AIBU to think a 14 month sentence for passing on herpes is thin end of wedge?

[Cheria]

This article has really annoyed me. Herpes is a common virus. Her ex- boyfriend denied passing it on, and lied so is a twunt, of course, but jailing him for 14 months?

With all the STDs tehre are now, some of which are really serious, is this not the thin end of the wedge? Herpes, for me, is a nuisance, but there is no way I would want the person who gave it me to go to jail. It's not AIDS FFS.

Suing someone over this is just opening the way for so many revenge cases. It's worrying that the judicial system is wasting time on this. Disclaimer: if he had knowingly infected her with AIDS it would be a different story.

(That is, lesions that are neither in the process of healing nor recurrent lesions)

I don't think anyone is stigmitising herpes. Regardless of how many people have it, it does not distract from th point that at best it is an uncomfortable nuisance. A bruised cheek might also fall into the category of "uncomfortable nuisance" but we don't as a rule tolerate men inflicting those on their partners.

I think that is a really good point QOD if he had physicaly caused the pain we wouldn't be having this debate would we? And she has to deal it with all her life now.

Am I corrct in my understanding that the sexual health councelling once diagnosed with herpes, is one of not neccesary to tell partners unless there is an out break and using condoms do not protect against herpes? just courios as to those who have been diagnosed as a friend of mine was surprised whne diagnosed that the GU nurse just told her it was the cold sore virus gave her some tablets and informed her that unless she had any leission thier is no need to inform new partners as she may never have another out break, she did within say a month and was given anti virals with no further caution or tests etc.

OP - totally agree with you that 14 months is out of order.

However, I am obviously biased as I posted on this topic about a month ago in "Relationships". Some kind soul has bumped the thread in light of todays news. I'll probably pop by and give it an update!

In summary:

• I was given herpes (HSV1, genitally) and was pretty pissed off and disgusted
• I debated about telling any future partners so I posted on the Relationship board here
• Some of the ignorance and misinformation posted on my thread was incredible
• However I had some lovely supportive PM's

I don't think the guy concerned should have been sentenced to 14 months. It's ludicrous.

And comparing herpes to Aids or HIV is laughable.

How many of you MN's were tested for Group B Strep when you were pregnant? How many of those tests came back positive? Another bloody virus you can have NO idea you are a carrier off but it can, in rare cases, affect a new-born child....as can herpes.

There's a touch of hysteria in the air.

Some of you need to get a grip.

So is this woman not responsible for her own sexual health??
She should have used or insisted he used protection , end of.

Condoms don't protect against herpes.

I don't think anyone is stigmitising herpes. Regardless of how many people have it, it does not distract from th point that at best it is an uncomfortable nuisance. A bruised cheek might also fall into the category of "uncomfortable nuisance" but we don't as a rule tolerate men inflicting those on their partners.

I think that is a really good point QOD if he had physicaly caused the pain we wouldn't be having this debate would we? And she has to deal it with all her life now.

And if he had deliberately or otherwise given her a coldsore on the face would you still be advocating a jail sentence? Where do you draw the line?

I think that is the point that a lot of us are trying to make is that - the only reason she and a lot of you are worked up is because it is on her fanny not her face and therefore there is a big stigma attached - ironically because of the sort of misinformation that I've read on here today.

Exactly what I was going to say Cheria (before I typed a very long-winded reply and got logged out before I could post it)!

I contracted it from ex-b/f with a small spot/scrape well under his lower lip. If I'd have thought for one minute that it was a coldsore, I wouldn't have engaged in oral sex with him.

But I did. And it was herpes. There's no 100% protection against any STD.

The ex-b/f was in total denial about giving me herpes. He said his ex-wife "had a smear test 6 months ago and was totally clear or everything". I had to point out that smear tests are to detect abnormal cervical cells, not to test for STD's.

Poor boy....he was never the sharpest knife in the box.

Coldsore on the lip, which as I understand it cannot be transferred on the individual to the genitals does not cause the difficulties that a Coldsore does, so location aside they are still different diseases. deliberately and knowingly transmitting any disease that causes ill effects is a disgusting thing to do. Where that disease causes life l

Bloody iPhone posted too soon: last sentence should read "where that disease causes life long pain/inconvenience/suffering damn right the individual who caused that should be held accountable"

talesoftheunexpected what on earth does step b have to do with the discussion? We're quite clearly talking about deliberate infection of one partner by another here.

Sorry in the first of those three posts it should have said: Does not cause the difficulties that herpes does

Queenofdenial, do you mean that a coldsore cannot be transferred to another person's genitals?

QOD, I was trying to make a point. Perhaps not very well but ....

Some people have herpes and don't know it.
Some people have Strep B and they don't know it.
Some people on here were doing the whole "think of the childrens eyes/brains, etc" thing. Both herpes and Strep B can damage newborns.

Some people think having any kind of virus is disgusting.

Back to the opening post.

Yes, he was out of order to knowingly infect her. But the jail term is over the top.

TheQueenofDenial - the lifelong pain/inconvenience/suffering you is a complete over dramatisation except in very rare cases which can happen with either type. That aside both types are exactly the same regardless of where you have the virus. The only thing that differenciates them is the misinformation and stigma that people like you help to spread.

I stated the possible complications of 'regular' herpes in an earlier post- which was ignored...

leverkusen no that is not what I mean an idividual cannot pass a coldsore from their own mouth to their own genitals.

This thread is nothing to do with people thinking a disease is disgusting and everything to do with right minded people being disgusted with the deliberate infection of individuals.

myob do you seriously not consider your infection to at least be an "inconvenience"?

Yes I consider it an inconvenience, but not lifelong pain/inconvenience/suffering and no more so than I would find a facial coldsore. The only difference is the stigma attached to GH.

And for what I agree of course that deliberate infection of any kind is wrong. What I object to is the misinformation that ill-informed individuals insist on peddling. That is what causes the stigma and makes people with GH so unhappy, not the virus itself.

Sorry queen didn't read your post properly.

The man in the case in question is completely in the wrong because he deliberately caused harm to his girlfriend.

Thank you OP, I really was not aware of that (accept of course through orally transferred herpes)

I am standing in the ignorant corner , will continue to read thread with interest and also educate myself a bit more about STDs.

I still do not think the guy should have been imprisoned.
I am a normal, well educated (yeah go figure) older generation , should know better but obviously don't, person, as this young man could have been.
We only have the womans rather bitter remarks about her ex, I still feel that everyone should take responsibility for their own sexual health, fuck believeing someone when they say "im ok" and if people do get herpes regardless of taking every precaution then as much as it sucks big time its hardly fair imprisoning the person who infected you. is it?

If he deliberately infected her then yes thats a different scenario but Im reading it as only what "she says" or have I missed something .

Either way, this is another reason I like MN..... never too old to aknowledge I dont know and happy to learn and get rid of the myths

What a lovely refreshing attitude fittodrop

FFS fit2drop we don't only have the ("bitter" - nice ) woman's word - he pleaded guilty to deliberately infecting her.- that means he accepted that he infected her I am just at how many posters think that is ok and/or excusable.

The QueeOfDenial , did you not see the bit where I wrote
If he deliberately infected her then yes thats a different scenario but Im reading it as only what "she says" or have I missed something

so no need for your FFS theres a love, cos I agree :)

Thank you myob, a nice refreshing response from you too

Yes I read your "if it was deliberate" comment. He pleaded guilty so how on earth are you reading it as we only have the word of a bitter ex. Seems like my FFS was entirely reasonable in the circumstances