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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never leave my house again, never ever ever.

268 replies

Megatron · 05/08/2011 19:01

OK first of all can I just say that I am not some mentalist who normally does this kind of thing but both DC's are out for tea tonight so DH on our own.

DH has a habit of running through the house bare chested beating his chest shouting instructions (I know, I know). It's funny. Sometimes. So this evening I thought it would be hilarious if I did the same, so I duly stripped to the waist and ran downstairs into the living room waving my arms in the air shouting ....... to find DH sitting talking to the plumber who had kindly popped round to discuss the new central heating we are having installed.

I don't know which part of this whole debacle is the worst. The fact that DH just sat there with his gob wide open, the fact that I just kept running through to the kitchen then hid in the utility room until he was gone, the fact that this man is going to spend almost a week in my house shortly, or the fact that he lives directly across the road from me and his wife cuts my hair.

DH cannot look at me without pissing himself laughing and if he keeps this up I'm he's going to rupture something vital. Does anyone think there's the slightest chance that perhaps the plumber did not notice? Please?

OP posts:
justaboutWILLfinishherthesis · 05/08/2011 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shodan · 05/08/2011 19:25

Please, please tell us what the instructions were.

I need more laughs I'm very sympathetic.

Grin
BellaBearisWideAwake · 05/08/2011 19:26

Oh I've absolutely run through my kitchen naked in front of te builder

I'm absolutely no lying

Oh no

WilsonFrickett · 05/08/2011 19:26

OP its not just you, remember there was a thread about someone walking back to their car after dropping of DC at school and she didn't notice DC had pulled her top down to her waist. She wasnt wearing a bra...

That wasnt you too, was it?

shrinkingnora · 05/08/2011 19:27

Just to make you feel better I had my double glazing replaced and realised that when they moved my bed they had found my vibrator. They were in my house for three more long hideously embarrassing days. And my friend's dad ran the company. I have never told anyone that before but I feel you have earned it Grin

TimeForCake · 05/08/2011 19:27

That is just hilarious!! Rofl. Grin Grin Grin
Thank you for sharing that, it's really tickled me!

Megatron · 05/08/2011 19:27

Deep breath. The instructions were not pervy. They were shouted in a deep voice and were about biscuits. Hob nobs to be specific. I'd love to say they were pervy as that makes it sound like a kind of sexy game, but no, biscuits.

OP posts:
xylophone · 05/08/2011 19:27

You won't need to leave your house again, pretty sure they'll all be coming to you in future...

Notalone · 05/08/2011 19:28

OMFG - that is THE funniest thing I have read in such a long time. I think I love you! This must surely be a contender for mumsnet classics. I have nothing constructive to say, am too busy snortling to myself, but would love to know what the instructions were....... Grin

tethersend · 05/08/2011 19:28

Definitely go with identity change and South America. Don't take any chances- I'm pretty sure you could burn your fingerprints off with a candle.

CrystalTits · 05/08/2011 19:29

Could you just check on the plumber - he may still be crouched by your front wall, wheezing with laughter...or scared sh!tless.

I have had a crap day and you have just made it immeasurably better. Thank you

Notalone · 05/08/2011 19:29

Hob nobs and nipples!!!!!!

SlackSally · 05/08/2011 19:30

This is EXACTLY the type of thing I'd do.

In fact, I'm well known for being a bit of a clothes-loser when pissed.

Wouldn't want to do it in front of the plumber though.

Snort.

culturemulcher · 05/08/2011 19:30

Grin Just read this, I'm crying with laughter Grin

MadameLupino · 05/08/2011 19:30

biscuits Grin. You could be an advert for Mumsnet - confident woman with tits and biscuits Grin.

I think laugh it off with him if you can. Course, you're fecked if he's a swinger, he'll be round later after that kind of come-on.

addictediam · 05/08/2011 19:31

You have made my day.

No you are not the only one to do something like that.

vagley remembers hilarious thread about shineoncrazydiamond, whipped cream, being topless and open blinds

LeoTheLateBloomer · 05/08/2011 19:31

Oh Megatron!!! I really think I just peed a little!!! Thank you Grin

MonkeyJungleConga · 05/08/2011 19:32

Totally brilliant! Best thread I've read in ages!

Itsjustafleshwound · 05/08/2011 19:32

Loud applause - thank you for cheering me up.

I am sure the plumber must be concerned what will happen should he get on your bad side ..

Megatron · 05/08/2011 19:32

DCs on their way back now. When I come back, can some of you please, please make me feel better by telling me your embarrassing stories!?

LOVING the vibrator story shrinking Grin.

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 05/08/2011 19:33

Like, 'Buy more hobnobs!' or more like 'Hey big boy, check out my oaty goodness!'?

realslimshady · 05/08/2011 19:34

LOL.

That is all.

shrinkingnora · 05/08/2011 19:35

For the first day I just kept wondering why they were smirking when I spoke to them. And then I realised....

ModreB · 05/08/2011 19:35

Megatron - just be glad that it wasn't the plumber AND his wife sat there. Grin

btw - I read the thread to DH and he cried laughing as well.

aliceliddell · 05/08/2011 19:37

But why are you embarrassed when it was your evil twin running naked through the house? Shrinking, that's really funny. But only if it happened to someone else, not me.

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