AIBU to think a 14 month sentence for passing on herpes is thin end of wedge?

[Cheria]

This article has really annoyed me. Herpes is a common virus. Her ex- boyfriend denied passing it on, and lied so is a twunt, of course, but jailing him for 14 months?

With all the STDs tehre are now, some of which are really serious, is this not the thin end of the wedge? Herpes, for me, is a nuisance, but there is no way I would want the person who gave it me to go to jail. It's not AIDS FFS.

Suing someone over this is just opening the way for so many revenge cases. It's worrying that the judicial system is wasting time on this. Disclaimer: if he had knowingly infected her with AIDS it would be a different story.

I would hope I could find someone but I would be surprised if most men did not want to be with someone with herpies

Btw I am married and only had 3 partners and I made all 3 go to the clinc before we did the deed I am just funny like that

Why is the location of the virus important? No on is disgusted by people who get coldsores are they. But those of us to carry the virus elsewhere on our bodies are somehow expected not to have sex!!

Herpes carries an awful stigma because people are so ill informed and ignorant about it. That's not my problem if you're too thick to find out facts, it's yours.

To. Be honest I mainly find the truth comes out when ones angry or drunk

Maypole at the clinic they do not test you for herpes unless you have symptoms of an outbreak.

maypole1 -
I have had it for 10 years and have had many fit /rich/great men still hot for me
I have never had a refusal yet ! Most get its managable and really not an issue or a threat.
I guess a positive herpes sufferer is still more attractive than someone who is bitter and vengeful.....

Leverkusen sorry but I am not think because I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who has a STD

Their are many people who would not date a disabled person dose not make someone think its just preference

For me knowing I could possibly catch something every time I had sex wouldn't exactly help me relax

Each to tier own

Ah maypole I wasn't calling you thick.

But looking at your post....

Sorry this is not a personal thing I sure their are plenty who would date someone with HIV but if you don't see that for someone people they wouldn't want to risk their own Health however small he risk then I think your in dream land

And that dose not make someone bad

Leverkusen oh what ever you want to start name calling do you

Maypole1, I too insist on a screen for new partners. I caught HSV1 from a long term (9year) relationship with a man who gets coldsores. In thhe time we were together he had 2 outbreaks and I asked him not to engage in oral sex if he had a tingle or whatever it is you get before a coldsore. I got herpes after 7 years, he hasnt had a coldsore for over 5 years.

No

You have no control as to wtherther you sleep with someone with an STI, as much as you say you don't want to- it's not something you can control. You can ask them to go to the clinic but they will not be tested for HSV and nor, I believe, for HPV.

whether*

I don't think anyone is stigmitising herpes. Regardless of how many people have it, it does not distract from th point that at best it is an uncomfortable nuisance. A bruised cheek might also fall into the category of "uncomfortable nuisance" but we don't as a rule tolerate men inflicting those on their partners.

And FFS "he may have been embarassed". Any man who would rather deliberately risk his partners health because he "wants sex" and can't face a discussion is a twat of the highest order. Absolutely disgusting

Can I just point out that HSV1 and HSV2 are no longer site specific. You can get HSV1 genitally and HSV2 orally. They are now almost interchangeable. And diagnosing which one you carry (if indeed you carry only one) is not something done in an average lab.

maypole1 - maybe its an intelligence thing - the brighter the person the more likely they are to understand that its not risking their health .
or maybe you've never had the "oh my god I want to be with you no matter what " feeling in your life - it overcomes everything - including STDs. Sad that you dont get that people can feel like that, and those that cant really arent worth the effort !

I just want to point out that there is no such thing as 'us sufferers' who all see it the same way.

I am a sufferer. I will not be telling this under my normal name and I do feel a stigma. I am on this thread under my normal name (you can ask mnhq if you like) I just have no intention of standing up and being known for having herpes!

I got it from my (now) husband.

I am not ignorant or hysterical or any of the other things that have been chucked at people who happen to think what this man did was disgusting and that having herpes can affect your life. I simply think that it is a very shitty thing to do to someone - to have sex with them knowing that you have an std and even more shitty to do it with the intention of infecting them. I think he deserved a punishment.

How did she prove she did not have it before...?

YABU this won't make people with herpes look bad- it will make people who knowing give people herpes look bad. WHich will hopefully help cut down on the amount of people who get herpes.

Fuck the guy he deserves what he gets, I think 14 months for somethign you do to someone for life is pretty fucking lenient.

Do you really think he deserves no punishment? Aren't their website for people dating who have herpes? So the no one will want him argument is shit

Janinlondon - my local sexual health clinic diagnosed type one. I think that's quite normal.

I think putting someone inside for 14 months for this is creating a stigma, because he wouldn't have been put inside for giving her a coldsore on the mouth.

jan yes my down below is HSV1, normally associated with oral herpes, the spots themselves were tested in a lab. It was very painful I might add

IDO I am sorry you see it as a stigma, you must have a hard time dealing with that.

Yes what he did was not nice at all, but 14 months is opening the legal system up to all kids of revenge cases, and the fact she is obviously so bitter about it and selling her story to Closer reeeks of revenge taking.

Maypole i'd rather date someone with herpes than ignorant ill informed thick as a plank views like yours. As you were...

They only diagnose if you are having an outbreak. It is not part of a standard check up

He was accused of, was prosecuted for and pleaded guilty to Grevious Bodily Harm (quite correctly).
Under those terms, he could have received a Sentance of five years.

He got of lightly and with good behaviour, could be out in 7 months.

*quite correct, not correctly.

Eric - yes, it is possible. But you would have to have an active outbreak with non-healing or recurrent lesions and culture testing to differentiate between HSV1 and HSV2. Most labs are doing serologic assays, and most of those are not type specific. Mainly because there is no point really in identifying which one it is.