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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to stick his twunting hairdryer up his bottom?

239 replies

ChocolateTeacup · 23/08/2011 16:57

I apologise if the title offends.

I have a (not so D)H who is working very hard at the moment, Leaving the house around 10am back around 10pm

Last night I was feeling very drained from a tough day with the boys aged 3 & 4 as they had been whiny and clingy, I had earlier gone out to the site to deliver donuts and drinks to him and his friends who are working together on a big project. Came home made dinner, put his in the microwave ready for him and sent a message saying I was going to bed. He replied ok

Then he comes in storms in the bedroom ( I was asleep) going why the hell are you in bed?? where am I supposed to get dry after my shower (rather than dry himself with a towel, he spends around an hour with a hairdryer blasting him whilst he fiddles on his phone) I respond, I was asleep it is one room of the house, use a different one, he grabs the laptop slams the door storms off, comes back and says oh I suppose I will have to sort my dinner as well, i say yes its in the microwave

Shower goes on

Then off

Screw you its my damn house and if I want to relax in my bedroom I will.

At this point I move onto the sofa, not wanting to provoke a big row, figuring fine he is just stressed.

So he gets dry (hairdryer turned full whack) turns the hall light on wakes up the eldest boy, who is happy to see him and he him, bangs and crashes about getting his own dinner. We haven't spoken since.

We have been married 7 years and I still hate the noise of the stupid hairdryer, WIBU to respond to any further rubbish with its insertation? There is another hairdryer that lives in the study, so its not as if I was suggesting he didn't use the stupid thing

OP posts:
BlackadderWentForthToMultiply · 24/08/2011 13:28

i love the word twunting and also the term namby pamby Grin

nocake · 24/08/2011 13:49

I will do my best to not point and laugh at ChocolateTeacup's DH Grin

And give a sensible answer... he may be tired and stressed after a long day at work but that is not a reason to wake you up, shout at you and behave like a petulant toddler. I would be demanding an apology.

The hairdryer issue (snigger) is a separate problem. It sounds like he has some sort of obsessive disorder related to cleanliness. Unless his job is particularly messy he doesn't need to shower twice a day and certainly not for 15 minutes. He should also be using a towel to dry himself, like a normal person.

charlienotcharlotte · 24/08/2011 14:06

Fetchez - no he hasn't ... he only does it to wind me up. I've taken to leaving only the dirty muslin in the buggy so that when he does it he gets vomitty milk in his hair Grin

scrambedeggs · 24/08/2011 14:22

I couldn't be with a man like that, I just couldn't. The momumental selfishness of it would have me calling time at day one...

this ^^

plus what type of man dries himself with a hairdryer ffs Grin

scrambedeggs · 24/08/2011 14:23

So he uses a hairdryer to dry himself after a shower....so. fucking. what?!

because. its. not. normal. behaviour.

Spuddybean · 24/08/2011 15:30

wow - i have just read this thread laughing. Sorry OP. Yes, he was rude and selfish but drying your whole body for 2 hours a day!!! Shock

How does he have 2 hours to spare to do that? surely he would be dry within 10 mins and then is just enjoying the sensation of hot air on his skin? And then not to be able to dry if he can't do it, with a towel like us mortals? What does he do if you go swimming - stand under the hand dryer?

My mind is very much boggling - i obviously lead a very sheltered life.

I also read the OP as just drying his hair and the hour part as exaggeration as that's what it feels like ate 10pm. It wasn't till i started reading the threads i realised. Smile

HeifferunderConstruction · 24/08/2011 15:36

:O

Have you asked him why he was in such a bad mood??

sincitylover · 24/08/2011 18:05

my exh used to dry his bits with a hairdryer always used to make me laugh and yes he does have cleanliness/OCD issues.

He also used to panic if we were going away somewhere about whether or not there would be a hairdryer there (also a washing machine) - actually it's only just ocurred to me that the anxiety could have been around drying his bits rather than his very short hair. I used to tease him about it because otherwise I would have gone mad. That's why he is an ex!!

FWIW I had much longer hair and yet it doesn't bother me if there is or isn't a hairdryer at a hotel/holiday apartment.

I think there might be a market for a portable dryer specifically for those intimate areas Grin

AnyFuleKno · 24/08/2011 18:12

I told DH and he said he thinks it's a wanking thing Confused

ChocolateTeacup · 24/08/2011 19:04

A wanking thing? lovely :S

He did apologise, apparently they didnt get a chunk finished which made his mood bad :(

He has two hours because he just makes sure he works around having plenty of time to dry, he doesn't go swimming and always takes the thing on holiday

He won't give it up, in fact I think he might combust if he had to go without one, we even have to have a spare in the cupboard

I still hate it though

OP posts:
ChocolateTeacup · 24/08/2011 19:05

I wish an hour was an exaggeration, it would be so nice to just get and and go out not hang about while he faffs

OP posts:
VaginaPuddleduck · 24/08/2011 19:21

Have you pointed out to him that if he didn't spend an hour drying himself in the morning he could get to work before ten and therefore wouldn't have to finish so late in the evening?

Spuddybean · 24/08/2011 19:28

so he actually changes his lifestyle to fit in with drying himself? and do you all change yours to fit in too?

So if you were on holiday or wanted to do something spontaneous he couldn't just towel off and pull on some jeans?

ChocolateTeacup · 24/08/2011 19:30

Definitely not :( Spuddybean

Yas, VaginaPuddleDuck, its his own company so he can choose his working hours to a certain extent, he just likes lazy mornings

OP posts:
carlywurly · 24/08/2011 19:34

Ow, I am hurting from laughing at the image of him doing this. And I consider myself open minded but wholeheartedly agree with those who say it's weird for an adult male to do this. Every single day. It just is.

I'm no scientist, but surely it doesn't take an hour of hairdrying to get someone dry. I've got relatively thick hair (on my head!) which only takes a maximum of 15-20 mins to dry. He's getting some other kind of kick from doing this. I bet your electricity bill is eye watering.

On a serious note, the selfishness and rudeness is definitely not on needs to be tackled. So to speak.

VaginaPuddleduck · 24/08/2011 19:35

Are you happy in this relationship generally chocolateteacup?

VaginaPuddleduck · 24/08/2011 19:37

Carly is right - it can't take him that long to get dry. Our en suite is being refurbished at the moment and we are showeing in the main bathroom. A couple of times I've forgotten to switch my towel into that room and have literally stood in the bath with the shower off for a minute and dried enough to not need a towel really. Granted, that's in summer, but he's doing this right now, in summer, as we speak.

I think it IS strange. It's not about being dry.

Spuddybean · 24/08/2011 19:42

have you asked him if he can stop it? Just to see if he can. If he gets very angry, refuses or can't he may have some very weird psychological problem.

It sounds like a compulsion rather than a habit and if he gets angry that he cant do it, that often means he is relying on it for more than simple drying. (like people who say they can give something up if they really wanted but just don't want to)

What if he had to go to hospital? how would he cope? have you ever stayed at someone's house? (i'd be cross if a guests spent 2 hours a day of hairdrying time/electricity).

Hasn't he ever taken the children to the pool/beach?

Flisspaps · 24/08/2011 19:48

Take the fuses out of both. Then feign surprise at them both being broken, stick both up his arse, and tell him that if he ever behaves like that to you again, the hairdryers (with the fuses back in) will be joining him in the bath.

FlyMeToTheMooncup · 24/08/2011 19:59
Shock

FWIW I don't think it's crazy to dry oneself with a hairdryer. But 2 hours a day? And freaking out when access to said hairdryer is restricted? Missing out on family time when he's already out at work for 12hrs? Yeah, that's crazy IMO.

I did snigger at ACT's "As he changes direction like a chicken being basted on a spit" though :o

FlyMeToTheMooncup · 24/08/2011 20:01

"The problem is his rudeness....fuck the hairdryer"

Yes, he probably does. Maybe that's why it takes an hour?

ShoutyHamster · 24/08/2011 20:13

But... but... an HOUR? To get dry? When it takes about two and a half minutes with a towel?

He does need help I think. It sounds like a complete compulsion - no normal person would look at the time that process takes and think that that was reasonable or desirable. That's weeks, months of his life wasted. On drying himself veeery, veeery slooowly. That's before you even get to the fact that it has to be with a hairdryer.

Don't even get me started on how I'd feel to have a partner who thought that that was a reasonable way to spend two hours a day when there are children, jobs, housework etc. to be got on with. In that respect, it's utterly selfish and insulting and I wouldn't indulge it.

Catsmamma · 24/08/2011 20:16

he.is.weird.

and rude!

BUT have you thought to tell him that if he stopped buggering about with his phone whilst drying himself in this ostentatiously self indulgent manner he'd get done in half the time!

TWAT!

TheCrackFox · 24/08/2011 20:19

Dh doesn't even own a brush let alone a hairdryer.

The hairdryer thing (14hrs a week, blimey) is weird but the rudeness is not acceptable.

sue52 · 24/08/2011 20:26

14 hours worth of electricity is not very eco friendly. I'd be miffed about the energy bills as well as the rest.