to have laughed when my fil told my dh

[biddysmama]

that he should stop me from breastfeeding now as dd is too old? (shes 2,ds is 1 and im pg)

do people do what their husbands tell them to? ive got a mind of my own thanks very much

" its pointless trying to converse with the utter zealots this topic attracts, there seems to be very little middle ground, its as if a klaxon goes off in some weirdy beardy commune somewhere and attracts them all"

mind you, I do agree with this. However, I suspect my "zealots" are in the other camp to the ones you meant.

"weirdy beardy commune". lol. As if! Believe me my life is nothing like this. I have my own nair hair removal and everything.

Oh man, I am NOT going to read through 13 pages of this!

Well done OP! It's really no ones business. Is your DH supportive?

i have adn continue to do loads of things that are unnecessary for my children and I expect always will. I dont think I've met a parent yet who doesnt.

But bimbo, to be fair to the "zealots" , you are telling them that something they do, that is right for them and their dc, is wrong, or unnecessary. Other posters have told them they are weird.

How should they respond? Should they say "Good God, here I am feeding a walking, talking child. How did I not see that I am wrong, I should have stopped at the first step and the first utterance of "Mama"". Cos that ain't gonna happen!

If someone criticised your parenting, your lifestyle choices, I hope to God you would have the gumption to defend yourself with evidence, and to point out that it is offensive and downright rude of them.

OP, I think it sounds like you are doing fabulously.
FWIW, my most confident, independent child is the one I fed until he was ready to stop. I'm feeding my 4th, and thanks to MN, I will carry on until he wants to stop, and not a moment before.

I love all these arbitrary points people have for when you should wean - spoon holding is the best yet!

As far as I can see breastfeeding is an entirely harmless activity, it's healthier and more convenient than animal milk in a cup or bottle, and is a nicer and better for teeth than using artificial teats for comfort. So why not just continue til either mother of child wants to stop? I don't see the problem.

srilanka spudulika. It is a 3rd world country but clean fresh water is readily available for the vast majority of people, (and compared to other developing countries it has a very high literacy rate and low infant mortality rate due to a good national health service.).

Sri lanka even has a special mention in the "Politics of Breastfeeding" book about it's BF culture

I lived in Sri Lanka as a teenager choceyes.

Funny thing - what I remember about Sri Lanka was how many of the women seem to have figures like the figures in the cave paintings at Sigiriya: <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sigiriya+cave+paintings&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=923&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=fp3HvCGVigITtM:&imgrefurl=www.wanderlust.co.uk/mywanderlust/members/satkinson/photos/sri-lanka-cultural-triangle_18454/72184&docid=UiYyGvai-Upu1M&w=900&h=675&ei=-rRcTvHuEYm28QPrlNnNAw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=474&page=3&tbnh=140&tbnw=187&start=57&ndsp=31&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:57&tx=132&ty=103" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ayecarumba!

And trying to buy a bra that didn't look like it was fashioned from aircraft parts.

Wonder if it's all that breastfeeding which gives Sri Lankan women their amazing physiques!

It's not necessary!

Bananas aren't necessary.
Bedtime stories aren't necessary.
Neither are toys, Christmas presents, kisses and cuddles...

I do loads of things which aren't necessary to my child's survival because they contribute to his health and happiness.

your link doesn't work spudulika but I know the paintings you mean!

Alas my breasts don't look anything like those after BF two children. I wish i did.

yes I know what you mean about the bras... they were like those cone fake breasts a la Madonna in the 80s!

It pissses me off that the whole thing is so politicised and polarised, I think the earlier poster who said she was made to feel guilty for starting bf and also guilty for stopping bf summed it up nicely.

Rainbow the most sensible thing said so far and better articulated than I was trying to say...

I can certainly see how for someone who has no experience of natural term breastfeeding that the whole pulling at the top thing must seem weird but bf an older child comes with it's own set of "norms" and if you're not used to seeing and experiencing it every day then you really have no idea how such a relationship works.

Oh Rita kisses and cuddles are very necerssary.

Good post PanSco

No more necessary than breastfeeding, no child will die without them. Why not demonstrate affection with a nice hand shake instead?

Oh they'll die inside rita

I get your ironic sarcasm btw (I hope it is anyway)

I would still quite like one of the people who think that BFing a walking/talking/spoon holding child is weird/sick/unnatural to answer my question about their opinion on the fact that BFing till 2 is a WHO recommendation.

It seems to me like it is far more important to some people to sling the same old easy insults over and over again than it is to actually engage in a reasoned discussion of the subject which seems so bizarrely important to them.

It's your choice of course.

But I can't help laughing at ImperialBlether "Should you wait until the child can ask to stop? Or write a note?"

I will be phasing out daytime BF over the next month and then aim to lose the morning/evening feeds later. But that is because we have to change our routines and childcare arrangements and phasing out daytime feeds is the only way.

spudulika Those have GOT to be implants! LOL!

Kungfu I said it was weird to me in an early post because it is SADLY not our society norm.

I think this is a shame and a result of many factors ranging from "the formula revolution" , non-experience, over sexualisation. Unfortunately these factors have had a bigger influence on new mums than WHO recommendations.

Most intelligent women will investigate what is best for their child and discover guidelines but to help them bitch slapping ain't the answer.

Is that reasoned engagement?

To a breastfed baby/child, breastfeeding isn't just about milk, it's about cuddles, love, comfort and so much more. (not saying this is any less bonding/love etc for ffed babies) but it really is on a par with cuddles and kisses. Yes, it can be stopped and the child may not suffer for it, but if a mother chooses to continue until her child is ready to stop (and they do self wean, they won't carry on past a certain age) surely they should be congratulated?

PamSco - yes it is. I was actually hoping for a response from one of the slightly hysterical "bitty" and "beardy weardy" posters however. I don't suppose I will get one though. Its far more fun to throw a facile insult and run.

I was the only one who raised a Bitty link. It was not hysterical - it was to illustrate how the UK illustrates ebf and is therefore a factor on why new mums think it is weird.

I think subsequently posters reacted negatively without reading or understanding the context for the link. So you maybe waiting sometime. Unless I missed another poster Bitty-bashing? Could have.

i think this was the post kungfu might have been referring to ...

BimboNo5 Mon 29-Aug-11 18:19:06

And why is it always the pro bitty posters who are so agressive and dismissive of what anyone else thinks?