to think it's not "men" who are the problem...

[TheFlyingOnion]

inspired by many threads recently, but mostly in the "Relationships" topic...

I read so many statements along the lines of "men always put themselves first", "what do you expect, men always want...." etc etc.

AIBU to think its not MEN that are the problem, its THIS man! MEN don't always put themselves first, THIS man is putting himself first, MEN don't always leave the children stuff to the wives, THIS man does!!

If any man ever wrote "oh, women ALWAYS etc etc" I think we would be up in arms, no?

Let's get some perspective and admit that SOME men are wrong un's but this does not mean that ALL men should be tarred with the same brush.

I think I'm probably not BU, but I will ask anyway, AIBU?

I agree, my exh was a total git (still is to his child but that is a whole other thread) whereas my husband is the loveliest man you will ever meet.

Sometimes it is not just the fault of the man or woman either, sometimes it is a bit of both and sometimes one person is toxic for another causing the problems (wonders if any of that makes any sense).

I have a lovely DH, a small male and a larger one (presumably; he hasn't made it down the stairs yet today thanks to canned drinks and cereal bars.) I have small and larger girls too. They are all lovely and the DCs know that housework is something we all do our bit towards. I would never insult my DH be suggesting he wasn't capable of looking after the house and feeding himself and the children. What message would it give to the DCs? Girls, this is your future role because men can't do it? Boys, this isn't something you can/need to do because like DH you will never have to/be able to do it?

When my older ones came to live with us (family thing) they had been pretty much looking after themselves. The idea that all women are somehow born with an innate ability to look after homes and children is bollocks.