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Original poster

to think I should not be threatened with a ban for questioning the use of offensive language?

1000 replies

thefirstMrsDeVere · 16/08/2011 15:35

I am a member of a very heavily moderated website. Swearing is not allowed at all, threads are pulled regularly if people are mean to each other, not threads about threads are tolerated and you are not allowed to mention anything said before on the boards at all. All these things will result in deletion and warnings.

I have been a member for years (before mumsnet even). There was a particularly nasty thread that was allowed to go on for pages which ended with a woman referring to children with LDs as 'being tapped in the head'..

I started a seperate thread wanting to discuss the use of disabilist language on the site and asking why words like bitch, whore and piss were not allowed yet retard, mong and spaz were.

I was told that some people might think it was ok to use those words so they couldnt filter them out, it wouldnt be fair.

I continuned to question this in a firm but polite manner and have now discovered I have been sent a message telling me that my style of posting is offensive and I have been taken straight to a final warning!

Not that I give a toss, the site is crap. I guess I am taken aback that you can be pretty much threatened into silence if you dare question the mods on this HUGE and well known site.

Its an issue that means a lot to me. If it was a site on which everything went language wise I wouldnt have bothered. But on this prissy site where you cant say bugger - you can call something retarded or monged out with no bother.

I think its bollocks and makes me glad I have mumsnet to come and tell people to fuck off on. Grin

OP posts:
insanityscatching · 17/08/2011 08:12

I think the lack of a filter would be fine if ,when alerted to a post that contained an offensive term the mods deleted it and warned the poster. I have alerted mods to offensive posts, not one of the posts has been deleted and there has been no contact from the mods yet they jump in at really petty bitchiness and moderate posts.

Thumbwitch · 17/08/2011 08:13

Apparently it's ok because one of the pro-disablist words posters over there has relatives who are disabled and she doesn't find it offensive so nor should anyone else. Hmm

SoupDragon · 17/08/2011 08:15

Don't MNHQ usually come round and slap our wrists tor prodding the Huns?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2011 08:19

am going to stop posting there I think...as you can't cure stupid.

magicmummy1 · 17/08/2011 08:22

Yes, insanity. I stopped using NM because they consistently ignored reports of racism etc but jumped on people for much more petty stuff. It beggars belief that they ban common swear words but allow words such as "spaz". :(

Incidentally, I have never in my obviously sheltered life heard anyone use the term "mong". Do people really say this? Shock

Thumbwitch · 17/08/2011 08:22

Perhaps they agree with what people are doing, Soupy. But can't overtly say so, obviously. That would be like the headteachers joining in, wouldn't it? Wink

magicmummy1 · 17/08/2011 08:24

Benign neglect on the part of MNHQ, I reckon. :)

insanityscatching · 17/08/2011 08:26

I actually didn't realise such people existed in this day and age tbh. Thirty odd years ago when I was at school it was frowned on to use such terms so thought they had died a death.It's been an absolutely awful revelationSad

Willabywallaby · 17/08/2011 08:26

I went to college with a bloke who quite happily was nicknamed 'mong', a medical and dental school Blush. The only defence is it was 18 years ago.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 17/08/2011 08:26

Really, thumbwitch?

I bet this relative isn't her child, parent or other person really close to her who she loves so much that their pain hurts her like a knife through her heart and I bet this relative hasn't been mocked in the street, or surrounded by a group of people chanting awful words at them. I wonder if the relative has friends? I bet they are not isolated from the world.

she doesn't get it, does she? SHE doesn't find it offensive HAHAHAHA.

Why doesn't she call her disabled relatives (if they exist) these words and see if it hurts them. It is not if she is ok with it. How she feels about those words doesn't matter.

I can't believe she even put that forward as an argument.

It's like me saying, I dunno, I am white and I have a black in-law and I'm ok with the word 'nigger' so it's ok for the word to be used. It's not how someone who is NOT a member of the group that the word is about/means feels! It's how the people who ARE the group that the word is about/means feel!

(I am not ok with that word btw! Just want to make that clear!)

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 17/08/2011 08:28

She really said that, thumbwitch? Shock

would probably read better

So let's insert that, shall we Grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2011 08:28

OMG now someone is saying their friend has Thalidomide and SHE doesn't get offended by offensive terms and sucks it up, so so should we. Hmm

StrandedBear · 17/08/2011 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrandedBear · 17/08/2011 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2011 08:36

i love how the one claiming to be most PC is making jokes about "faggots" and "wanting 4 at once"

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2011 08:36

a la Jim Davidson

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 17/08/2011 08:39

I wasn't aware a person could have Thalidomide. You know, it being a drug and all... I thought a person had disabilities because of Thalidomide.

I'm not offended when people call me fat. So let's all go through the streets yelling FATSO at people. I'm ok with it so it's an ok word to use, right?

Thumbwitch · 17/08/2011 08:40

no, it's not her own child. I was trying to be fairly vague about it but what the heck - she was talking about cousins.

Thumbwitch · 17/08/2011 08:44

The thing is, it's so childish to insist these words are acceptable in any way - when I was about 8, "flid" (sorry) was an insult that was bandied around our playground. I doubt that most of us knew what it meant or where it came from, but we'd heard it from somewhere and knew it was insulting, so used it. Ditto, later, "mong" (again, sorry). Once the source of the word was revealed or discovered, most people stopped using it because they understood that it was a very unpleasant thing to mock people with those disabilities. That's what happens when you grow up. You gain empathy that you don't always have as a small child.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2011 08:45

Apologies TMB, I got the term wrong, I am the last person to want to be disablist

SoupDragon · 17/08/2011 08:45

presumably the friend affcted by Thalidomide would ba happy to be called a "Flid" Hmm I seem to recall that was the term used when I was a child, back in the dark ages.

SoupDragon · 17/08/2011 08:46

Exactly, Thumbwitch.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/08/2011 08:48

Thats what I was saying, but I got the term wrong. Quite strange to be pulled up which trying to fight disablism, seems like a whole lot of aggro for not achieving anything except getting flamed there and pulled up here...wasted energy.

SoupDragon · 17/08/2011 08:51

I didd't read it as you being pulled up, Fanjo. I assumed you'd repeated what she said and thus it was her terminology that was being commented on.

magicmummy1 · 17/08/2011 08:51

Have never heard of the term "flid" either. Blush

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