Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To return to the UK to give birth to my second child so that all my children have equal opportunities

89 replies

supergrover · 19/08/2011 12:25

I am currently living in the US and am pregnant with my 2nd child who is due to be born here and will therefore be a US citizen, have a US passport and be able to live and work in the US without any need for a visa in the future.

My issue is that my older daughter was born in the UK and will only have British citizenship.

I just feel that it seems so unfair that I am giving my second child so much more opportunities than my first and am wondering if I should return to the UK to give birth to prevent any resentment / jealousy issues in the future.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 19/08/2011 12:26

I think you are really!

Nothing is ever exactly the same for all our dc

SheCutOffTheirTails · 19/08/2011 12:27

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

knittedbreast · 19/08/2011 12:28

put your eldest on dual citizenship.

GypsyMoth · 19/08/2011 12:30

Actually, you have chosen to live in US, why should the UK pick up the bill for this passport reason?

redexpat · 19/08/2011 12:30

You might be classed as a health tourist, even though you're British and have to pay for all treatment. Surely there's a citizenship thing for children who are growing up in the States? And surely you can just register with the embassy and your youngest will also be british?

stealthsquiggle · 19/08/2011 12:31

So in order not to deprive your elder DD you want to deprive the younger child Confused.

I am sure there are ways and means for your DD to get US residency if she is growing up there.

I don't think you are being terribly logical about this (blame the hormones).

HairyGrotter · 19/08/2011 12:31

I have dual citizenship, UK and US as my mother is American. I was born in the UK

Are either parents American?

CRIKRI · 19/08/2011 12:31

I've known families that have travelled quite a bit and had children in a range of countries, all with different entitlements to residency and nationality. I've never once heard of this being a source of conflict between siblings.

Depending on how long you've lived outside the UK, it may be that you are no longer entitled to some health and social benefits in the UK due to the habitual residency test. It would be worth looking into that to ensure you can make up any additional costs if they arise. Also, depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy, airlines may not take you as a passenger and/or your insurance may not cover you if anything happens when you fly.

The best option is probably to have the baby where you feel most comfortable and where you intend to live for the foreseeable future.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 19/08/2011 12:31

YABU!!!!! Our NHS is stretched enough - why should we pay for your medical care!

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 19/08/2011 12:32

Why would they be jealous?

InMyPrime · 19/08/2011 12:33

I don't think US citizenship is that much of an enormous privilege really and in 20 years' time it will undoubtedly be even less so. It gives your younger DC the chance to live and work in the US without hassle but how do you know s/he will want to? Would you be immensely concerned if one of your DCs had e.g. Belgian citizenship and the other UK citizenship?

hocuspontas · 19/08/2011 12:36

Do we really think anyone could be so daft as to even consider this?

ShoutyHamster · 19/08/2011 12:36

I don't see that, really.

If you end up in an industry where it would be a great advantage to you to work in the US then you would most probably be able to end up doing so anyway through international companies. Not sure whether being a dual citizen is such an advantage there, i.e. an advantage on your CV.

If you're just talking about being able to go to the US and have the right to do a lower-skilled job, as a citizen, then I would think you'd be better off in the UK with attendant health provision etc. - I would certainly not see being eligible to just go and work in that country as an amazing advantage.

With social provision being so much better here, I'd see the other way around as maybe being an advantage-? - but both your children will of course have UK citizenship.

GingerWrath · 19/08/2011 12:37

Another dual national here, handy to have 2 passports, my Dsis lives over here on a long term visa as she is a US Citizen and it'll cost her ££££ to get her British passport even though she has lived and worked here for 26 years.

Original poster
supergrover · 19/08/2011 12:37

We are both British. Our older daughter is not eligible for dual nationality. We are here on temporary work visas and will be returning to the UK probably after 3 years which won't be long enough for us to naturalise as you need a green card as well as 5 years residency.

You are right, I am probably being very hormonal here. I just remember how difficult it was to obtain a visa and think that I would be a tad peeved if my younger sister had just been able to swan off without having to jump through all the hoops I did!

OP posts:
MmeLindor. · 19/08/2011 12:39

You are overthinking this.

Why deprive both your children of the opportunity to have US citizenship in case your elder daughter is upset by it.

What about your younger daughter? Would she not be upset that you denied her the chance?

I am going to put this one down to pregnancy hormones.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and don't worry about it.

foreverwino · 19/08/2011 12:39

Doesnt us citizenship make it difficult to travel to some countries?

Id choose uk every time.

MmeLindor. · 19/08/2011 12:40

Oh, and a UK passport may be of more use to your DD1 - much easier to work in EU for instance with a UK passport than a US one.

Swings and roundabouts, innit.

overmydeadbody · 19/08/2011 12:41

You are over-thinking this.

Have your baby in the US. Siblings don't get jealous over such things, especially as it's all teoretical anyway, your DCs may never want to go to the US.

Iteotwawki · 19/08/2011 12:42

Your older daughter may well be relieved that she doesn't have to fill out US tax returns yearly! Which your younger daughter, as a US citizen, may be required to do even when no longer living there.

HairyGrotter · 19/08/2011 12:43

The only time I've found my dual nationality a benefit is when being interviewed for companies with connections to the US, which in turn would save them time, hassle and money if I were to be sent over there to work, otherwise, it has very little influence.

californiaburrito · 19/08/2011 12:44

But remember, technically, your younger child will be required to file tax returns (and potentially pay US income tax on her earnings) and report any bank accounts with balances of $10,000 to the Dept. of the Treasury.

See, it's not so great is it?

paddyclamp · 19/08/2011 12:44

I'm a dual citizen...born in US to UK parents..have spent most of my life in the UK though

Strangely enough i have never returned to the US to work as in many ways i know what side my bread is buttered on by working in the UK...better maternity leave rights for starters...but it is nice knowing that i have the chance to go if i decide to do so

Despite having been here so long i still have to complete a US tax return!!

Is there no way of extending your stay in the US? .... i agree with mmelindor i think you are maybe being a little hormonal

californiaburrito · 19/08/2011 12:45

whoops, x-post!

acatcalledbob · 19/08/2011 12:46

Didn't realise a US birth meant automatic citizenship and passport.... Wish it did in Singapore as DD2 was born here.

Can't understand why you would travel all the way back to the UK to give birth in an overstretched system in order to deprive your child of something like that.

Btw, I know a few long-term expats who have returned to the UK and either had babies or hospital stays on the NHS and not paid a penny..... no-one seems to check.