrs could possibly cause problems socially because it is considered unaccepted to have a walking, talking person walk up to a person (mum)and demand breast. I have seen it happen at playgroups/toddler groups and unfortunately these mum soon become isolated. (Just an observation)

Question for OP - Do you find it physically exhausting to breastfeed 2 children while pregnant?

redsun · 29/08/2011 17:53

Pang that is a really sad observation about isolation - I would have thought it was not common but after reading the comments on this thread I could see how some comments here could extend into real life. You never hear of someone complaining if a toddler asks for a cup of cow's milk do you?

I do wonder where Fabby got her ill-informed opinion from - was it from other mothers ? I suppose at least in this style of forum you can at least call posters on their nasty or ill-informed posts. Maybe just maybe they will think twice.

Pamsco ok I think I get your train of thought now Smile

Snowinsummer · 29/08/2011 18:09

Your fil was probably just trying to help. It is commonsense that if you have 3 children in quick succession your body takes quite a battering. It is for this reason it would be prudent to stop now. In nutritional therapy birth order (plus sibling spacing) can play a big part in your future health in later years. Your body will be directing some of its resources to the breastfeeding when, ideally, it should be going directly to your unborn child who needs it the most, followed by you. This is especially revelant if your diet is not 100% tiptop all of the time supplemented by vitamins & minerals. Perhaps you should do some research yourself on this in order to make an informed decision?

BimboNo5 · 29/08/2011 18:16

mind you I wouldn't expect to get any post from someone who chose a posting name with Bimbo in it.

Wow- is that all you've got, seriously?