I have tears running down my face- thanks Megatron, this was just what I needed after a crap day!
Want me to share mine?
We had recently moved into the house we are in now and everything was upsidedown and back to front.
I asked my then 4yo daughter to take some underwear upstairs and put it away for me.
She returned two minutes later asking "Mummy whats this?" holding a vibrator which was going full pelt!. I took it off her and said thats Mums toy, you are not to play with it. I hid it in a cupboard and that was that.
Two days later I took her to school, and was sorting out a cupboard, and the vibrator fell out so I thought I'd best get rid.
I took it out to the bin to put it in there. The bins had been emptied that morning, and I lifted the lid and chucked it in. As it hit the bottom it turned itself on, and the noise in an empty bin was HORRENDOUS!! It sounded like a plane taking off.
In my panic I thought to put water on it to try and "drown" it, so I grabbed a bucket and was running back and for with water, until there was enough depth that you could no longer hear the vibrations.
I thought then that I would empty the bin down the drain to get rid of the water.
At this point my next door neighbour came out (had been living in house 10ish days and had only said hello in passing) He said Oh let me help you with that. I said "No its ok", but he said No I insist, its no problem!
With that he hoicked the bin over, the water came out, followed by the vibrator, which rolled into the gutter, gave a sad half hearted buzz, and died.
Absolutely deadpan, my neighbour looked at it, looked at me, and said "Thats interesting!!"
I nearly died on my feet, I didnt know where to look!
I sort of picked it up, mumbled thanks and dragged the bin in.
Its never been mentioned since, but Im sure hes relayed the story more than once