Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I think my Granny is going to die

29 replies

CRS · 16/08/2011 00:19

very soon. She is 94. She has had a fall tonight which left her unconscious and my grandad with sever lacerations to his hand - he tried to help her, knoocked a glass off the side and fell on it. Both hospitalised, Grandad likely coming home tomorrow, Granny maybe never again - she is very frail and has a head injury which seems to have left her very confused - she thinks my mum is HER mum and keeps asking after "little CRS - are you still breastfeeding, L?" . I am 34. AIBU to want this former respected doctor who has been blind for a year, and cannot leave her bed without accident (although she keeps trying), who is doubly incontinent but will only let my mum clean her up. to die now with dignity?

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 16/08/2011 00:25

Hi crs, so sorry for you and your family, dont really know what else to say but wanted to give you a , what an awful situationyou and your family, dont really know what else to say but wanted to give you a , what an awful situation

Tiredmumno1 · 16/08/2011 00:25

Excuse my phone

reelingintheyears · 16/08/2011 00:28

Bless you...and your Granny and Grandad.

yanbu.

blackeyedsusan · 16/08/2011 00:28

Sad she will go when she is ready, no-one really knows when that will be. whenever it is it will be upsetting for all, though someitmes also a relief when a loved one is in pain. I hope that you have someone who can be with you or you can be with your family. it must be really worrying for you. sorry you are having to go through this.

DogsBestFriend · 16/08/2011 00:30

My thoughts are with your Granny and Grandad and you and yours and my heart aches for you. Be kind to yourselves and take strength from each other.

DBF xx

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 16/08/2011 00:31

Oh, CRS, it's so painful. I hope you can hold on to some clear memories of your Granny as she was, at her best. I hope she can die with some dignity. Sad

Nihilisticbunny · 16/08/2011 00:41

Oh poor love, both you and her. I can imagine it would be kinder for her to go now, but humans are very resilient and seem to hang on until they are ready. I have had lovely little old ladies who asked all the time if they were being a nuisance and should they die now (obviously being a HCA I said no).

Honestly be prepared for anything, people surprise you all the time, she may go downhill and die, she may recover fully and surprise you all. The people I have seen die in hospital, all die with dignity,it tends not to be an instant thing, rather a drawn out process.

So sorry for your predicament though, it's horrid.

Kallista · 16/08/2011 01:10

I really do feel for you, it's difficult to know though what may happen. Very frail elderly people can pull through the worst things & live for weeks or months longer than you think they will - they can be tougher than you think.

Falls are very shocking to elderly people so they can take a long time to recover. The confusion will probably be investigated - the cause could be concussion or an underlying infection; or something more serious. At 94 it doesn't take much to become disorientated. It would also be worth having the cause of the double incontinence investigated more fully if it hasn't been -there may be an answer which would improve your gran's quality of life.
The best thing you can do for your gran is to be with her when you can & just show how much you love her by holding her hand & talking to her. Even if she is confused it will comfort her.

If your gran does return home then you could discuss the issue of allowing someone other than your mum to do personal care - your mum can then concentrate on spending quality time with your gran. Your mum may have to be firm about it but there are good homecarers out there & your gran should be able to 'interview' a couple.
I am trying to be positive for you, however if your gran is dying then remember that hearing is the last sense to go & tell her how much her family loves her. At 94 it is an amazing thing for her to have a lovely family as so many elderly peole are alone.

Original poster
CRS · 16/08/2011 01:15

My granny is now on a ward - we are being told this is the end. Thanks for thoughts - a long and productive life, and I hope a dignified end.

OP posts:
Original poster
CRS · 16/08/2011 01:23

PS - I really appreciate all your help and advice. Cx

OP posts:
giraffesCantZumba · 16/08/2011 02:54

Sounds really difficult for you ust nw :(

Original poster
CRS · 16/08/2011 03:01

My granny just died (an hour ago). Thanks for all thoughts - I think she is in a better place.

OP posts:
aurynne · 16/08/2011 03:01

CRS, my gran died last year at the grand age of 99. She was the centre of the Universe in our family, and lived such an interesting life! I know how you feel, and I wish the best. Whatever happens, I hope she does not suffer.

aurynne · 16/08/2011 03:01

Oh my God, I was too late :(. I am sorry for your loss.

giraffesCantZumba · 16/08/2011 03:38

so sorry x

bugsylugs · 16/08/2011 05:23

so sorry for your loss, hugs

Bulmers · 16/08/2011 05:30

So sorry to hear of your loss CRS. I lost my lovely Gran 2 weeks ago after 3 long months in hospital.
I'm glad your Gran didn't suffer and I hope your Grandad will be ok x

NorksAreMessy · 16/08/2011 05:39

So sorry CRS .

Easier, though, to look back on a life well lived, with a loving husband and family around her at the end. Hoping for that when my time comes.

Thinking of you. X

Shipscat · 16/08/2011 05:49

So sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you x

iscream · 16/08/2011 05:55

CRS I am so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 16/08/2011 07:11

CRS oh I'm so so sorry xxxx

Wossisface · 16/08/2011 08:02

So sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you and your family. She is at rest now xxx

5inthebed · 16/08/2011 08:04

So sorry for your loss. She will be in a better place x

streakybacon · 16/08/2011 08:10

Very sorry to hear this CRS. I hope you can take some comfort from knowing that the end came quickly.
xx

RalphGnu · 16/08/2011 08:28

So very sorry to hear of your loss CRS. My thoughts are with you and your family. Your Granny sounds like a very special woman, I hope your memories of her will be a comfort to you.