To never leave my house again, never ever ever.

[Megatron]

OK first of all can I just say that I am not some mentalist who normally does this kind of thing but both DC's are out for tea tonight so DH on our own.

DH has a habit of running through the house bare chested beating his chest shouting instructions (I know, I know). It's funny. Sometimes. So this evening I thought it would be hilarious if I did the same, so I duly stripped to the waist and ran downstairs into the living room waving my arms in the air shouting ....... to find DH sitting talking to the plumber who had kindly popped round to discuss the new central heating we are having installed.

I don't know which part of this whole debacle is the worst. The fact that DH just sat there with his gob wide open, the fact that I just kept running through to the kitchen then hid in the utility room until he was gone, the fact that this man is going to spend almost a week in my house shortly, or the fact that he lives directly across the road from me and his wife cuts my hair.

DH cannot look at me without pissing himself laughing and if he keeps this up I'm he's going to rupture something vital. Does anyone think there's the slightest chance that perhaps the plumber did not notice? Please?

That is hilarious Megatron, I tried telling DH but I just kept laughing so I'm not sure how much of it he understood!

I'm need to know what exactly you were saying about the biscuits. I need to know as I will be curious every time I see a hobnob!

Nonno these were hairy bits. My under arms are in need o a shave. actually the fact that he saw my hairy pits may be more embarrassing than flashing my boobs. He'll think I'm unkempt and slovenly. I fear I may have made a bad impression all round.

One morning, about 6.30, I had half dressed, (think top half but not bottom) and went skipping into my living room. Should have been fine, but I had forgotten the previous day the LA had erected scaffolding around the entire building to replace our windows) So there's I , skipping merrily into my living room on the first floor, the be confronted by site manager gazing in. OH. MY.

I had also just done a bit of drastic ladygardening, so was, rather, ah, nude.

I had THREE months of him and his colleagues smirking every time I passed, and every time they had to come to my flat to do the windows.

THE SHAME.

MNHQ have replied. They have to have a conflab before they decide if a thread is worthy of being moved to classics . They don't just do it because we ask .

THANK YOU for cheering me up after a cruddy day!

I can't really remember exactly what I was shouting. Something about demanding my hob nobs or the consequences would be dire or other such drivel. it's too terrible to think about. I need to stop being such a twat and act my age then these things wouldn't occur.

DR - thank you, you have no idea how much better that makes me feel.

oh megatron this is the funniest thing have EVER read! I really don't think that its your stubbly pits the plumber will remember (and be telling his mates about down the pub tonight) though!

Excellent thread - best since used knickers in lunch box.....

Well done!

I am in PAIN from laughing though 7 pages.

you are a legend.

oh and this MUST GO INTO CLASSICS!

It is the best that I have read-probably the only one to make me laugh out loud!

Megatron, I am glad!

It was actually even worse than that, as I was chair of the Residents Association and had to have meetings with him while he smirked evilly - "I know what your fanjo looks like!" kind of took away a lot of my gravitas in negotiating for the tenants.

I moved.

I love you xx

What a great thread! You should have yelled something about "I am woman..", did a jiggle, offered him a pombear THEN run off.

But agree it is classic nonetheless!

Made me laugh so hard! Firstly, lucky plumber and secondly, he's probably gone home to his wife and said "lucky Mr Megatron!". Book your hair appointment before the plumber comes and make it a late one with a bottle of wine and laugh through it!

Oh My God. this made me cry with laughter, and again when I read it out to DH who declared it genius and demanded I post to Facebook. I haven't, Megatron, of course. I think you're hillarious and that your DH is a Lucky Man!!

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread, but that is the funniest thing ever. OP, you are a legend!

I'm going to tell my DH now. We were just watching Miranda on telly and I was trying to explain to him that she is a true roll model because she can pull off the most embarrassing incidents and get away with it, but you are just THE BEST!

I think you should just carry on as normal now, don't mention it to the plumber etc and he'll be wondering whether he dreamt it.

Brilliant! Just Brilliant!

OP, I feel for you, but the chutzpah option is the only way to go. You have to brazen it out.

If someone brings it up, just say vaguely, "Oh yes, that was just me having a laugh" and change the subject. If they don't see that you're eaten up with shame, they won't be able to go on about it.

I love this thread

Hahahaha ! Fabulous !
You need

I have just literally screamed with laughter.

I farking LOVE you.

i am trying to imagine the conversation between the plumber and his wife/mates tonight....

I have had the crappest day but you've just cheered me up no end! Poor, poor you. Obviously you will have to emigratre immediately, but this is right up there with the woman who took her bikini bottoms off at the side of the pool :o