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AIBU?

Partner making snide comments on DDs facebook

236 replies

MuckyBogStain · 25/08/2011 14:43

DD is currently away in London for the week and this morning posted a status on facebook about her breakfast saying it was lovely and the chefs can cook.

DP then posted a reply saying "well that's generally what chefs do". A number of people have "liked" DPs reply which to me is a little like group piss-taking.

He's always doing this though and we've talked about it before and his answer is that she shouldn't post "dopey" status updates which he justifies by saying none of the other 14/15 year olds on his facebook post daft comments like she does and that she should have grown out of it by now.

AIBU to see that he's done it again?

OP posts:

Report

flippinada · 25/08/2011 19:33

Don't know where the redundant 'man' came from, apologies.

exoticfruits · 25/08/2011 19:35

You can defriend!

Kayano · 25/08/2011 19:36

Soz flippin I was just like.... 'wow I just
Posted that' and had to think if it came across bullying.

I also have no qualms about my mum/ dad/ or either of their spouses being my fb friend at 14. They are family. Why shouldn't people be friends ?

flippinada · 25/08/2011 19:36

Plus, what flyingspaghettimonster just said.

NorfolkBroad · 25/08/2011 19:38

I think if someone is constantly be snide and sarcastic and enjoys TTP of someone (whoever that might be) it is annoying and sometimes upsetting. Also if it is a constant thing and there is not enough positive stuff to balance it it can make someone feel small and knock their confidence. YANBU if it is a continual issue. If it upsets DD and she has told him he ought to stop.

flippinada · 25/08/2011 19:39

Yes, if it's someone you know, but this bloke (OP's partner) says he has loads of 14/15 year olds on fb.

Er, why...?

He's coming across as kind of a twat really.

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 25/08/2011 19:42

He's a twat. She's precious beyond belief and will never cope in the real world. Why are people like this even friends on FB?

flippinada · 25/08/2011 19:43

And actually, why would a grown man want to make digs/sarky comments at a teenage girl to the point where's she's upset?

The fact she's his daughter/step daughter makes it doubly unpleasant.

AmuseYourBouche · 25/08/2011 19:50

Tell your DD to remove him as a friend, but just before she does it post on his walls 'Laters old man'.

See how funny he finds it.

yellowraincoat · 25/08/2011 19:53

Adults engaging with teenagers on fb, esp to pisstake, is weird.

squeakytoy · 25/08/2011 19:56

14 year olds should not accept adults as friends.

Parents should not be their children's friends on Facebook

You seem to have some weird thinking there Seeker... why on earth should teenagers not be able to communicate with adults? Especially their own family?

cricketballs · 25/08/2011 19:59

exoticfruits; I have been 'friends' with my ds on fb since he first went on there at 13; we often have digs at each other and I am gad to report that he has no psychological issues because of it!

cricketballs · 25/08/2011 20:01

glad!

BettyCash · 25/08/2011 20:05

Your DS can go into FB settings and change what DP sees, e.g. no wall.

FabbyChic · 25/08/2011 20:06

Im not friends with my sons never have been. I'd not wish to embarass them.

MissBeehiving · 25/08/2011 20:14

FB is the root of all evil. S'true.

exoticfruits · 25/08/2011 20:28

That is fine, cricketballs, if he is happy.
I am DS1s friend, and DS2's girlfriend's friend -but not DS2 and DS3's friend-their choice. I am also nephew 2 and 3's friend but not nephew 1 and 4's friend. You have the choice of who to have as friend and you can defriend. Had it been around when I was 14 I wouldn't have had my parents as friends. It is all personal choice.

2rebecca · 25/08/2011 20:29

If the 14 year old is considered mature enough to have a facebook account then the 14 year old should be grown up enough to either tell your partner ? not her father to stop being childish and sarcastic or defriend him. You shouldn't be fighting her facebook battles.

seeker · 25/08/2011 20:41

Nope- not weird thinking. Facebook is to communicate with friends. Adults and 14 year olds are not friends.

Mitmoo · 25/08/2011 20:46

Occasionally I have posted on son's wall, such as when he has won a prize at a golf tournament and he won't post it. Proud mama does it and he is glad that I did. Other than that there is no way I would engage in conversations son is having with his friends.

Toooooooooooooo weird.

seeker · 25/08/2011 21:01

Nope. Shouldn't even be friends. It'd be like having your mum under the seat on the bus to school.

kelly2000 · 25/08/2011 21:06

Sorry, but it is bullying, and the attitude that if the victim gets upset it is their problem and they should think of the pleasure the man is getting from humilating the child instead of being upset, is classic blame the victim bully tactics. The attitude that the child should have to deal with bullying from an adult on their own especially when it is from an adult who is a position of responsibility over them is wrong. he is her step father and it should not be the case that she has to put up with his bullying on her own and learn to be abusive back. That is a dysfunctional relationship. Would you behave like that at the dinner table?
And again i repeat it is creepy for a grown man to not only be friends with a young teenage girl, but to actual keep an active eye out for her updates and take the time to make nasty comments because he thinks her comments are not mature enough in his opinion. If a boy at school was behaving like that what would you think?

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cricketballs · 25/08/2011 21:09

sorry, but every time there is a thread on AIBU about facebook and teenagers the majority always go with the line of be friends with them in order to keep an eye out so why is it so wrong for a a man to be friends with his DSS?

Mitmoo · 25/08/2011 21:13

cricket nothing but he shouldn't abuse it as he has.

Abuse it - lose it.

InnocentRedhead · 25/08/2011 21:14

The comment that he posted to that, in one context seems really funny! My dad is a funny buggar and is always coming out with little things to make us laugh (some sarcastic, some just plain immature etc.. but always fucking hilarious) however what he is saying about her 'dopey comments' is unjust and uncalled for. i do not think that your DDs comment is dopey, just stating that she enjoyed her breakfast (I don't know many 15 year olds that eat b.fast!!)

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if this has being said

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