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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never leave my house again, never ever ever.

268 replies

Megatron · 05/08/2011 19:01

OK first of all can I just say that I am not some mentalist who normally does this kind of thing but both DC's are out for tea tonight so DH on our own.

DH has a habit of running through the house bare chested beating his chest shouting instructions (I know, I know). It's funny. Sometimes. So this evening I thought it would be hilarious if I did the same, so I duly stripped to the waist and ran downstairs into the living room waving my arms in the air shouting ....... to find DH sitting talking to the plumber who had kindly popped round to discuss the new central heating we are having installed.

I don't know which part of this whole debacle is the worst. The fact that DH just sat there with his gob wide open, the fact that I just kept running through to the kitchen then hid in the utility room until he was gone, the fact that this man is going to spend almost a week in my house shortly, or the fact that he lives directly across the road from me and his wife cuts my hair.

DH cannot look at me without pissing himself laughing and if he keeps this up I'm he's going to rupture something vital. Does anyone think there's the slightest chance that perhaps the plumber did not notice? Please?

OP posts:
Sidge · 05/08/2011 22:45

Your plumber won't dare to ask for a cuppa for fear that he is offered a biscuit Grin

imnobody · 05/08/2011 22:46

I work as a receptionist in a hotel and i read this while at work.... Thank goodness it was quiet time... well it would have been if i wasn't snorting behind the desk....

Thank you for the laugh, let us know how you get on next time you meet the plumber.... Be worried though if he brings hobnobs with him, he will probably want a rerun Grin

Sidge · 05/08/2011 22:46

Or maybe he'll tell his wife you need a special BOGOF deal for your head hair AND your armpit hair!

Megatron · 05/08/2011 22:49

I am trying to imagine the conversation between me and the plumber when he comes to do my heating. do we chat about the weather? or do I apologise ' oh hello Mr plumber do come in, incidentally I'm terribly sorry for shoving my norks at you and screaming in your face about biscuits the last time you were here, lets move on shall we and check out my boiler'. DH won't be here it'll just be me, him and a hideous memory for both of us.

OP posts:
grinningbee · 05/08/2011 22:49

Can I just say, this is the funniest thread I have ever read, and it really made me laugh out loud. Tried reading it to dh, but got the giggles so bad I had tears running down my face.

I vote we all send a packet of Hobnobs over in the post Grin

ThatVikRinA22 · 05/08/2011 22:57

i say you just pretend it never happened...act completely unperturbed. its either that or you explain....i know which i would do!

i am banking all this advice just in case i ever accidentally flash my norks at a tradesman....

kid · 05/08/2011 22:58

Could your DH have a word with the plumber to break the ice for you. Just get him to say it was a dare or the wasp/spider excuse was a very good one although that might not work considering you were shouting about hobnobs. Could hobnobs be a code name for enormous spider as you don't want to share your 'spider phobia' with your DC?
Best of luck and please do let us know how it goes.

Is his wife a MNer?

nykxx · 05/08/2011 23:05

omg my whole family is sitting here in tears. im so sorry that its at your expense but my god thats the funniest thing i have read in ages.

you couldnt make that up, perfect

i would tell the plumber you want royalties everytime he repeats that story, you will be rich beyond belief!!!!

nykxx

Megatron · 05/08/2011 23:08

I don't know if his wife is a mnetter or not we only really chat up at school. they have 5 children so she might be! I thinlk I have to either pretend it didn't happen or as someone else said, tell folk myself. I know for a fact that none of my friends will be surprised that I've embarrassed myself AGAIN.

OP posts:
HairExtensions · 05/08/2011 23:08

Oh this is the hardest (and loudest ) I've laughed at MN since TSC and the missing bikini bottoms/your minge, your minge thread.

OP I sympathise with your shame but am just in awe. You are LEGEND!!! And I lurve you Grin

corriefan · 05/08/2011 23:14

Hahaha! That's hilarious! Mning in bed trying not to wake dh up by laughing. Love the way you carried on running into the utility room to hide.

kid · 05/08/2011 23:36

Another funny MN thread before was from UCM, I wonder how many people remember that one?

nykxx · 05/08/2011 23:37

im sorry but i had to post a link on my fb!!!! lol

cobyconnel · 06/08/2011 00:20

I have honestly never laughed so much in years! Tears pouring down my face here! Thank you sooo much for that! You must let us know how it goes!

Mumcentreplus · 06/08/2011 00:34

Oh NOOOO!!!...lmaooo shameeee!!...

You poor thing...

....now that's classic..

Respect due...

Mumcentreplus · 06/08/2011 00:35

Lord have mercy!!...

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/08/2011 00:35

Megatron this is an absolute classic. I am crying with laughter.

Have you thought of booking a holiday to outer Mongolia whilst the heating is being fitted?

Mumcentreplus · 06/08/2011 00:40

As Chaka Khan would say...'I feel for you...I think I love you'...Grin

Bogeyface · 06/08/2011 00:46

That is the funniest thing I have heard for ever!

But you definitely need to go for damage limitation to taking the sting out of it, by telling people yourself. Then they are laughing with you and not at you :)

Giggling like a loon here :o

shandyleer · 06/08/2011 01:00

I wonder how the conversation went between Mr and Mrs Plumber when he got home ...

Mrs P: " Are you ok, you look a bit, well, um a bit odd"

Mr P: "Yes, I'm fine. It's just that her over the road ran half naked through the house shouting the odds about HobNobs whilst I was sat in the lounge talking about the new combi boiler to her old man".

Mrs P: "What?"

Mr P: "I said, 'her over the road ........."

Bogeyface · 06/08/2011 01:04

Mrs P: Well i hope you told them that we're not into that!

CardyMow · 06/08/2011 01:16

Here's my cringy story. Many moons ago ten years but who's counting, It was just before Christmas, and I was on my high street after doing some shopping, standing in front of Woolworths Christmas window, chatting to a friend. My DD (3yo at the time) wanted my attention, and in the way toddlers do, was pulling on my skirt. I turned round to do what she wanted me to do, but she was still holding onto my skirt. My skirt fell right down to my ankles. On the high street. On one of the busiest shopping days of the year. About 2000 people saw my oldest greyest scudgiest knickers. My friend STILL pisses herself laughing every time she sees me. Ten FUCKING years later. Blush.

Oh, and I've never worn an elasticated skirt again.

CardyMow · 06/08/2011 01:26

And this HAS to go in classics. I snorted so loud I woke littleloud up. And I'm sitting downstairs and he's in his cot.

mskatemc · 06/08/2011 01:28

That's amazing op.

Sell it to Miranda Hart as a storyline, you'll make a fortune.

saffronwblue · 06/08/2011 02:29

How many apprentices and mates do you think he will show up with tomorrow? I think airy insouciance is the only way to go.