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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 'How are you going to feed your baby?' is a stupid question??

89 replies

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 18/08/2011 17:54

I am pg with DC4 so I should be used to this question by now!

But the first time I was asked this with DC1 (I was 18) I was stumped, there was a long pause before the MW said 'breast or bottle?'.

'Oh' I said 'Breast, of course' as I had only ever known breastfeeding within my own (quite large) family, and I had seen people express to bottle feed too. I had never realised it was a choice between breast or bottle. How sheltered I was!

Has anyone else ever thought of it this way? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 18/08/2011 17:57

It's not really a stupid question, it's a reasonably valid one....though I can understand why it confused you at first!

Shakirasma · 18/08/2011 18:03

Yabu. It's a perfectly reasonable question.

Whilst you had only been exposed to bf, most of the women the midwives see, have a full understanding of the feeding choices available to them

GypsyMoth · 18/08/2011 18:22

Yabu

There is a choice, so a question is asked!

worraliberty · 18/08/2011 18:25

Of course it's not a stupid question?

Breast or bottle....errrr what's stupid about that? Confused

keepingupwiththejoneses · 18/08/2011 18:26

I understand what you mean, I wasn't even asked this at 17 with ds1, the mw just presumed I would bottle feed, which I didn't, she was astonished and said I was the first young mum in the 10 years she had been a mw she had seen bf their baby, which I thought was quite sad.

MeconiumHappens · 18/08/2011 18:29

YABU.
You're are the exception from the rule, most of society are used to generations of bottle feeders, making it a valid question. Very few people would be bamboozled, as you were, at this question. More's the shame :(

MeconiumHappens · 18/08/2011 18:29

you are your ara ar you are are sorry

worraliberty · 18/08/2011 18:31

But it's a valid question anyway no matter what society is used to.

While there's a choice...the question is valid.

If the OP was in a 3rd world country, the question would be a bit twattish.

DeSelby · 18/08/2011 18:34

I was asked a few times if I was feeding my baby, which had me stumped (well, yes!) until I realised they meant was I breastfeeding my baby. As it happens I was, but surely most babies are fed, whatever the method!

pigletmania · 18/08/2011 18:34

Its not a silly question, not everyone breastfeeds!

Shutupanddrive · 18/08/2011 18:35

Yabu

PorkChopSter · 18/08/2011 18:54

It's more unreasonable to be asked "will you be feeding your baby" Hmm

MissPenteuth · 18/08/2011 18:59

YANBU to feel that breastfeeding is the natural path for you. But it is a choice, and some women choose bottle feeding. What would be stupid is if the midwife were to assume one way or the other, rather than asking. So YABU to think it's a stupid question.

CokeFan · 18/08/2011 19:11

I was a bit surprised to be asked "have you thought about how you will be feeding your baby?" at the booking in appt (approx 8 weeks pg). No, I hadn't thought about it, I was still getting used to the idea that I was actually going to have a baby. I know they have to discuss it with you, but it seemed a bit... Early? It's not like you can start there and then and I didn't even have to decide where I was giving birth until much later on.

TrillianAstra · 18/08/2011 19:12

It's a perfectly reasonable question from a HV or midwife.

From anyone else - none of their business.

backwardpossom · 18/08/2011 19:13

I always thought "are you feeding him/her yourself" was a stupid question. Um, yes, I don't pass him off to strangers while necking a coffee in Starbucks.

Well, not often anyway.

reallytired · 18/08/2011 19:14

YABU

Even if no one in your family has chosen to bottlefeed surely you aren't so sheltered not to know of the existance of bottlefeeding.

NoTeaForMe · 18/08/2011 19:15

I don't think that is a stupid question as there are two ways of feeding. I hated the "will you be feeding your baby" question myself. I felt like saying"no, I thought I'd let her starve" just to see what the reaction would be! Then when I ended breastfeeding earlier than originally planned due to problems people said "are you not feeding her now" ..... Of course I fucking am, it's just I'm using a bottle of formula instead! Idiots!!!

DilysPrice · 18/08/2011 19:21

My older relatives always asked "are you feeding her yourself?" but that's because they didn't want to say b**t in public.

bibbitybobbityhat · 18/08/2011 19:21

Of course yabu. Did you not realise that lots of people feed their babies formula? What planet do you live on? Well, okay, maybe you had quite narrow experience at 18 (although I don't actually believe you had never seen a baby being bottlefed by that age) - but now you are on dc4 I should have thought you would be a little better informed.

Original poster
RebelFromTheWaistDown · 18/08/2011 19:22

reallytired - 3 DCs later and 4th one on way I am most certainly not that sheltered to not know the existence of bottle-feeding! I have so many people try to push it on to me over the years!

First pregnancy at age 18 was a different story...

OP posts:
pointydog · 18/08/2011 19:29

Of course yabu. It's a perfectly sensible question and even you - strangely in the dark about these things - were able to give the right answer.

pointydog · 18/08/2011 19:30

I'm not sure what you mean. You didn't know there was a choice? But you knew formula existed?

bibbitybobbityhat · 18/08/2011 19:32

I think its a way for op to let us all know she has breastfed 3 coming up to 4 children, even the first one she had when she was 18.

I think.

itisnearlysummer · 18/08/2011 19:54

I think I may had said this on here before, but I wasn't asked how I was going to feed mine.

DS was taken straight to scbu and no one mentioned feeding. In fact no one said much of anything. Whilst I'd always assumed that I was, DS was given formula for 2 days before I asked them when I could start bf him. They looked at me like I had no idea what I was talking about and the response was "you do realise you'll have to get up in the night don't you?" Hmm

Then I had no support in doing it and received lots of funny looks. It was lucky I had no problems. I doubt I would have stuck at it being made to feel like I was a freak for doing it.

So I would have quite liked to have been asked. At least then I would have felt like I had a choice!

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