...to think £300/year is a pittance...

[TotallyUtterlyBroke]

...to clothe one adult and one teen?

After messy divorce/period of homelessness/move to new house I got into debt and have been on a debt management plan for almost five years. I have just had my annual review where I have to give the DM company details of all my income and expenditure (mortgage, bills, council tax, etc.) and all money leftover after basic needs are met goes to my creditors (mostly bank and credit cards) via standing order. So far, so reasonable...

The creditors give the debt management company 'guidelines' as to what is a reasonable amount for debtors to spend on certain items and I totally accept that I shouldn't be living the life of riley while I owe people money. However... the creditors' guidelines state that one adult and one 14 year old child should only be allowed £30/month between them for ALL clothing and shoes, including school uniform. AIBU in thinking this really isn't realistic even though I buy my own clothes second hand on ebay? I am about to spend almost double that next week to replace my DD's school trousers (2 pairs), school shirts (with logo) (2) and a cheap pair of shoes, which probably won't even last until half term...

I really do understand that I have to repay my debts, but AIBU in thinking £180/year per person for all clothes and shoes is just silly? I am constantly having to into the equally meagre food budget in order to manage, ie. we eat baked beans and spuds for a week or a month when DD needs trainers/PE kit, for example.

How much longer you got on this plan?

HappyMummy - I work 36 hours/week. If I could find more work, believe me I would.

I have no idea if school are demanding logo clothes, but if they are, go in and see them. They should have procedures in place for parents on hideously low incomes (been there).

Totes you have my every sympathy. The long grind of having so little money must be very wearing, regardless of whether or not it's your 'fault'. And it is far worse for workers who have to look respectable 'on the job.'

I hope you can get some good advice. And what size are you? I'm about to sell more clobber on ebay and I'll put 'em all up Buy It Now for 10p if you like

The OP could take a second job HappyMummy but actually 14 year old girls can be pretty vulnerable and it is not always wise to leave them completely unsupervised for hours and hours after school. They still need a chat, keeping tabs on, a bit of maternal presence to make sure homework is being done. The OP sounds as though she has had a really tough time and good for her for keeping everything together to the extent that she has. It do think there may be a bit of merit in dd doing a bit of babysitting, paper round though if she wants more than her mum can stump up in the next year or two though.

Brigade - the last winter coat I bought was a vintage pure wool 50s affair, double breasted 3/4 length with white piping around the shawl collar. £20 in Camden Market and in perfect nick!

The beauty of, like me, being totally old-fashioned, is that nothing's gonna date much further than it already is

Maybe if you didn't buy 2 new bras every year you wouldn't be in debt. I look after my clothes (hand wash cycle for most of them), buy things that are classic designs and wear many of my things for 10 - 20 years. It's perfectly possible to be well-dressed (including professionally) and not buy new clothes every year. If you are in debt and don't have your own money to pay for things, why should you be entitled to buy new things?

AlltheFires - I am already dealing with a debt charity - that's how I pay my DMP (it's Payplan). They have suggested that bankruptcy isn't the best thing for me and that as I do have 'surplus' income I should be on DMP.

I would like to stress that I am not paying anyone.

The allowances on bankrupty are much more flexible and generous. They allow for school fees for one thing! I went bankrupt several years ago because my then business partner ran off with our money and didn't pay the VAT. C& E refused to accept £1,000 a month, so I went bankrupt and paid £300 per month for 3 years. I was actually much better off than when I had been struggling to keep the business afloat and was allowed holidays, haircuts, clothing etc. at reasonable rates.

Thanks for the understanding MarriedinWhite. DD has been trying to find work, too, but no joy yet! She doesn't ask for stuff - she's great like that. Her expectations are as low as mine and she does occasionally 'inherit' some slightly slutty looking clothes from my 18 year old neice, which keeps her happy!

OP am glad it's payplan and you are with a debt charity so many sharks out there.

Sofia- there for the grace of god go I. The fall from the pedestal can be so far.

Sofia - I'm just going out on a limb here my precious, and I'm sure OP can speak for herself, but I have a teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeensy feeling that an unpleasant divorce, homelessness and an absentee father might be a slightly more likely explanation for debt than the frankly outrageous purchase of two items of underwear every 12 months

Do you have any assets to protect? ie is your home mortgage or rented? Do you own a car worth over 2k?
If so then yes, bankruptcy is not for you.

If however you have no assets then I would say that bankcruptcy would be a better route.

However.... in answer to your OP, no YANBU. £300 is not nearly enough for your teen let alone you as well.

How much longer have you got to go?#
Are you aware that you can go back and appeal your allowances? You need to list out your dd's uniform costs and any essential items such as a winter coat etc.

Sofia - have you actually read my posts?

Well said Jodieharsh

Oh OP, cross-post, sorry. A holiday was absolutely allowed in the bankruptcy (though no presents). I did and re-did the SoA many times and I did say that BR allowances are more generous.

Again, secondary uniform is problematic and especially wrt breast size. How do you know? DD is only eleven but she could well be my size within a year.

I think you deserve more Y were NBU than people sharing clothing /frugality tips and for that I am sorry. I do agree with you and said that in my first post in this thread.

Oh, FFS, Sofia! Stupid American Victorian ideas about how the poor or those who are down on their luck should be kicked in the teeth since they're on the ground already and near your feet.

She's hardly in debt over bras. And hello? They don't last forever!

See another advisor, OP. Try your local council. It's probably better for you just to go bankrupt.

Hi Miniwedge - yes, I have a mortgage and a car worth about £200!

I have years to go, unfortunately...

It was my annual review today - every year they look for 3% increase in payments to creditors, which I've managed until now. However, increased gas, electricity, petrol, food costs, etc., make it impossible this year. TBH they weren't that happy that I couldn't put the amount up this time, although they accepted it in the end...

Thanks JodieHarsh Sofia is a sympathetic soul, isn't she?

Sounds horrible OP, I wish there was something I could do. It seems you're already doing everything you can. Do you have any friends who's clothes you could have?
If I had a friend in your position, I'd want to help by offering old (nice!) Clothes or a shopping trip, my treat. I'm in the lucky position of being very comfortable so would love to share the comfiness if I could and it didn't mean upsetting or patronising them.
Hugs and YANBU

Ah mortgage - understand now.

Do make sure you still gave regular reviews.

Ignore the judgey posters- they get a power trip from kicking people when they are down.

You can still go bankrupt and have a mortgage. I think you need to see a money adviser. Many local councils have them on staff.

Thanks Brigade! I don't mind a few frugality tips, but actually think I could write a book on them!

Totally, that sounds a bit harsh. If your outgoings have increased more than your income then shouldn't they allow a decrease in the debt payment.

Maybe you could contact the cccs and get a second opinion on your situation.