to not want my 16yo dd to read this book?

[BrittanyBelle]

16 yo dd wants to read the millenium trilogy - girl with dragon tatto etc. i have read them myself but think they are too graphic/violent. TBH i don't think she'll manage more than 50 pages as she's not a very voracious reader but i'm aware that showing my reluctance will motivate her even more. this is my first posting so thanks for your advice

do you honestly expect to have a say in what a 16yo reads?
I can't imagine that going down at all well, I was a VERY well behaved teen but would have hit the fucking roof if my mum had tried to say that I couldn't read something at 16.

To be fair, if somebody had told me not to read something at sixteen I would have laughed at them.

Life's a learning curve. If she tries it and doesn't like it, she'll try something different next time she chooses a book. Make it taboo and she may well just persevere out of stubbornness.

I would say that you should not be censoring a 16-year-old's reading. By all means be prepared to discuss them with her though and put your point of view across. But a 16 year old should be allowed to decide for herself what to read.

Bet she'll have read worse. Encourage her to talk to you about any issues she finds unsettling, maybe?

YABU! She is 16 not 6!

Does she want to read it because it's a film? Has she read a synopsis? Not just a blurb, but a decent write-up? If you say, the book deals with: and list the themes and issues dispassionately she may change her mind anyway:)

I think you should let her - 16 is old enough in lots of ways but she may will miss some of the really graphic stuff, having no frame of reference iyswim?

To be honest, she'll probably get bored a few pages in!

I will watch with interest to see what others say, though. A pretty free and easy about letting kids read what they want but know lots of people don't agree.

Not unreasonable in not wanting her to. You would be unreasonable to forbid, however. Has she ever seen an 18 movie?

crikey! if you are teling her what she can and cant read at sixteen i dread to think what she will be getting up to behind your back!

I would just be grateful that she is showing an interest in reading!

Posting as a secondary school English teacher, you are very lucky to have a dd who wishes to read full stop. Please do not discourage her.

You don't have to like it. At 16, she can read what she chooses. But you could be open to discussing the content with her afterwards.

yabu

I have read all three (actually cheated and got them on audio book) I don't think there is anything in them that she hasn't already read/imagined/watched on tv. There are a couple of graphic bits in it from what I can remember but I don't think there is anything in them that a 16 year old couldn't handle. Let her know you are available to chat should there be anything she finds disturbing. I thoroughly enjoyed them :)

If she does sleepovers elsewhere I think it's almost guaranteed she will have seen equivalent films already, even if not under your roof. My 16 year old has just read "Let the Right One In", which is a Swedish vampire book with a similar level of nastiness to the Millennium trilogy, and I didn't worry at all about her reading it - she found it gross in parts but enjoyed the grossness, if you see what I mean. I also think your daughter'll read it anyway if she wants to - and surely at 16 she should be already have some awareness of the sorts of themes it covers, anyway? If she wants to read anything other than Facebook, I think you're doing well, to be honest!

If my mum had told me i wasn't allowed to read a certain book at 16 i honestly would've thought she was joking. IIRC i was reading stephen king at that age, 'along came a spider' and another one, can't remember what it's called though. Tbh, i think violent books are only as graphical as you imagine them to be. Iyswim?

I'd be pleased if a 16 yr old read them - yes, there is violence, but Lisbeth is a woman is a much better character than the wet and weedy women normally in fiction teens read - Twilight for example

This is your 16 year old who can legally leave home, have sex, get married and join the army, right? And you're trying to stop her reading something? Blimey.

Y are definitely BU. Let her read what she wants! I read The Exorcist at around 14 and despite years of practice I still can't spin my head a full 360!

thanks for your remarks, actually i do agree with most of the comments- at her age i had been reading adult fiction for some years and it didn't do me much any harm. i guess i am being overprotective but she is quite immature.

YABU - she's 16. however i'll bet she won't get more than 2 chapters in and will ditch it (before it gets good/graphic/violent)

FWIW, I am a secondary school English teacher and these books were read by most of the L6 when they were first out. I think trying to censor what a 16 year old reads is a rather pointless and controlling exercise, tbh.

Just let her read it and say nothing.

She will either decide for herself that she doesn't want to read the violent details and give it up herself if she's uncomfortable, or she's more mature and able to cope with the contextual meaning of it all than you realise. Either way it's a good opportunity for both you and her to learn a bit more about what level she is really at.

YABU, let her read them :)