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AIBU?

Partner making snide comments on DDs facebook

236 replies

MuckyBogStain · 25/08/2011 14:43

DD is currently away in London for the week and this morning posted a status on facebook about her breakfast saying it was lovely and the chefs can cook.

DP then posted a reply saying "well that's generally what chefs do". A number of people have "liked" DPs reply which to me is a little like group piss-taking.

He's always doing this though and we've talked about it before and his answer is that she shouldn't post "dopey" status updates which he justifies by saying none of the other 14/15 year olds on his facebook post daft comments like she does and that she should have grown out of it by now.

AIBU to see that he's done it again?

OP posts:

Report

Tenacity · 25/08/2011 15:21

That sounds like bullying and belittling. Thats not on... at any age.

JanMorrow · 25/08/2011 15:22

Tell this bloke he's being a cock and tell her to either delete or block him from her facebook.. I'd go with the blocking thing.

SuePurblybilt · 25/08/2011 15:26

This reminds me of that thread where the DP wouldn't stop taking the piss out of the step-daughter's cat. Or hamster, or something . I'd say the same now as I did then: if an adult can avoid upsetting a child by simply stopping their own unnecessary, silly behaviour then why the feckery wouldn't they?
Your DP is an arse and needs to stop cluttering up the FB pages of teenagers. Tell him to let them alone.

NoodlesMam · 25/08/2011 15:56

Seems it's not the first time he's done it tho, if it was then perhaps she could brush it off. I personally don't think OP's DD said anything mock-worthy, perhaps it may have read better had she said the chef's can cook WELL but to be honest that is how I would've read it anyway??? My DH takes the mick out of my DD all the time, it's their banter and she's able to give as good as she gets. He NEVER does it on FB tho, that would be belittling her infront of her friends and both she and I would be pee'd off to say the least. Seems to me it's the OP's DP who needs to grow up, not the DD. Tell her to block him.

bonkers20 · 25/08/2011 16:07

If your DD doesn't like what her Dad posts on her FB then he shouldn't do it. Why would a father deliberately do something which embarrasses his child infront of her friends?

Being a good sport is one thing - and is something everyone needs to learn, but not when you're a teenager, and not on FB!

I thought parents were only on their children's FB account to monitor them, not to actually contribute in the conversations they're having.

He's certainly not earning any respect from her is he?

offonajolly · 25/08/2011 17:00

DBG - relax...

I hate it when people think that just because they don't get offended by such things, no-one else is entitled to their own emotional response. SO narrow-minded.

Sounds like your daughter should just block him. Seems like he has nothing better to do with his time than try to make her look silly.

Mean and unneccessary

cricketballs · 25/08/2011 18:04

I agree with you dogs; if she is going to be posting on a public forum then she needs to understand that she will get replies like this when posting something daft!

I do it to my ds all the time on fb!

kelly2000 · 25/08/2011 18:05

he is putting her in a difficult situation. he is an adult, so he she responds in a similar rude way she will be accused of being rude to an adult. If she blocked him on facebook would he take offence. If he had said something like that to you in public how would you feel. I would suggest to your daughter she removes him from her friends list. In my opinion it is a bit weird for grown men to be friends with teenagers on facebook, but I realise that is just my opinion.
I would also ask your partner what his response would be if she had replied "well, you are a grown man who gets his kicks from looking at teenage girls facebook pages and then trying to humiliate them". remember she has no choice about having him in her life, and this behaviour is bordering on bullying, it should be nipped in the bud.

MilkandWine · 25/08/2011 18:07

Why is he even posting on her FB wall? I couldn't imagine anything that would embarrass me more than my dad posting on my FB (If I was a teenager again of course)

He should leave her alone, it's rather mean and petty of him to want to publicly put her down like that imo.

cricketballs · 25/08/2011 18:09

oh behave with the bullying comment; he stated the obvious about her status. in terms of having teenagers on fb why is it so repulsive to many of you? My ds is 'friends' with a large number of adults as he has a lot of contact with them through work/sport/family/family friends

LadyFlumpalot · 25/08/2011 18:11

I'm 27 and my step-dad still does this, makes snide comments about my photos/updates. I posted a holiday picture where I was in a swimsuit in a swimming pool. His comment - Ugh! Put your body away!!!

I just told him that if he can't refrain from making said comments he can either choose not to look or I will delete him, then neither he nor my mum will be able to see the new photos of their DGS.

He hasn't done it for a while.

seeker · 25/08/2011 18:12

14 year olds should not accept adults as friends.

But I can't really understand why anyone would be upset by a comment like that- or why the OP got involved.

worraliberty · 25/08/2011 18:12

Oh dear God, sense of humour transplant needed or what!

OP, one of the best things (imo) we can do for our children is teach them to have a sense of humour and not to take themselves and everyone else so seriously.

Life really would be so much easier.

kelly2000 · 25/08/2011 18:15

I also bet the partner can dish it out, but not take it. i wonder how funny he will think it when the daughter and her friends start replying with "oh look its the weird creepy step dad again, facebook stalking", "get a life, don't you have friends your own age old man" "just because they are called chefs does not mean they will be good at cooking, you are an adult and act like a big toddler" etc. I bet he will have a tantrum. It sounds like he is insecure, and picks on people who are not in a good position to stand up for themselves (he is the partner of her mother, she can not tell him to fuck off and stay away from her, and he knows it) and likes getting laughs from the other teenagers.

SuePurblybilt · 25/08/2011 18:16

How do you teach them to have a sense of humour about something that's not funny? It's not Perrier Prize winning stuff, is it? More the kind of low-level snarking that is defended by the person saying "God, can't you take a joke?".

MigratingCoconuts · 25/08/2011 18:17

I'm just immpressed that a 14 year old was socially aware enough to notice that someone else had not only cooked for her but done a good job and taken trouble to mentioon it.

I find that pretty impressive actually

worraliberty · 25/08/2011 18:19

Oh for goodness sake Sue

As an adult, you should know that humour comes in all different forms. So if you don't find it funny, that doesn't mean no-one else does.

The guy obviously did and that doesn't make him snidey.

usualsuspect · 25/08/2011 18:19

I hate that ,when people say something not remotely funny and then say you have no sense of humour if you don't laugh

My Ds is the funniest person I know , but I still wouldn't post stupid comments on his fb page

I would say them in RL though

Robotindisguise · 25/08/2011 18:20

But teenagers do take themselves seriously.

Mucky - I take it this isn't the child's father? Tell her to block him, and then tell him that's what you've advised. There is a world of difference between taking the piss in a comfortable setting and publicly putting someone down.

My friend's 13 year old DD is my friend on FB. Her stuff on my newsfeed is a whole load of "OMG UR soooooo ggoooorrrgggeoouussssss" stuff between a group of utterly normal, on the face of it nearly identical children. It would be so easy to take the piss but it's never crossed my mind because I love her.

SuePurblybilt · 25/08/2011 18:22

OK worra, you go find ten people that find that comment side-splitting and I'll change my mind. I'll bet my last biscuit that nobody actually finds it funny so at best, it's either pointless or slightly snide.
Still makes him a wanker in my book.

Mitmoo · 25/08/2011 18:22

What kind of an idiot posts sarcy comments on a teens website. You just don't involve yourself in FB chats between friends. He's a numpty.

exoticfruits · 25/08/2011 18:22

Simple-defriend him if she doesn't like it.

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kelly2000 · 25/08/2011 18:25

Worra, he admits he did it because he does not like her comments and wants to grow out of it. he did not say he humiliated her because he found it amused him. Not that make sit any better. And a joke is funny, trying to belittle a child by making jokes about her is not funny nor is it witty, it just makes him look stupid. I wonder if he is like this to adults or just children. It is also dodgy ground to go on, in real life is she allowed to insult him and belittle him in front of his friends. A grown an trying to get kicks by making jokes about children to their friends is at best immature and at worst creepy. How is the daughter supposed to respect him, when her only defense is to be rude to an adult. he has been asked not to do, but he refuses to stop.

toddlerama · 25/08/2011 18:26

If you perceive it to be snidey and mean, why are you in a relationship?? Surely these aren't character traits you look for - and he directed them at your daughter!!

worraliberty · 25/08/2011 18:26

Did anyone say it was side splitting Sue?

Still doesn't make it snide because certain people don't have a sense of humour

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