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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask at what point it's legitimate to complain about neighbour noise?

37 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 19:03

I am just curious, really, because there have been a few threads about this recently. At what point would you knock on someone's door to ask them to keep it down?

For example, last Xmas our NDNs had a set of professional speakers, like the type you'd get in a pub to do karaoke with, placed up against our bedroom wall, and were doing mass singing with till 12.30am. We had elderly guests who couldn't sleep.

Or, last night (school night), our neighbours 4 doors down had their teens in their back garden screaming, and I mean screaming, at the top of their lungs, such that even with all the windows closed curtains drawn you could hear them. Went on well past 1am. DP had to get up for work at 6.

Obviously this is not like blaring dance music till 4, but in those sort of situations, do you complain? Or is it anything for a quiet life and neighbour harmony?

OP posts:
chicletteeth · 05/08/2011 19:05

Those scenarios are totally unaccpetable.
I would definitely have spoken with them about this.
Do you get on with generally?

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 19:10

If it's a one off I have a lot more tolerance. The odd party on a weekend I will put up with and I would probably gritted my teeth on the xmas thing, or maybe just politley let them know we had elderly guests and could they turn it down a bit. The screaming teenagers sounds out of order, especially on a week night, but as a one off I might let it slide.

If either of the aobve became more regular I would have a word and just politley let them know what time your DH has to get up. It shouldn't cause any issues between you - just a friendly "oh by the way - the noise has been travelling a bit more than you probably realised and DH has to get up at 6...."

UpsyDozy · 05/08/2011 19:14

It's really tricky OP. If you don't know your neighbours very well you have no idea what you are walking into. Whilst you hope they are reasonable people who will be understanding, I kind if think that reasonable people wouldn't show such blatant lack of consideration for the people around them in the first place!

I tend to let the odd night/party/music go. If there was persistent noise for say more than 2 nights in a week then I would pop round and speak to them.

Whorulestheroost · 05/08/2011 19:17

A few doors down had a party last Saturday night which had music in the garden until well after 1am. This was a one off and so we said nothing. If the noise is only occasionally then it's best to be tolerant but I do agree that it's a pain in the rear. Try muffles ear plugs from boots they work a treat :)

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 19:51

Thanks. Am just wondering about the principle of the thing really - is it not cricket to go round?

With the NDNs at Christmas, catgirl that's exactly what I did - v polite, all 'Merry Xmas, hope I'm not bothering you, but we do have my great aunt over' - and received a mouthful of abuse. Spoiled Xmas Sad

Didn't say anything about the teens, thought I'd let it slide.

But what makes you go knocking on a neighbour's door - or are you too squeamish?

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 19:53

Oh....if they are like that you have my full sympathy :(

I don't think I have ever complained to a neighbour but I have been pretty lucky with mine so far, except for having one who complained at us all the time for nothing whatsoever, so that might have coloured my view a bit and made me less likely to complain IFYSIM.

I think regular noise would be the key for me - one-offs I would live with, regular I would have to say something

festi · 05/08/2011 20:01

if it is a one off I would just put up with it, if it is happening regularly I would have to have a word, if goes past say 2am 2.30am or say three nights in a row on a week day would definatly get me asking them to keep it down.

A neighbour, who was a close friend at the time and knew I had a small baby and worked was singing ring of fire at 3 am on a sunday/monday well pissed up with all her windows open with her stereo blarring. Sop I text her in the morning when I got up at 6.30 that although Im glad to hear her having such fun, if it ever happens again I be round to shuv her stereo up her ring of fire. She was very applogetic and did find it very funny. I also nocked her door at lunch time to see if she fancied a coffee as I knew she would be asleep and I was satisfied had woken twice from her sleep that day.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 20:12

Festi good you managed to deal with it with a bit of humour.

The auld bitch lady next door to me went on and ON about how much noise we make. When I tried to apologise the next day she said blithely, 'Oh don't worry, we never hear a peep out of you, I just said that to hit back at you' Hmm

Psycho....

OP posts:
festi · 05/08/2011 20:17

strange lady

NormanTebbit · 05/08/2011 20:18

I think it's pretty much anything goes between 7am and 11pm and then noise has to be kept down.

We had a noise complaint from a downstairs neighbour at 2pm in the afternoon because my children were being too noisy ( they had friends round, we were waiting for the rain to stop so we could go yo the park)

He complains that he can hear the kids from 7am till 7.30pm but there isn't much i can do apart from gag them and tie them to a chair.

He is retaliating after I complained about loud music at 11.30pm ( after a few weekends when it started at 4am deliberately I think in revenge for kid noise)

I didn't mean to start a war. All you can do is stay reasonable and if it's too much phone your council noise team.

lachesis · 05/08/2011 20:19

Anything super loud after 11PM, IMO. OR, anything excessive. For example, we had a neighbour who played booming bass all day and all evening into the wee hours. Every single day. She had hordes of mates over yelling and being loud. Every single day. All day and evening and into the night. Until we complained. She tried to get back at us but our noise was found to be from normal living and hers was excessive.

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 20:20

I had a thread about the fucking dogs next door

When it gets to a point where your child doesn't get to sleep till 10pm and is then woken up again at 6am every night. That is when you talk to them

Then write a letter.. which also failed..

I have now reported them to the dog warden. Had enough does not even come close with them.

lachesis · 05/08/2011 20:21

x-post with NormanT. His attempts at retaliation will be shot down because unless it's ridiculous, and they can put a noise monitor into his home to determine that and they will also ask if you have children with behavioural issues or disabilities, then most kid noise is deemed 'normal living'.

Normal living doesn't include loud music, even during the day if it's constant, or parties every night.

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 20:23

Sorry about that hello. Have you thought of contacting one of the dog rescue types on MN? I am a dog lover and I don't think happy dogs would behave like that. There may be someone who can intervene if you don't have any luck with the warden.

OP posts:
zelda1982 · 05/08/2011 20:25

I'm pretty lucky with my neighbours, there is the odd time some are noisy but tbh i'm usually knackered by the end of the day so sleep through it.

A year or so ago my ndn had an awful row with an ex or something, really noisy (again i fell alseep soon after lol) but a few days later i was sitting out the front and so was my ndn and the housing officer came round and said there'd been a complaint about the noise. I thought that was rather off complaining for a 1 off (it must of been my ndn's other ndn)

aliceliddell · 05/08/2011 20:28

Is there any political party you could not support if the up side was intrroduction of effective noise 'wardens' or similar to relieve us of the gits problem? (Fash excepted)

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 20:32

alice my dad wrote to David Cameron after his neighbours set off fireworks recently. I think he's hoping to get it made a central Conservative plank Grin

OP posts:
aliceliddell · 05/08/2011 20:33

We are now enduring enjoying the bloody awful racket of neighbours party, now entering its 7th hour. Seems to be in the 'garden'. Want something bad to happen. Like rain maybe.

lachesis · 05/08/2011 20:34

I get fed up of peoples' all-day, all-night parties. Such parties are considered excessive noise, however, and can be reported accordingly.

NormanTebbit · 05/08/2011 20:37

My neighbour is a single guy - a fitness fanatic- and I just think he has not got a clue. My kids watch TV from whenever they rise (6am sometimes) unt 8.30am / 9am in holidays/weekends to limit the noise.

We have a quote for carpeting with noise reduction underlay in our hallway for £870.

I am always anxious about noise when the kids are in the house.

As a result, we are moving next year.

lachesis · 05/08/2011 20:41

I feel your pain! Our neighbour is a pregnant teen who likes to drink and chain smoke. She has no other children.

We also have no carpetting down as can't afford it but might be able to do at least the living room as the council is going to compensate us for some work they did in here that was highly disruptive.

I'd like to move, but don't want to go back into private rented. :)

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 20:42

Norman that's a shame. Yep, me and DP are saving for a deposit, but I have said no matter what, I will not live in a midterraced house or any flat except a top floor one. Just cannot, cannot be arsed with either noise or anxiety about noise.

OP posts:
Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 05/08/2011 20:43

lachesis ironically, PsychoBitchNeighbour was my mum's NDN; they own in a very 'nice' neighbourhood. I was only glad I wasn't tied by a mortgage and could move, which we did in Jan!!

OP posts:
lachesis · 05/08/2011 20:44

Have a lot of anxiety about noise when the kids are around, too. So sick of it, but no chance of ever owning a home. Still, if I could, there's no way I'd ever buy a mid-terrace or flat. At least with renting, if it were just ridiculous, it is easier to move at the end of the day.

DontCallMeBaby · 05/08/2011 20:49

Next door we complain if it's just ludicrously loud, whatever the hour. I've gone round at 7.30pm before when that was DD's bedtime when the music was just on insanely loud, and I've been round at 1am (I was pissed myself on that occasion and feeling unusually bolshy). The teenage daughters are actually quite sensible and will turn it down, unfortunately they seem to have friends who think it's amusing to suddenly turn the volume up to 11, which makes me leap out of my skin and be unable to sleep for an hour no matter what they then do!

I did love the time the girls came round to check our just how loud it was, and caught it just as the music stopped between tracks - "OMG, you can hear what we're saying!" Yes we can.