...to think £300/year is a pittance...

[TotallyUtterlyBroke]

...to clothe one adult and one teen?

After messy divorce/period of homelessness/move to new house I got into debt and have been on a debt management plan for almost five years. I have just had my annual review where I have to give the DM company details of all my income and expenditure (mortgage, bills, council tax, etc.) and all money leftover after basic needs are met goes to my creditors (mostly bank and credit cards) via standing order. So far, so reasonable...

The creditors give the debt management company 'guidelines' as to what is a reasonable amount for debtors to spend on certain items and I totally accept that I shouldn't be living the life of riley while I owe people money. However... the creditors' guidelines state that one adult and one 14 year old child should only be allowed £30/month between them for ALL clothing and shoes, including school uniform. AIBU in thinking this really isn't realistic even though I buy my own clothes second hand on ebay? I am about to spend almost double that next week to replace my DD's school trousers (2 pairs), school shirts (with logo) (2) and a cheap pair of shoes, which probably won't even last until half term...

I really do understand that I have to repay my debts, but AIBU in thinking £180/year per person for all clothes and shoes is just silly? I am constantly having to into the equally meagre food budget in order to manage, ie. we eat baked beans and spuds for a week or a month when DD needs trainers/PE kit, for example.

It won't be fun but it should be possible. When I was a student a decade ago, I lived on a pittance and the only money I had for clothes was what I was given for Xmas and birthday, typically around £100 a year. I lived like that for 5 years.

I agree, Zoo. I consider spending more than £30 on a winter coat the kind of excess that brought down the Roman Empire, and I make a lot of stuff for tuppence ha'penny, and even I think it's below the poverty line.

I do love MN and its "I walked 20 miles barefoot in a hempen sack to give birth, and so should everyone" posts

Also depends on you having decent charity shops( ours do old last chic and nothing younger!) and access to primark etc( 50 miles to our nearest one).

Neither of my children's schools asked us to buy from a specific shop and badges etc could be bought from the school.

Firstly you have been On dmp for five years and still not clear. How many more years? Is this one of those companies that charge a management fee,

Did you get advice from one of the free debt charities? Cccs or national debtline? Have you reviewed whether a dmp is still the best plan. Maybe bankruptcy or a debt relief order would be a better option. Many people are advised by companies to go down the dmp route because they make money off them. The other options are less profitable for them but better for the person in debt!

£30/month isn't much, to cover all clothes and shoes.

When you say Debt Management Company, are you paying them for this? If so, look into using one of the debt charities instead.

I think you need to look into all the allowances and get as much wriggle room as you possibly can.

I actually think YABU. People are saying uniform costs half the money, but you wear uniform for half the time! I do think you will need to 'give' your allowance to your DD as there's no way you need £30 a month, especially if you already have a coat and some shoes. It will be harder if you need formal office clothes than if you can wear casual clothes or a uniform to work.

Do people know you are struggling? I have had some cast offs from some friends that haven't had kids yet and that has been great. Have had to adjust some of it to fit.

Oops, cross posted with allthefires.

lol Jodie. So true

Well you are lucky then Imperial. We have to go to the school shop for every thing bar trousers and shoes.

Some schools only require a logo sweater. Shirts, trousers/skirts and such can be bought at Tesco. And the Tesco offer did have teen stuff in it, whether it does now I have no idea.

If you do need to cut back on clothes the trick is to buy classic styles and the best quality you can afford. My £40 short boots in black and brown (presents) I wear 90% of the year (basically unless there is snow on the ground and am wearing Wellingtons or staying at home, or if it is too unbearably hot to wear trousers) and have done for three years now. No "of the season" coats either and a black trouser suit works for events all year round with just two or maybe three changes of tops and accessories.

Also I change into paint-splattered and manky Primark / Matalan t-shirts and bottoms (mens size small are cheaper) as soon as the front door closes. I am quite the fashion plate but it saves wear and tear on clothes.

the thing with school uniform, is that all school starts back september...you can always start in june and get a few bits a week/month.

i never buy clothes for myself unless i go somewhere like a wedding, £300 is douable, as long as you don't buy the big brands

Two new bra's can easily be 30.00

They can just as easily be 3.00 each too if you shop in Asda or Primark, and both go up to large sizes if that is necessary.

I shop at jumble sales a lot of the time if I need clothes. I am in the middle of a diet, and have dropped two dress sizes so far, but am hoping to drop another 2, and I dont want to waste money on clothes that will hopefully only fit me for a short time.

I recently got 3 pairs of M & S trousers, 2 pairs of M & S jeans, a few tops (all good brands), and a couple of pairs of shoes that were like new, for less than a fiver in total.

If you are skint, you are skint and you have to economise accordingly.

You also, as an adult have to put your child first too, and if it means you doing without, then so be it.

Again, where is the father in this, is he not providing towards his childs clothes?

I think one of main problems is it's easy to cope for a small of time on such a limited budget. However this OP has struggled for 5 years, spent some time homeless and I'm assuming this meant many clothes were lost over this time due to limited space.

Add to that that her sons clothes are now subject to vat due to age.

It becomes really tough!

Christ my ds's primary are now saying they have to wear the school COATS. At £25 each. I know they aren't legally allowed to do that, but if they are going to get told of for taking their cheapy tescos coats into school, then I don't really have a choice if I don't want a 7&9yo getting told off for something that's notdown to them. So that's £50 I've got to find this month. And I don't have the money to mount a legal challenge against the school! Bloody school uniform.

And my bras are (normally, when not bf) at least £25 EACH. That's what you get for being a 32G naturally. It SUCKS EGGS.

Can't say I'm surprised at some of the replies... "you shouldn't need new clothes"; "...teens want designer labels" (oh, please, come on...); "sell 'nice' tv and get one from freecycle..." (don't even have a TV - can't afford licence!)

But thanks to those of you who have acknowledged that tights get laddered, underwires go ping, and clothes don't last forever... I politely decline things like wedding invitations, etc., because I'd just look ridiculous . In the last seven months I have acquired 2 x second hand skirts from ebay, 1 shirt from ebay, a pair of Birkenstocks (£20 from TKMax - birthday present from sister). My knickers are in shreds FGS!

As others have pointed out, you can't buy cheap uniform for secondary schools from Asda (well you can buy components of it, but not all...) yet teens continue to grow, including their feet and breasts!

I'm not complaining (much!) but it doesn't seem realistic. Further up the thread someone suggested that holidays are included as outgoings and 'allowed', but I can assure you they aren't - it's just the bare bones - no 'treats'!

Have just increased my hours at work by eight hours a week, and the extra money 'gained' was cancelled out by reduction in tax credits, so effectively I've gained travel costs, but barely any extra income!

DD's father pays nothing and no longer lives in UK so can't be pursued.

Actually minimum price of a new bra for me is £30. Supermarkets don't go up to my size and those who seldom do don't actually fit

Squeaky, if you can find me a bra that costs 3 quid and is a size 32f I'll be very happy.

Its do-able, adults dont need that much as they arent growing so as long as clothes are laundered correctly they will last a long time. New underwear can be bought very cheaply.

If you have just increased your hours by 8 then presumably you dont work full time so managing debts on a part time income is always going to be hard but the sooner you repay them the better. As you have a teen and not a young child i'd work a second job or at the very min full time to get the debt paid off asap.

totallyutterlybroke please look at my post about other options and speak to one of the debt charities. Moneysavingexpert also gave me back my life.

Well done OP on working your way out of debt- but are you paying the DMC a massive chunk?
Would it realistically be better to declare yourself bankrupt- have you got anything to lose by it?

Five years is a long time to have been living like this- well done for your determination!

AlltheFires and Totem - No, it's not a company that takes a commission. Every penny paid goes to the creditors - found via Citizens' Advice...

"I consider spending more than £30 on a winter coat the kind of excess that brought down the Roman Empire"

yy. DH spent all last autumn and winter trying to get me to buy a military-style short coat. Yes they looked very nice on me but next year it will be something different and I don't drive. Last year's shapeless padded horror suited me fine in the snow and will do for the next four years again.

Secondary uniform is a bugger though. DD's trousers, great, Tesco. Tops were changed on the last day of term might I add by the HT from plain black jersey and pale blue blouses available at reasonable prices everywhere even in M&S / BHS to only logo-ed (?) polo shirts and sweatshirts from the school shop. Sew-on badges not an option; pupils will be sent home if not in correct new uniform.