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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's not acceptable to use this term? (warning: contains horrible word and also reference to Facebook)

97 replies

TidyDancer · 20/08/2011 19:34

"Watching Big Brother, just to see what flids have gone in" is the status update of someone I know on Facebook.

Has that horrid word somehow recently become okay? I'm not one to regulate the vocabulary of another, but come on! I'm clinging to the fact that she may not know what it means, but that's almost as bad in itself. Is disablist language somehow acceptable where racist language isn't?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 20/08/2011 19:36

Of course it's not acceptable but it doesn't stop people using words like that sadly.

Panzee · 20/08/2011 19:36

We always used this word as children. I was a very grown adult before I found out what it meant. Blush :( Maybe this is the same?

HeIsSpartacus · 20/08/2011 19:39

No it's not. How old is the person using it? Not excusing them but they not be aware where such a horrible word originates from and may appreciate being told. Possibly?

HeidiHole · 20/08/2011 19:39

sorry don't know what it means and never heard it before...

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/08/2011 19:39

This came up on another thread recently (grafitti). How old is the person? I'm 40ish and it was term regularly used on the 70's/80s, but I wouldn't be surprised if people who are a fair bit younger have no idea that it refers to Thalidomide victims, mush in the same way that some other terms have lost their original meaning.

People shouldn't really use terms they don't understand, and are prepared to standby what they are saying (as I regularly tell my DCs when they flirt with swearing and "rude words")

YANBU

PrincessScrumpy · 20/08/2011 19:40

Friends of mine use it to mean idiot - ie, if someone goes to kick a football and misses, he is a complete flid. Only ever heard male friends use it but I must admit I thought it was a made-up name. I'm 29 and don't know what it means (mind you, I don't think I'm missing out).

Original poster
TidyDancer · 20/08/2011 19:41

She's 23. So yes, I guess she may not know how bad the term is, but I'm 27 and I know. Age shouldn't really be an excuse. If you don't know what words mean, don't use them as insults.

Do you think I should comment? I wonder what good it would do if someone is willing to use that word anyway.

OP posts:
PrincessScrumpy · 20/08/2011 19:42

Thanks getAway your reply came up after I pressed enter. I now know what it means - still won't be using it.

HeidiHole · 20/08/2011 19:42

ah thalidomide... Ok... I'm only 25 next month so not 'of my generation' :o

Agree that is not really an acceptable term to use at all. Possibly the person has heard it as an insult but doesn't know what it MEANS IFKWIM

HeidiHole · 20/08/2011 19:43

sorry cross posting all over the place! Agree if you don't know the meaning don't use it.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/08/2011 19:43

Princess - it is a shortening of Thalidomide - the drug given to women in the early 60s for moring-sickness which resulted in birth defects like missing or shortened limbs.

LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 19:44

They don't know what it means- I'd explain it. If they take offence, delete them

susiedaisy · 20/08/2011 19:44

Never heard it until now

worraliberty · 20/08/2011 19:44

Do you think I should comment? I wonder what good it would do if someone is willing to use that word anyway

But you've just accepted that she might not know how bad the word is or what it means?

Crosshair · 20/08/2011 19:46

First time I've heard it.

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 20/08/2011 19:46

My parents always used to use the term 'flid spaces' instead of disabled spaces.
Example:
Mum to dad "oh just park in a flid space i'll only be a minute"
That phrase soon changed once my mum became disabled.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 20/08/2011 19:47

If you do know the meaning, point it out to the uninformed so that they have the option of behaving like decent humans.
I know what it means, my mum was offered it as a cure for her dreadful morning sickness. Being a chemist, she decided against it.
Thanks mum.

Original poster
TidyDancer · 20/08/2011 19:49

Okay I may say something.

Yes, I do accept there is a possibility that she might not know the meaning, but she's still willing to use an insulting word without knowing what it means, and that to me suggests that she's going to be less than receptive to hearing the true meaning of it.

It just makes me very sad to think of the term being thrown about so casually.

OP posts:
GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/08/2011 19:51

It is sad, but give her a chance.

I don't know what to advise re: FB, because I hate it

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/08/2011 19:52

PS

Andrewofgg · 20/08/2011 19:56

Holy shit. Never heard the word and horrified to hear how it originated.

I suppose one day when all the victims of thalidomide are dead the word, if it still exists, will cease to be offensive. One day there will be people who will come across the N-word in books such as Huckleberry Finn and have no idea that it was once just about the most abominable word in the language.

MeconiumHappens · 20/08/2011 19:59

I bet they have NO idea what it means. I have stumbles across several people who don't, and by spelling it like that makes me think prob the case with them too. I'd be tempted to comment and ask them if they know what it means.

LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 21:10

But Op the woman in question probably thinks she does know what it means. How often do you really question a word you have always used?

I have always used moron, never realised what it really meant until mumsnet because I just thought it meant stupid.

It's like if you suddenly found out that the word cat actually means a 4 legged creature that barks.

Graciescotland · 20/08/2011 21:13

First time I've heard it,maybe they don't know what it means?

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 20/08/2011 21:32

OP, do you want the girl to have the chance to understand why flid is inappropriate, or would you just rather catsbumface?
She's unlikely to be telepathic, so unless someone says 'oi, call them twats or wankers or Zceleb waste-of-a-good-spacers instead' she won't know.