to NEVER invite this friend round with her DS ever again

[superv1xen]

invited my friend round with her ds (aged 4) she is an old friend, the last time i saw her was when her ds was a baby. we lost contact and recently found eachother again on fb, have met up once without dc (night out) today is first time with dc present.

well from the minute they walked in he irritated me. me "hello friends DS my haven't you grown etc etc" him kids not speaking back when spoken to by adults i find REALLY rude. the whole time he was there he ignored me when spoken to. and i spoke to him nicely every time.

we did them lunch in the kitchen, my dc (2 and 5) sat and ate nicely, not him. up and down from the table like a yo yo, wanders outside, wanders upstairs, brings toys into the kitchen etc etc despite friend telling him off. wouldnt eat a thing. then when me and my friend had our lunch, naturally, he wanted what we had instead

then we got some paints out for them, again in the kitchen, as less mess. but thats not good enough for friends ds, after 2 minutes, him and his painty hands are wandering back upstairs, i did not want paint on my walls or carpet. friend coaxes him down and we gave up with the paints and let them get the toys out. within 2 mins he has deliberately broken 2 toys, one is a £50 buzz lightyear thats DS's favourite :(

then as his final piece de resistance, he goes wandering up the stairs again, finds DH's motorcycle helmet and flings it down the stairs. so now thats broken and will cost at least £30 to replace

aibu to never ask her round again? (with him in tow anyway!)

Did your friend offer to pay for the broken toys? She should have

Yes it's really upsetting when a visiting dc breaks something. I've got two friends, both with beautifully behaved dcs, who do say "hello" and eat everything on their plates and sit nicely - but ... they always break something. They just seem to be too rough. We have some electric trains which they always try to ram the wheels back whilst the engine's running. We have had to replace two of those. My strategy is to now hide them before they come. I think possibly a ball shaped helmet sitting at the top of the stairs may have been a bit too tempting to ignore.

Jet pack buzz- £30-£50 now :( YANBU
I would be v. P.Off.
If they do come again put a complete ban on going upstairs as I do with my friend's knows no boundaries son little tinker.

QuintessentialShadow - "A good motorcycle helmet is at least £200. If the helmet broke because a child threw it down the stairs, imagine what it would have done to your dhs head if he had an accident? Your dh needs to go and get himself a proper good helmet. It is vital piece of kit!!"

You're missing the point. I think the OP realises how vital it is.

A helmet is only designed to withstand one impact as it partially destructs (possibly invisibly) to dissipate some of the forces created in an accident.

Whether the impact is caused by a crash, dropping the helmet accidentally or a naughty child throwing it, the result is the same; it needs replacing.

OH and I both ride (OH since he was a small boy) and what OH said to me when shopping for a helmet was, 'if your head is only worth £50, buy a £50 helmet. If you think it's worth more, buy a more expensive one'.

x posted with op, about the fact that it did not actually break. Did not see that post. My point was more that it would cost a lot more than 30 to replace it! (I dont ride, my dh does. But we both do downhill skiing, and the principle is the same)

NO, that's all kids need these days just "NO".

You can ask for council funding to translate this into any language you like...

touchy feely no..
don't upset the children no
am I being too strict no
will the kids hate me no
am i arresting their freewill and development no
am i supressing their rights to be children and not listen to adults no

NO THAT'S IT, NO.. YOU CAN'T BECAUSE I SAY SO....

I am sat here imagining my lovely mum's face (RIP) if I'd said NO, at 4 or 5 or 13.....you just didn't then and rioting, well I still had to let tehm know at around 20 years od where and when I was coming in!

How can you not know where your 10./12 year old is and when they come in with new Nikes etc, why the hell you don't grab an ear and shop them to the local police?

I'm hoping you've posted on the wrong thread stickyj?

Yes this thread's taken a strange turn...

YABU to be annoyed at the child. Perhaps his behaviour ought to have been nipped in the bud but that is not his fault he is four years old.

As for him not responding to you when you spoke to him. He's FOUR! Some children are incredibly shy, maybe he didn't know what to say. I don't what a four year old would say to haven't you grown.

His mother clearly needs to teach him to sit nicely at a table to eat and not to break up property or roam around people's houses. He is old enough to understand this behaviour is wrong. But that is a matter for his mother.

How about you just meet up on neutral territory from now on. Outside, park, cafe, etc.