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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be keen on "No is a complete sentence"?

30 replies

ChaosTrulyReigns · 05/08/2011 15:32

I can understand the sentiment, but I think if it was said to me I would be a bit shocked at the bluntness of it.

I suppose on here the advice is to use it when someone is taking the piss consistently and is a short sharp end of conversation response?

Does anyone else feel that they would be surprised too hear it in RL without some form of qualification to the "no"?

OP posts:
Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 05/08/2011 15:33

Iyswim?

«confuses self»

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 05/08/2011 15:35

"Does anyone else feel that they would be surprised too hear it in RL without some form of qualification to the "no"?"

no

LineRunner · 05/08/2011 15:36

I get you.

So, if I came up to you and asked you to babysit my DC, and you simply answered, 'No', would I think you were barking?

But then why would I be asking you?

Original poster
ChaosTrulyReigns · 05/08/2011 15:39

Thanks LineR, muchos helpfulness.

Grin

And scurry. Arf. I think.

OP posts:
Itsjustafleshwound · 05/08/2011 15:41

But then, at least I know where I stood!!! Yes, it would be rude, but then again I have a -mum- friend who never says no to things and it is quite a minefield to have to sort out what is actually meant or working out what she actually WANTS to do ...

Sometimes, NO would be good

DeWe · 05/08/2011 15:41

Question: "Do you know the way to the *?"
Answer: "No".
Why should you have to justify that?

scurryfunge · 05/08/2011 15:41

I think if you have previously made yourself clear on certain subjects and the receiver just didn't "get it" despite all your explanations then I would revert to a simple no because that can never be misunderstood.

AgentZigzag · 05/08/2011 15:44

I don't think it's meant literally, but rather that you can say no to someone being a twat to you without having to justify your reasons for saying no?

'I've decided me and your dad will join you on your family holiday' would be a good example of where it should be used.

Angel786 · 05/08/2011 15:48

I think no would be a polite response in those situations... I'd be more inclined to go with an expletive or two!

thesurgeonsmate · 05/08/2011 15:49

Could you fluff it out to "No, I'm afraid not" to fulfil the conversational convention, but without adding any real content?

AMumInScotland · 05/08/2011 15:50

I think it's only really suggested for people who are clearly having trouble saying anything remotely like "No" to their friends and family. People who are being walked all over and don't seem able to say anything which makes it clear they mean "No", not "Yes" or "maybe" or anything else.

PenguinArmy · 05/08/2011 15:50

It's not for normal conversations, but not going further allows you not to be rude (even if it's a bit blunt) and means you don't give a comment that can be misconstrued or used as ammunition.

AgentZigzag · 05/08/2011 15:54

I alway take 'I'm afraid not' as an apology for having an opinion or feeling surgeon, 'I'm sorry but...' it kind of implies you know you're in the wrong and have something to apologise for.

Nagoo · 05/08/2011 15:55

No What?

No Thank You.

that's better.

NotQuiteCockney · 05/08/2011 15:59

Or "I'm afraid not" sounds like you wish it could be otherwise.

The situations in which "no" is a good full answer are the ones where people are trying to get you to do things you don't want to do.

thesurgeonsmate · 05/08/2011 15:59

Well in that case, AgentZ it won't do! To my ear it sounds more assertive than "I'm sorry but", but you're right, if a speaker fears your disappointment they do perhaps sound a bit on the back foot.

Scuttlebutter · 05/08/2011 16:01

I think what the expression is saying is that you don't need to give elaborate explanations or reasons for saying No. So, for instance, you might ask me to babysit and I could say "I'd love to but I'm washing my hair". You will then say "But wash your hair at my place once the kids are in bed," thus depriving me of my handy get out clause Wink

It's perfectly possible to say "No,thanks" in a smiling, polite but firm way. My other favourite is to say "I'm afraid that won't be possible" said politely and with a smile. Just keep repeating. Works very well.

Thistledew · 05/08/2011 16:05

A colleague of mine at work hates it if you say anything other than a simple 'no'.

She will ask "Do you know the answer to X?" and my instinct is usually to say "No, but if you add Y and Z you will probably get X". Her response? "Just say no if you can't do it/ don't know the answer!"

RitaMorgan · 05/08/2011 16:09

"Can you babysit my 5 boisterous children and 2 incontinent dogs this weekend while I go to a festival?"

"No, sorry"

Seems easy enough to me.

OTheHugeManatee · 05/08/2011 16:12

It's perfectly appropriate for chuggers.

'Have you got a moment?'

'No.'

'Can I talk to you for just a few seconds?'

'No.'

All said with a smile.

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/08/2011 16:12

I like "No chance".

ShoutyHamster · 05/08/2011 16:15

'No, never, I would rather die - die die die'

with a smile of course

KatieScarlett2833 · 05/08/2011 16:16

I prefer "Which part of NO do you not understand, the N or the O?"

AgentZigzag · 05/08/2011 16:17

'You must be fucking joking!?' Shock

Gets it across nicely.

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 16:22

DeWe

even in that situation, you normally wouldnt just say "no" and stare blankly would you? Normal social skills would prevent most people from doing that.

I bet you would say,

No, sorry.

Or, No I'm not from round here

Or. No sorry, I'm rubbish with directions.