To never leave my house again, never ever ever.

[Megatron]

OK first of all can I just say that I am not some mentalist who normally does this kind of thing but both DC's are out for tea tonight so DH on our own.

DH has a habit of running through the house bare chested beating his chest shouting instructions (I know, I know). It's funny. Sometimes. So this evening I thought it would be hilarious if I did the same, so I duly stripped to the waist and ran downstairs into the living room waving my arms in the air shouting ....... to find DH sitting talking to the plumber who had kindly popped round to discuss the new central heating we are having installed.

I don't know which part of this whole debacle is the worst. The fact that DH just sat there with his gob wide open, the fact that I just kept running through to the kitchen then hid in the utility room until he was gone, the fact that this man is going to spend almost a week in my house shortly, or the fact that he lives directly across the road from me and his wife cuts my hair.

DH cannot look at me without pissing himself laughing and if he keeps this up I'm he's going to rupture something vital. Does anyone think there's the slightest chance that perhaps the plumber did not notice? Please?

PMSL - You are not alone.

While I was having a shower one morning, I heard our doorbell go - I peeked around the shower curtain to see the postman looking through our kitchen window. He got a complete eyeful of the whole shibang

Brilliant, brilliant!

I have an idea - when he is round doing the heating, arrange for your DH to do the same thing so it takes the heat off you not sure how this will help but it might make you feel better

Nearly died laughing here, and forwarded the link to BF.

Good idea, shrinking - but make him do it naked from the waist down.

Half naked biscuit shouting keep up the good work.

Reported.

I have just cackled my way through this thread - and the window's open, so the neighbours (who are in their garden) must think I'm a bit cracked.
Thank You Megatron, Thank You.

Someone did once open a toilet door when I was in there if that helps..........

To MNHQ asking to out this in classics .

not out put!

I think megatron has outed quite enough...

That's the funniest thing I've heard all week!

You should have got to the kitchen, paused for effect, then ran all the way back out again and back up the stairs beating your chest...make it look like you meant to do it!

How very clever of you. This means your new central heating system will be installed in double quick time so that he can get the fuck out of the crazy woman's house. A job which would normally take all week will be done in two days.

Don't believe you!

Oh thank you - I've had an awful day with a 3 year old DD growing horns every 5 minutes and you've cheered me right up!

I recommend the outer hebrides idea, it's the only answer......

Yes, Outer Hebrides is good - St Kilda is totally empty...........

Shiney's whipped cream and fanta thread for Megatron.

Completely hilarious. And I love the fact that the instructions were about bisuits. You loon. Also kudos to the plumber that he just carried on. A true professional.

I have nothing nearly so embarrassing but a few months ago I was holding my toddler nephew and chatting away to his mum (my sister). I heard giggling, looked down and he had pulled my top completely down. I had a rather old saggy bra on. He knew exactly what he was doing and thought it was hilarious. I was so embarrassed.

You have made my night.
.
hob nobs will never be the same again!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm actually crying with laughter. You are wonderful. I was having a crap day until now. I love you a little bit, I really do

It is not in the same category of embarrasingness, but some reason I can't remember, I went through a stage of referring to myself as 'the old man' whenever I was talking to DP. Like, 'Get the old man a cup of tea, will you?'

This was when he was house-sharing, and one night when were alone in the house and in his bedroom he started rough-housing, and I started shrieking, quite loudly, 'Don't put an old man's pants down! Don't rape the old man!! Please, I'm just a poor old man etc'

A little later, his housemates came out of the next bedroom and went quietly downstairs.

!

I think you should go over to the plumbers house tomorrow to explain and take some hob-nobs

Do you think anonymous neighbours will come and start leaving random packets of hobnobs on your doorstep?

Sat here half asleep after a few days away and a long drive home.

Now wide awake and LMAO. Funniest thing ever.

Agree we need to know the instructions and put this in classics.

I would love to know how the plumber talked about thermostats to your DH whilst trying to get your tits out of his head.