to have laughed when my fil told my dh

[biddysmama]

that he should stop me from breastfeeding now as dd is too old? (shes 2,ds is 1 and im pg)

do people do what their husbands tell them to? ive got a mind of my own thanks very much

I love this idea that people that BF are weardy beardy commune types, I BF and certainly no beard, I have a hollywood FFS - Make of that what you will!

Just goes to show I suppose how prejudiced some people are. I also wonder if it is a regional thing? When I had my first DC whilst living in a rather trendy enclave of London it is what all the "yummy mummy's" did and there was a definitely a whiff of FF being, a bit common but then I suppose the horror of your formula leaking in your jimmy choo bag was just too much for some to bear

When I moved out to the suburbs it wasn't quite such an issue.

And bimbo I haveyet to meet anyone pro BF who refers to "bitty"

Queen - that's where I'm going wrong then, I'm normal but I have a few chinny hairs occasionally.

Ok did miss it then. Cool. Well offer is still there Kungfu if it is a reasoned, balanced debate on why some people think it is odd/weird.

I don't think I'll stop thinking it (ebf toddlers) is odd until I experience the joy of nurturing my boy, not long now. As Rainbow said until you experience the relationship you can't get it but education and encouragement will fail if the counter argument is less than sensitive to the undermining of breast feeding in general.

Arguments on here that have said this is an ignorant stand point do nothing but fan flames that don't need to burn.

pamsco you dont exclusively bfeed a toddler, if that is what you mean by ebf toddlers? they do EAT food as well, just have the breast milk as an extra! tho my ds2 was pretty much ebf until 18mths+ as he wasnt interested in solids, i still got preg with ds3 and continued to feed ds2, ds3 was born weighing 9lb 5oz so not deprived in any way, then tandem fed until ds2 was almost 4yrs old and ds3 continued to gain weight at a remarkable weight and thrive and feeding the two of them mean i could get them both to sleep at the same time for a daytime nap and have a rest myself, win win in my book.

i bfed ds3 whilst preg with ds4, he was born weighing 10lb 13oz!! so again not deprived and i then tandem fed those two.

there have been some totally unsupported 'facts' made on this thread which are wrong and are being challenged, rightfully so!

as for stopping bfeeding when they can walk, well ds2 walked at 8mths and ds3 walked at 9mth, both could hold a spoon by then as well, didnt mean they didnt need to bfeed.

my boys never pulled at my top etc either, they asked for 'milka'.

interestingly whilst preg with ds3 i had an app at the hospital, once overdue, i took ds2 with me, when the consultant left the room for a moment he asked to feed, so i fed him, the consultant came back in whilst he was still nursing and proceeded to RAVE about how fabulous it was that i was still feeding him! saying it was good for him and it would be good when the baby was born so he didnt feel pushed out and that he would be able to ease any engorgement i had etc. she was right :) it was never something i planned on doing (my ds1 self weaned at 18mths) but it is the way things worked out and it was lovely :)

and whoever said it was creepy if a child can remember bfeeding well ds2 does and he remembers it fondly, he is 9 now and still talks about it occasionaly. i hope it means that when he is older he will support any future partner if she wants to bfeed (if he isnt gay of course )

well done op, look after yourself and i hope you have a healthy pregnancy and birth xx

When it is your own, you aren't feeding a child, you are feeding your baby. It is a different perspective entirely.

4madboys Yeh I got that - I was assuming supplement feeding not exclusive.

i thought you probably did but you put (ebf toddlers) in your post and ebf means exclusively bfeed, or it does in mn anyway :)

Oops lol - I thought it stood for "extended" breast feeding. My bad.

Well, to wade into this well trodden path of bf/ff debate, I used to think it was weird to bf a child past a few months/with teeth/that could speak/that didn't need it because it was eating food. Then I had DD and I am now feeding her at 2.8 and am 32 weeks pg. It seems we just got here one day at a time and actually, her need for it now is just a great as it was when she was little but its just different.

At the moment she has molars coming through and so feeds for pain relief at night. I would prefer if she didn't, I enjoy sleeping, but then I am also glad that I don't have to get up, go to the bathroom, get the calpol and then get her back to sleep. It has it's pros and cons but overall, it is so easy for me to give her what she still needs.

I can also understand the other side of this, if you didn't bf or haven't bf a toddler then it does seem weird. That's the culture we live in.

And on the whole FF is as good as bf, well it costs about £100 a litre for donated breastmilk and I doubt hospitals/milk banks (wherever those costs are picked up) would be forking that out if formula was as good.

I don't understand why a woman would judge another woman's feeding choice - even if that was bf past babyhood or ff from birth. I'd support a woman's right to choose over judging her choice IYSWIM.

How do people fit EBF in if they are working? I found mixing BF and working impossible.

whatmetoworry I bf to 15 months, worked full time from 4 months, away from DD for 12 hours a day 5 days a week. I expressed a lot, several times across 24 hours, until about 9 months, then only expressed during the day at work/mornings, until 12 months, when I just bf whenever I was with my DD. As the food intake goes up, the requirement for milk goes down, so you don't have to feed a toddler the same as you would a 6 week old.

Bfing and working does require a lot of support from family and employer, but it's not impossible.

I think ebf can mean extended or exclusive rather confusingly!

As for bf and work - with younger babies you either express, mix feed with formula or just feed around work, depending on hours/childcare/if on solids. With a toddler it's not really an issue.

I returned to work when DD was 11 months old and she just caught up when I came home but ate food and drank water during the day. She was fine. Now she is 2.8 and I work full time at the moment and she really just has a feed before bed, when she wakes up, occassionally at night if she's teething or had a nightmare and in the day if she's tired or hurt herself.

I think you eventually find your pattern when you return to work but I agree, it can be pretty hard/stressful at first. I would come home really engorged and uncomfortable for the first few weeks.

My childminder would always comment that DD never asked for milk when I wasn't around. My family think it is strange too but then, I suppose she associates milk with the whole breastfeeding thing rather than what comes out.

Whatmeworry asked "How do people fit EBF in if they are working? I found mixing BF and working impossible."

I have been very lucky that both my sons have attended my on-site nursery so I've been able to go over and feed them myself at lunch time.

With DS1 I also expressed during the day.

With DS2 I didn't return to work until he was 9 months old. I still went to feed him at lunch time but of course he was on solids then as well.

I BF DS1 until he was 3.5 and DS2 is still going at 2.5.

With both I found that I dropped day feeding probably earlier than I would have if I was SAH, but they made up for it when they were with me. With DS1 (because he was younger when I went back to work) I would have nursing weekend, where basically I would offer the breast ALOT to build up my supply.

BimboNo5, you say you don't mind bf but think it's odd over 2? Well you have already told me I'm weird for doing it at 13months... And so what if I think it's funny the way he bfs - it's either that or cry about it - he's a bit young to be taught many manners, although I do make him wait until his evening feed, so I try to be good about it.

Like others said, it's just something you arrive at one day at a time. I honestly thought I'd have finished by now, but it just so happens that today DS wanted feeding, so I fed him. Same will probably happen tomorrow and the day after that. I will never force him.

I used to feed first thing, then express using a Avent iQ pump twice during the day, aiming for about 5-6 oz each time, and then store it in an electric cool bag under my desk. The cool bag also plugged into the cigarette lighter in the car so the milk could stay chilled on the way home. I would then do a feed when I got home, and a final one at bedtime. Not a problem really.

If you husband has an opinion then that is just as important as yours. yes as marshy said they are your breasts, but they are his children just as much as they are yours and he has as much right to give them other food or formula against your wishes as you have to give them breast milk against his wishes. Your need to come to a decision together if you are bringing the childen up together.
FIL should mind his own business (I assume DH had not been speaking to him for advice about stopping you breast feeding and he just offered his opinion without prompting).

Sorry Bimbo but:

As usual its the pro breastfeeders who label people nutcases/twerps etc when they disagree with them in any way shape or form...

then

Anyway thats my final say on this debate, its pointless trying to converse with the utter zealots this topic attracts, there seems to be very little middle ground, its as if a klaxon goes off in some weirdy beardy commune somewhere and attracts them all

Can you see the irony in this?

GoesOffWearingHerBeardProudlyTiggaxx

I have a friend who purports to be very liberal but has real issues with breastfeeding. One of her colleagues did it at a work meeting the other day and she went on about how inappropriate and unprofessional it was. Sigh.

Anyway, I do think it's odd past a certain age, but honestly what age that is I don't know. I know 2 and 3 year olds who still nurse and it doesn't bother me a bit, but that documentary about the 8 year old that still does...yeah, a bit weird to me. I'm sorry if that offends anyone.

And it isn't because I see breasts as purely sexual, it's because I see nursing as something for babies or very very young children. It's odd to me the same way it would be odd for an eight year old to have a pacifier, or to wear diapers if he/she did not have SN.

I guess "bother" isn't the right word; I don't sit up at night thinking about it or anything. :) But if I saw a child of that age BFing I would definitely think it strange.

i would find it incredibly inappropriate if somebody were breastfeeding in a work meeting.

It's not like, a huge corporation or anything like that. That was just the most recent example, anyway. She says she's not going to do it if it's "hard" and is incredibly defensive about it, so I think that's why she rips on it whenever possible.

Our other friend is breastfeeding her DD (11 mos.) and the anti-bfing friend always talks to me about how our other friend really needs to feed DD more "real food", etc. And she also does the whole "kids who can walk around are too old" , etc.

Interesting program on the whole area last night on BBC 1, went into most of the issues discussed here ( somewhat more dispassionately :) )

What was clear is that women breastfeeding after 6 months are a minute ( less than 5 %) of the population, so on MN ( or on this thread anyway) the EBF tendency is mahoosively over-represented.

What also became clear is that the EBF thing is also wrapped up into the SAHM thing, so it's a twoferone emotive issue.

And the women on the programme who were into EBF were exactly the sort I'd run a mile from.

Frankly, as someone who BF for as long as I could before baby size and work needs intervened, I felt normal again after watching it - whereas on this thread I felt as if I was sometimes a social pariah, just for disagreeing that EBF is the best for everyone.

What a lovely post, whatmeworry. (not) I didnt see the program but I expect it was a nice sensationalist extreme thing. Normal people talking about natural term breastfeeding woudlnt make interesting viewing. That's what many of us have been trying to say on this thread ie it's not a far out there hippy, sick, weird freaky thing and that we are normal everyday mums. But you've watch a tv program that have probaby, as tv does, taken extreme examples to make more interesting viewing and you would rather base your "judging" on that rather than more the boring type examples seen on this thread.

Also many of us on this thread work. You say on the program you watched they seemed to be sahm. Probably because they have more time on their hands to go on tv and also makes for easier judging and stereotyping.