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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my 16yo dd to read this book?

70 replies

BrittanyBelle · 24/08/2011 17:46

16 yo dd wants to read the millenium trilogy - girl with dragon tatto etc. i have read them myself but think they are too graphic/violent. TBH i don't think she'll manage more than 50 pages as she's not a very voracious reader but i'm aware that showing my reluctance will motivate her even more. this is my first posting so thanks for your advice

OP posts:
EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 24/08/2011 18:10

Grin at telling a 16 year old what she may or may not read.

Unless it's part of a cunning plan to spur her into reading more by making something forbidden.

Funtimewincies · 24/08/2011 18:12

Hahahahahahahahahhahahaha .

You might not like it, fair enough, but you've got no real say.

I remember my dad waving me towards his Thomas Hardy collection when I was whingeing that I'd read all of my books when I was 10 or 11. They were very educational Grin! To be fair, my dad encouraged me to read whatever I was interested in and was always willing to talk about what we were both reading.

If you've read the books in question, I'd say that it's a good opportunity to discuss some of the themes and content.

BornSicky · 24/08/2011 18:12

I read A Clockwork Orange when I was 13.

I think I'd seen worse in films by then.

I also read countless horror novels which all have horrific sex scenes in them - Herbert, Hutson, Koontz etc.

The Millenium Trilogy is great writing and a brilliant female lead character.

I'd encourage her to read it and discuss with her anything she finds disturbing.

DandyGilver · 24/08/2011 18:13

You couldn't have stopped me reading what I wanted with a gun at sixteen (or in fact 11)

If she is not a keen reader she may not stick with it, if she is, she has already read far worse.

She is sixteen.

AgonyBeetle · 24/08/2011 18:19

I read Shirley Conran's LACE when I was 15, though admittedly I was a bit confused by the scene with the goldfish.

Avocets · 24/08/2011 18:20

You are being unreasonable tbh, but it is good not to be complacent about these issues. I was brought up short recently when I (in smug liberal-tastic mode) sat down with my 11 year old and 14 year old to enjoy a wet sunday watching Jude the obscure with Kate winslet and Christopher ecclestone. All I can say is thank god I was there.

Whatmeworry · 24/08/2011 18:21

But think of all the positive female role models :)

FabbyChic · 24/08/2011 18:21

She only acts immature at home, children are totally different around their friends and out of the house.

She is 16 now old enough to have sex. Let her read them and make up her own mind.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 24/08/2011 18:32

She probably won't make it first the first few chapters, which are really really dull.

Seabird72 · 24/08/2011 18:42

read the first book because it was a choice for our book club but found it really hard going - let her at least try - she's 16 she can make up her own mind. I didn't think it was particularly brilliant.

overmydeadbody · 24/08/2011 18:43

I'd take it as an opportunity for you to discuss the plot together, while she is reading it.

I was disturbed by the graphic violent rape scenes in the story, but made sure I skipped as much of those bits as I could and focussed on the rest of the story.

proudfoot · 24/08/2011 18:57

YABVU

16 is old enough to read what you like without parents having a say and they are really good books so if she wants to read them I don't think it's fair to discourage her.

pigletmania · 24/08/2011 18:58

My goodness at 13 I used to read Jilly Cooper (Riders, Rivals etc) and Virginia Andrews.

MrsRobertDuvall · 24/08/2011 19:01

I don't think they're particularly graphic, and at 16 she should be able to handle a bit of sex and violence.
I think you're being very overprotective.

scrambedeggs · 24/08/2011 19:12

a 16 year old can sign up for the army and get married

you are being daft and trying to run his life unreasonably

Themumsnot · 24/08/2011 19:36

We are just back from holiday where my 14-year-old ran out of books to read and had to fall back on mine - Rona Jaffe's The Best of Everything and Jonathan Franzen's Freedom. Never occurred to me to stop her.

mrsravelstein · 24/08/2011 19:42

agony i remember being confused about the goldfish about age 13...

i grew up in a house of voracious readers, and the only books we were absolutely forbidden to go near were the de sade ones. can remember my english teacher being horrified when i was reading william burroughs at age 12.

squeakytoy · 24/08/2011 19:46

She will continue to be immature too if you carry on trying to be so ridiculously protective over her.

She is 16. If anyone had tried to stop me reading whatever I wanted to read at that age, I would have just looked at them as if they were insane.

My mother wasnt too thrilled with me reading Jackie Collins books when I was 13, but she didnt stop me.

gaaagh · 24/08/2011 19:46

I'm Shock that anyone would try to censor a 16 year old's reading material. As the others have said, eithe she'll give up/it'll go over her head/she'll get bored in which case there's no problem, or she'll like it and continue reading, and is mature enough to digest the content.

I'm glad I'm not alone in this reaction - phew!

NotQuiteSoDesperate · 24/08/2011 19:52

I am a school librarian and I have these books in our section for 16+. So they would definitely be borrowed by students who are the same age as your daughter. Any library would lend them to her, as far as I know.

WilsonFrickett · 24/08/2011 19:56

YABU.

However, I hated the first and third books (second was great) so I don't imagine she'll get past all the putting the coffees on and exceptionally long descriptions of the first few chapters. I do think some of it is very graphic, but that doesn't mean you can stop her reading it.

Matsikula · 24/08/2011 20:03

she's not a voracious reader, and she wants to read something - let her! I read loads of 'unsuitable' books as a kid (having whizzed through the entire children's section of the library pretty much before I went to secondary school). the only one that scarred me was one that was completely age-appropriate. It was about nuclear holocaust and kept me awake at night for months. However, had my mother attempted to discourage me from reading it, there's no way she could have stopped me.

JoJoMummy321 · 24/08/2011 20:13

I agree that you shouldn't try and stop her reading these books but totally understand your reluctance, especially with reference to the description of the very violent rape of Salander.

I think you should let her read them (as you probably can't really stop her) but perhaps keep an eye on where she is up to in the book? When/if she gets as far as that chapter you can keep an eye on her to check she's not upset by it.

Portofino · 24/08/2011 20:17

I had READ all sorts by the time I was 16. I'm with others though, that you have to persevere to get into those books, so she might well lose interest.

motherinferior · 24/08/2011 20:19

I think if she gets through them they will give her a very good political education so should be encouraged Grin