...to think £300/year is a pittance...

[TotallyUtterlyBroke]

...to clothe one adult and one teen?

After messy divorce/period of homelessness/move to new house I got into debt and have been on a debt management plan for almost five years. I have just had my annual review where I have to give the DM company details of all my income and expenditure (mortgage, bills, council tax, etc.) and all money leftover after basic needs are met goes to my creditors (mostly bank and credit cards) via standing order. So far, so reasonable...

The creditors give the debt management company 'guidelines' as to what is a reasonable amount for debtors to spend on certain items and I totally accept that I shouldn't be living the life of riley while I owe people money. However... the creditors' guidelines state that one adult and one 14 year old child should only be allowed £30/month between them for ALL clothing and shoes, including school uniform. AIBU in thinking this really isn't realistic even though I buy my own clothes second hand on ebay? I am about to spend almost double that next week to replace my DD's school trousers (2 pairs), school shirts (with logo) (2) and a cheap pair of shoes, which probably won't even last until half term...

I really do understand that I have to repay my debts, but AIBU in thinking £180/year per person for all clothes and shoes is just silly? I am constantly having to into the equally meagre food budget in order to manage, ie. we eat baked beans and spuds for a week or a month when DD needs trainers/PE kit, for example.

Here's the website if you need it: www.cccs.co.uk/

Soffia, YABU.

How big are your debts? ANd how much is your surplus each month? If they are below £15,000 & £50 per month have you looked into a DRO?

I had a DMP a few years back after splitting with my ex until I was made redundant when my surplus was down to about 52p a month. It was such a relief to get that knowing that otherwise I'd have been paying the debts for the foreseeable future. Apologies if this has already been suggested to you and is not possible.

I'v actually just looked through my budget sheets when Ihad mine. For myself & 2 dcs I had a clothes budget of £30 while on the DMP under CCCS, which National Debtline made me increase to £40.50 when I applied for the DRO. I actually found that a bit high as I spent nowhere near that. Get your underwear from asda, I actually always get my bras from there now as I find them far more comfortable than any other shop. A pack of cheap knickers (not pretty, but do the job) are about £3 for a pack of 5. A couple of packs of them, a few bras for about £6 each. That's your underwear sorted for the year, same with your DD. Tesco do some quite nice dresses for a tenner. Get a few of them and you're sorted. Or some vest tops for a couple of quid each with some jeans from New Look (£10).

I know what I was like as a teen and there's no way I would have worn second hand uniform but would your DD? Does your school sell decent enough 2nd hand uniform that you can get without her realising? You could probably get a jumper for example for a tenth of what it would cost brand new. For non school clothes, try boohoo.com. They do dresses for £10-£15 for example.

£30 a month is totally totally doable.

Would you qualify for a clothing voucher from the LA to go towards uniform Totally?

Thanks Totem. I've been in touch with CCCS in the past - I think they're very similar to Payplan. I'm happy to scrimp and save to maintain my payments rather than ask for a decrease at the moment, although if I'm in the same boat next year, who knows...?

I'm trying to pay this off as quickly as I can without actually starving us! It's hard sometimes - not so much for me, but for DD, watching all her friends go off on their summer hols, get new phones, laptops etc., but she's remarkably stoical really. She would love some kind of a job, but at 14 is only allowed to take certain things (paper rounds etc.) and hasn't found anything yet.

If you have years to go, it is worth looking into BR even if you have a mortgage, honestly, especially if prices fall and you are in negative equity. You are entitled to keep your house unless you stand to gain tens of thousands from it.

The MSE boards are very helpful. Good luck

For clothes to last as long as many of you are claiming, you must be spending alot on them to begin with. I buy middle priced stuff and they don't last that long.

This thread shows how out of touch people are with the cost of senior school uniform. I have just bought my DD a PE kit, it cost me just under £90. The gym skirt, top and knickers all had to be embroided.

The OP has been through a tough time, is working, she shouldn't be under the added stress of a stain not washing off or falling over when it is icy and something being ripped. It is a small amount to spend on clothes.

Tbh it's lucky many on here are not being relied on to stimulate the economy.

It's tight. Shoes and clothes for the five of us costs about £800 a year (and that's george stuff mostly)

Glitterknickaz - 800 a year for five is less per person than the budget the op has

Thanks 26 minutes. I don't want to put too many details on here, but I don't qualify for a DRO unfortunately. I already buy my bras at Asda - I quite like them actually! And only buy when the previous one is knackered so as not to annoy Sofia

DD is a tiny size 6 to 8 and can buy from Primark etc - bras for £2! She is also a careful shopper!

The school uniform is the bummer - and the shoes... School logo polo shirts are £13 each and they are not even good quality. She has second hand school jumper bought from the school at 2/3 price of new (so not exactly a bargain). Her shoe size increased from 5 to 7 last year and she has gone from 32AAA to 34B! I've told her not to grow anymore but she doesn't listen!

Not strictly "ethical" of course, but I gather there are loopholes and the like - worth checking mse to glean tips? One I've heard of is to claim you're a smoker... you may be given a small allowance for tobacco products.

I have to ask though - is an IVA/management plan actually a better option than straightfoward bankruptcy which would at least allow you to move on with your life in ~12 months.

I think it's feasible to live on 180 clothes budget for one year (fucking depressing though) - but 5 would have my shoplifting tbh.

What if the child can't wear stuff from George? Two of mine cannot wear most of their stuff because they are too thin and many of the bottoms do not have adjustable waists (or belt loops), particularly the uniform items. Their feet are also too narrow - D widths.

What if you have massive boobs and can't use supermarket bras?

I think I'd be inclined to go bankrupt, OP.

Bellavita - Local authority (West Sussex) no longer provides clothing grants. Probably wouldn't qualify anyway... don't qualify for school meals or anything else like that.

Shoes are expensive, especially while feet are growing. A size increase usually means at least new school shoes and trainers at the same time.

That's a bummer then Totally

Totem, I so agree with you. I have had to buy both new trainers and shoes for Sept for both of my boys.

DS2 is going from primary where they wore black plimsoles inside so he wore his trainers to walk to school and to use for PE too.

Good idea re the clothing dye TSC.

What about bankruptcy? I know it would mean saving the £500 to pay for it but the fact that you have a DMP means that your credit is already buggered, a BR will only stay on your credit file for 6 years so after that you'll be totally free. It is the biggest relief going, believe me. I've got another 4 years left until my DRO comes off but it means there's a light whereas in a DMP there wouldn't have been.

Oh sorry, just seen you have a mortgage so BR not an option for you.

yanbu, £150 for an adult is doable, but £150 for a teen who may still be growing, and to include school uniform and shoes is v tight indeed.

If you would have use for any size 10 cloths pm me.

Sadly £3 bras from Primark and 32Fs just don't go together in the same sentence. Cheap high street retailers don't seem to understand actual bra sizes at all and are of the impression that everyone with a small back has small breasts and only larger ladies have big breasts.

If anyone can advise the OP about somewhere that sells 32Fs for less than £20 when on sale, I'm sure she would love to hear from them. As would I! Due to pregnancy I have ballooned (pun intended) from 30C to 32F and due to a variety of factors, am trying to keep costs down as much as possible so have scoured the high street and Internet for cheap bras with no luck.

Without wanting to fixate on one aspect of the OPs dilemma, I'm going to continue ranting about bras. You simply cannot get by without at least 2 decent bras if you are above a B cup and over 21 (thank you so much gravity) one to wash and one to wear is the absolute minimum and that is of course assuming you can also find cheap styles that are suitable with the clothes you have, or cheap clothes to go with your cheap bras.

With the best will in the world, those £20+ bras are not going to last forever so will need replacing. Given that the OPs daughter is 14, it is hardly unrealistic to assume that she will start to find difficulty soon in finding good bras from the high street, genetics being what they are. So that is now 4x£20 bras initial outlay, with the bras being washed every other day. That means that 18 months use per bra should be considered good going, even if they are hand washed (and really, who has the time to hand wash 2 bras every.single.night of their lives?)

Doing the maths, that means that out of 3 years worth of clothing allowance, the OP has to spend £160, or around 20% of her budget, on one type of clothing. Add in the 50% that uniform takes up (while fervently praying that DD doesn't have a growth spurt, or that her school shirts are roomy enough to accommodate an increase in bra size without needing to replace them as well) and that leaves 30% of the budget for everything else her and her daughter need.

Can any of the teeth kickers who have posted honestly say they can adequately clothe themselves and a growing teen on less than £100 a year? What is she meant to do? Buy her DD a decent pair of boots and wear them to death, but blow half a years budget on them to ensure they last? Or buy a couple of pairs of cheaper shoes that need replacing every year? oh, except DD is a child, so her feet will grow, and need decent support while they are still growing to prevent a lifetime of malformation.

Well that's sorted then OP, your daughter can live in school uniform her entire life and you can go out in nowt but underwear and shoes once the clothes you have struggled to keep hold of and wearable for the last 5 years fall to pieces when you wear them. Yep, that is totally reasonable and anything less than that is just your own fault for expecting an extravagant lifestyle

YANBU - It really is not much, but can be done. Your daughter sounds like such a lovely girl, you must be very proud of her.

Have you tried talking to someone at school about uniform. Sometimes they have a pot of money to help people who are struggling, but who do not qualify for free school meals etc. Also if they do 2nd hand uniform & know that you are struggling, then maybe they might let you have some much cheaper or even free (we do at our school - although we keep quiet about it).
Also it might be worth asking on your local freecycle group if anyone has any outgrown uniform.
If you don't use it already, MoneySavingingExpert is really useful.

Tks - I use MoneySavingExpert (it's brilliant) and freecycle and streetbank, etc. etc. Have just got some jam jars from freecycle and made all our winter jam using free blackberries picked from the university campus where I work!

I will try talking to the shool again, but it's so humiliating. I had to 'negotiate' with them about a school day out which cost £18, and it was excrutiating

school dammit. Not shool!

Pious and OP too - There's a website called www.braffinity.co.uk who do larger cup size bras from good makes (freya, panache etc) for half original price and free postage, they've been a lifesaver!