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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder how people with 4+ kids function on a daily basis

100 replies

JessKM · 12/08/2011 11:47

My niece slept last night, shes 5 years old. Ive 'coped' with three children for a while and thought well, her mums ill, one more we'll hardly notice her!!!!!
BOY WAS I WRONG!
At 9am we decided to go swimming...........its 11.47, my son has lost his goggles, my DD1 is running around like a loonie and DD2 and Niece are fast asleep on the rug....neither of whom normally take naps but since it took us two hours to manage a breakfast.................

My head may explode....How do you supermums do it?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OP posts:

itisnearlysummer · 12/08/2011 11:49

Oh I have no idea.

I have 2. 1 was a doddle but 2! They drive me mad, I don't know how anyone does it with more than that. You must all be very patient!

or very good at delegating...

bumpybecky · 12/08/2011 11:50

I've got 4 and am in no way a supermum :)

I think age gaps make a huge difference. There is nearly 10 years between my eldest and youngest, they're 13, 11, 6.5 (today!) and 3. So the older two can sort themselves out a lot of the time while I deal with the younger ones. The Mums with closer ages gaps like 4 under 5 (or whatever) are the ones I think are supermums :)

mummytotwoboys · 12/08/2011 11:52

YADNBU, No idea!!! I have three (4,2, 5 months) and I looked after my friends 1 year old for a while the other day!!!!! 4 is definately 1 too many (especially if they are all young - maybe easier if they were a bit older??)

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 12/08/2011 11:57

People say that to me all the time - I think with me it's always been to get the older ones to help and perhaps I give them all more responsibility for their own stuff which maybe I wouldn't if I only had two - I don't really think about it, I just get on with it I suppose - when I have my Dsis's three to stay for babysitting, it's busy but it doesn't really cause me a problem

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 12/08/2011 11:59

my eldest was 5 when my youngest was born! Looking back I suppose it was tough at times when they were younger, but me and DH both come from large families so it didn't really occur to us we wouldn't cope. DH is also very willing and hands on which makes a huge difference too

Original poster

JessKM · 12/08/2011 12:00

LOL. THe oldest is 11, but he's severely dependent still....my fault I know. He's lush he just likes attention lol. 6 year old has ASD, very little sense of danger....4 year old niece is the perfect child that every one craves, she has perfect manners and never mentions farts or burps, baby is 21 months. I guess my biggest problem is they all run in different directions.
xxxxx

OP posts:

tabbycat7 · 12/08/2011 12:08

I found three under five hard, but now they're bigger it's so much easier. We're trying for a fourth :)

numptysmummy · 12/08/2011 12:09

I cope with wine mostly

whenIgetto3 · 12/08/2011 12:20

We have 4 under 10 the worst part was 4, 6 and under. It gets better when they go to school and although you are always running in different directions I cope by having list, lists and more lists. Reward charts and chores and luckily mine play nice together all the time she says whilst shouting stop killing each other

Mine are fine as long as there is routine, routine goes and so does their behaviour. Lots of outside time and running them ragged so they sleep. They all go to bed at 7pm, they don't actually go to sleep, they can read, listen to a CD etc but cannot come out and bother mummy at all. After 7pm is my time, always has been, my DH is often away for months on end so my DCs know that mummy needs help and a break and if I ask for help they will.

spiderpig8 · 12/08/2011 12:26

I found going from 3 to 4 the biggest jump surprisingly.Although that might have been because DC4 was a very cry-y baby who wouldn't be soothed by anyone but me and DH was working 12 hour days at the time.
3 is just about mangeable but with 4 I think you have to cut corners a bit.Also apparently your brain can keep track of only 3 different things at once and when you've got 4 it's much harder to keep track of what they're all doing

numptysmummy · 12/08/2011 12:29

when1getto3 - i have the 7pm rule too. Actually,thats a lie. It's 7.30 now but my oldest is 13 and not happy with a 7pm bedtime. I am not a follower of routines tho, i'm far too chaotic for that!

faverolles · 12/08/2011 12:36

Right at this moment, I would happily put my oldest in a cupboard for the day, as he's doing his best to wind up dd and ds2. Since 7.30, I have been refereeing whilst feeding a grumpy teething baby, and it's all about getting the bare minimum done.
But to be fair, it isn't always like this, and there are far more good times, when they're all being kind and helpful, and we have lots of fun.

unpa1dcar3r · 12/08/2011 12:40

Well Jess
I had 5 at one time, my 4 plus step daughter. Also youngest two very SLD and constant 24/7 care.
It's ok when you get used to it and organise everything and everyone like a Sargent Major!!!
Now just the boys although eldest still at home (but she's 22 now) plus her BF (23) so they actually help me with the boys when they're not working.

People always asked (still do) how do you cope. My thoughts were 'do I look like I'm coping hahahahahaha' (manic laughing) but seriously you just get on with it.

kittensliveupstairs · 12/08/2011 12:55

My sister has eight. She often wonders why I stopped at one. She is superwoman though, no shop bought food apart from frozen peas and veg. She makes all her own bread and cakes and stuff.
She is bloody wonderful.

Sharney · 12/08/2011 13:05

My mum had 5, I'm the eldest. She didn't cope at all. I think this is a big reason why I'm happy having just the 1.

bearhug · 12/08/2011 13:09

they cope by making the older children to help. (bitter, moi?)

Adversecamber · 12/08/2011 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wfrances · 12/08/2011 13:33

ive got 4 and found them very easy ,none of them have ever been demanding,slept straight through very early ,which has clearly helped.
we have always had rules and routine ,, i love cleaning but i cant cook.ds 16 is in the kitchen baking me lovely cakes right now.yum yum

AlpiniAddict · 12/08/2011 13:40

My 4 are 6,4,3 and 15 mnths. Oldest 2 are boys and youngest 2 are girls. My oldest DD is disabled. I don't have a routine as such,we just muddle through the day and hope for the best! I do need to get a routine sorted though,ideally. I'm also a recent single mum so no help from anyone. It's bloody hard work actually-Prozac helps

LiegeAndLief · 12/08/2011 13:42

I looked after my friend's kids for a good chunk of the day not long ago and so ended up with 4 aged 5, 4, 3 and (just) 2. It was actually ok, but my god did I need a large glass of wine that evening. There is no way I could do it 24/7, although I guess the age gaps would be pretty unlikely in a real family. Mealtimes took forever and I just found it impossible to keep an eye on them all when they were running off in different directions in the playground. My nerves were in tatters.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 12/08/2011 13:43

I always wonder why people have 4+ children. Obviously sometimes the unexpected happens (thrid baby turns out to be twins, contraceptive failure and so on) but to choose to have so many?

I have one. Would've have liked one or two more I think. But not three more. And goodness kittens - 8?

LiegeAndLief · 12/08/2011 13:43

My god AlpiniAddict I think I would need a bucket full of Prozac just to get through breakfast.

youngwomanwholivesinashoe · 12/08/2011 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wfrances · 12/08/2011 13:49

jenai - i think its because me and dh class a large family as being the norm.we are both from many generations of large familys .

4madboys · 12/08/2011 13:51

i have 5, the 4 boys aged 11, 9, 6 and 3 and an 8mth old baby girl!

i cope and enjoy it most of the time

i have to be organised ie when school is on we have to be out the house by 8:10am so its up by 6:30am for me, shower and dressed, then kids up and bfasted and deal with feeding baby etc whilst boys get themselves dressed and i tend to just chuck the bfast pots in the sink for when i get back...

the kids do help, ie they keep their rooms tidy, they put laundry in the basket or the washing machine, they will load and unload the washing machine, clear the table, elder two will sometimes wash up, they LIKE to do stuff like sweep the floor and hoover..

you just get on with it i guess? i always wanted four, then once we had no 4 we thought one more would be fine and it has been, the boys dote on her and are very good at playing with her etc.

i have them all in bed by 8ish, 7:30 on school nights tho the elder two read for a bit in bed. and then i have a made half hour tidying, washing up, sorting pack ups, uniforms, pe kits, swim kits, bottles etc etc before i collapse on the sofa and watch crappy tv.

when at home my dp helps, but he works crazy hours, currenlty been away since last friday lunchtime, he gets home tonight!! YAY

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