Partner making snide comments on DDs facebook

[MuckyBogStain]

DD is currently away in London for the week and this morning posted a status on facebook about her breakfast saying it was lovely and the chefs can cook.

DP then posted a reply saying "well that's generally what chefs do". A number of people have "liked" DPs reply which to me is a little like group piss-taking.

He's always doing this though and we've talked about it before and his answer is that she shouldn't post "dopey" status updates which he justifies by saying none of the other 14/15 year olds on his facebook post daft comments like she does and that she should have grown out of it by now.

AIBU to see that he's done it again?

[BoneyBackJefferson]

I agree with those that have said

if she doesn't like it block him

[HerBeX]

And no, OP you're not being unreasonable.

Not seeing the constant undermining of your child by an adult as a bit of a giggle, is a reasonable, functional response.

It does rather beg the question of why such a repellent sounding man is your DP though, sorry.

[HerBeX]

I agree with Kelly.

This guy sounds like a creep. Who cares whether the girl is being precious or over sensitive or should be tougher? Why is everyone focusing on her response, rather than his revolting behaviour? He's an adult FFS, she is a child and he has some power over her. My friend had a stepfather like this, he made her life a misery because at 14, 15 etc, she simply didn't have the maturity to deal with the fact that he's a rather pathetic fuckwit. Every time she challenged him on his pisstaking, he claimed it was a joke, but if someone very obviously doesn't like the joke, a normal, functional, decent adult stops fucking telling it - anyone who doesn't realise that, must be a really tedious person and I'm glad I don't work in the same office as some of you. Now that my friend in her 40s, they're quite good friends because she now has the emotional maturity to understand that he's an inadequate saddo and she no longer has to live in the same house as him.

It would have been horrific for her if he'd been able to follow her onto Facebook and invade her social space with his fuckwittery. At least when she was with us, her friends, he wasn't there undermining and taking the piss out her.

[kelly2000]

Wadman,
Why are you being so nasty, is that how your normally behave if you disagree with someone?

[WidowWadman]

I guess OP won't return. And I suspect now that Kelly is a sockpuppet.

[Fefeffion]

My dad has always done this to me and still does. On fb I made a comment about looking forward to being 36 (as in birthday). He posted on my wall 'do you mean birthday or IQ??'. He's mean, it's his twisted sense of humour. I felt embarrassed that all my fb contacts (some work) coud see it though. I would never doubt his love for me.

[flippinada]

So it's "precious" to be concerned when your teenage DC is being upset by your partner.......really?

[wineandroses]

Onemorechap

It is odd when the OP disappears...anyway, I agree that the short answer to the original question is - block him. Probably a bit simplistic given the relationships etc, but if the DD really is upset/embarrassed by the DP's postings on FB then blocking will solve that particular problem.

Suspect OP may never return.

[OneMoreChap]

wineandroses I begin to suspect we share suspicions.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1287338-He-no-longer-likes-my-pet-name-and-other-stuff

Nah, I'm not being sarcastic and obnoxious to those who disagree with me. Their name is legion.

I'm being sarcastic and obnoxious [and if you look carefully being snide about apostrophes, in posts where I misuse them accidentally] to people who spin "sarcastic git, who I have spoken to" into perv or bully.

I've dealt with bullying cases professionally, both where it has been RL and online, and wouldn't support anyone doing it.

Here, where pseudonymity and name-changing abounds, is rather different to the quasi-public arena of Facebook, with its complex privacy settings; however, if the DD wants to shut off DP, little is easier.

As I suggest, I suspect OP is being a bit precious.

[kelly2000]

I know the difference between paediatrician and paedophile, and I have never heard of anyone mistaking them. The person making the bad attempt to insult me, came across as not knowing the difference. The only reason it goes over my head is because I cannot imagine people being so stupid. If you have to explain to someone the insult you made towards them, and clarify that you were trying to imply someone did not know the difference between two words but you did your insult has backfired on you. It really is not nice to start insulting people because you disagree. the OP asked for opinions, she got them.

[wineandroses]

Wonder where the OP's gone?

OneMoreChap, I can see why you find no fault with the OP's DP posting sarcastic comments to the DD; you are doing the same thing to those posters who disagree with you. It's a bit unpleasant.

[kelly2000]

mymamatoldme,
I do not neccesarily agree he is being a perv because of the messages, but that behaviour can easily come across as that especially to teenage girls who are fed up with him. how is he going to feel when one of them makes a commet like that about hm that everyone he knows can see! I think it is more the fact he keeps doing it despite being told not to, and the way he defends it that is weird and creepy. From his response does not seem like this is just how he behaves to people in general, more like he is doing it to her specifically for his own reasons, which is weird when he knows his partner does not like it. If he had replied with a "im only teasing" or "I am like this with everyone" I would not have found it so creepy. I agree she should delete him and block him, or at least adjust her settings so he cannot comment. But I think it is sad that she should have to do that to her stepfather.

[WidowWadman]

Kelly - I can't believe that someone actually needs to explain this to you, but the paediatrician thing refers to that there are stupid people who cannot tell the difference between different words beginning with "paed", and who are in favour of vigilantism without asking questions.

You are coming across like one of them. This is pretty obvious. The fact that it went over your head just supports this suspicion further.

[exoticfruits]

It is a long thread when all she needs to do is delete him as a friend!

[kelly2000]

Well I did not see how you made it obvious you know what a paediatrician was. I assumed you did not know what paeditriaican meant and thought the paed refered to sex abuse, rather than just child and was saying you thought I thought all paedophiles should be beaten up.
It really was not a good insult, if that was what your comment was intended to be.

[OneMoreChap]

kelly2000 Thank you, I'm aware of the definition of paediatrician.
I know precisely what I meant.


Should the leaden sarcasm have escaped you, I am suggesting that those who see "perv" in the comments here are just the sort of poltroon who beat up doctors mistaking them for kiddyfiddlers.

[MyMamaToldMe]

Congratulate away if that's what makes you happy.

I don't agree that because he is making fun of her that he is pervy. But there are different types of making fun, as there are different types of people.

[kelly2000]

Onemorechap, No actually it was the men who said first he was a perv. I did no really think of that too much until they said it, but they are right it is unhealthy andif he was a teenage boy the automatic reponse would be £he fancies you and is trying to get your attention". Fine the first time, he maybe is just soically inept, but once he had been told he should have stopped, not instisted that he contine, and then defend it by saying she should grow up like the other teenagers he is friends with. That is not normal behaviour, most men who were told that their actions were hurting their partners daughter would be mortified and stop right away.

And paediatricians are doctors, I think you meant paedophiles.

[MyMamaToldMe]

Too true Appley - you can't force someone to be decent.

[OneMoreChap]

MyMamaToldMe to whom was your question?
If me, whether he is her father/stepfather makes no real difference.

It's the reference to pervy stepfather that grated.

Remind me again, where in the - noticeably absent - OPs post does it say he doesn't support putative DD. It says he comments on inane FB posts, to the amusement of some others...

I'd also ask if you regard it as always wrong to make fun of people. My kids certainly make fun of me, and always have done. Incidentally, may I congratulate you on the ironic apostrophisation?

[AppleyEverAfter]

MyMama: If that's what type of 'parent' he wants to be, then yes! Why try to force someone to be nice if they're obviously a bit of an idiot?

[MyMamaToldMe]

So does that mean he doesn't have to support her and he can make fun of her?

[OneMoreChap]

Incidentally: daughter of partner does not mean "not daughter of both of them".