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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think there's a sudden tendency in AIBU...

462 replies

woollyideas · 05/08/2011 08:46

... for some people to accuse others of 'bullying' or 'attacking' when they have their views disagreed with?

I've noticed a few threads on here in the last couple of days where anyone putting across a contrary view to the OP gets accused of being mean/bullying/personally attacking. I don't like it. Aren't people allowed to disagree anymore?

More to the point, I've noticed that some of the people complaining about 'bullies' are ganging up with each other to 'tell someone off' which comes across as a bit... well... bullying.

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 05/08/2011 14:10

Bloody hell. That was vicious. Yet hilarious too. Can't believe anti bullying charities got called Grin

ARRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CupcakesandTwunting · 05/08/2011 14:13

BjtchyBjuppers. New name I feel.

SarahStratton · 05/08/2011 14:14
Grin

Doesn't work with my name

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/08/2011 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShirleyKnot · 05/08/2011 14:23

HAHAH @ the fraggles being pro-slavery.

They really, really WERE. Shock

Miss Piggy is quite a strong feminist character though apart from all the fluttering of eyelashes at that frog

addressbook · 05/08/2011 14:23

Bullying is a complex and widespread dynamic. For those of you that think it is as simple as 'switch off your computer then', well you don't understand that bulllying can affect people in many different ways.

Some people are vulnerable and for those of you that would persist in goading and piss taking under the guise of being witty or because 'its a free country and all that and we can say what the fuck we like', well yes you are being nasty fuckers.

I know all about bullying. It has made me intolerant of it, but also pretty immune to the playground bullshit. Some people radiate vulnerability and thus are easy prey. They may have been bullied in real life or have low self esteem. It is just words on a screen, but words are a pretty powerful force.

If you feel comfortable with that go ahead. But it isn't the mere disagreement that pisses me off. Of course we all have a variety of opinions and views and a good debate is fine. It is something more than that and I can spot it a mile off.

MadameLupino · 05/08/2011 14:26

I have thought of a Wolef Flaw. In a Wolef pack, only the Alpha female gets to breed. The bonus is that she then has the pesky cubs taken off her paws for most of the time. You may have to pick a more nurturing animal, or we'll have to raise our children as a pack. Either/or

ShirleyKnot · 05/08/2011 14:26

FGS. Please read my post upthread.

You are doing NO ONE any favours by complaining of bullying when people diagree with others on threads. It is a ridiculous thing to say, and I notice that you pop up on many threads saying that people are being bullied.

Seriously.

SarahStratton · 05/08/2011 14:27

If someone is that sensitive they shouldn't be on AIBU in the first place. If you're so sensitive and poor little me-ish that a spat on a fora, with totally unknown people, can affect you to that extent, well a bit of inner reflection would probably be more useful.

Or a backbone.

bananasplitz · 05/08/2011 14:28

I can't help noticing that the so-called bullies on here are all of the politically correct, "Liberal" persuasion. So, no change there then

guardian readers again innit Grin

MadameLupino · 05/08/2011 14:29

Miss Piggy rocks it Ham-Style.
Velma and Daphne let the side down rather. Ditto Betty and Wilma.

ShirleyKnot · 05/08/2011 14:29

Here we go.

SarahStratton · 05/08/2011 14:30

Fuck off Be gone with your Liberal persuasion bullshit. I've never even touched a Guardian.

OTheHugeManatee · 05/08/2011 14:31

How in heaven's name did I miss that bunfight? I only come on MN for the bunfights.

ShirleyKnot · 05/08/2011 14:32

I swear to GOD. Velma is a total feminist.

addressbook · 05/08/2011 14:34

shirleyknot it isn't disagreement I am talking about. Please read my post properly.

I like black you like white fine. I support this political party you support that one fine. You don't think the OP should have had her security light on and she was being unreasonable fine.

But fucking dissecting her posts to make out she is lying and taking the piss. Deliberate goading, humiliating and sneering. No not fine - even as words on a computer screen. There is a difference and I am aware of it so don't patronise me.

But then bullies love to use the tired old defences - I was only having a laugh don't be so sensitive or you are actually the bully because you dared stand up to me Hmm

MadameLupino · 05/08/2011 14:35

Velma is a feminist but gives out a bit of a crap message because nobody ever fancies her. You can't be pretty and have nice tights like Daphne and be clever obviously. That irks me.

scottishmummy · 05/08/2011 14:36

no,mn isnt bullying.it doesnt permeate or affect in the same way.and there is more control and sanction on mn. an ability to distance oneself from it.not like workplace where one has to go,to make ends meet.or a partner one is dependent upon

addressbook · 05/08/2011 14:36

SarahStratton - bullies would love everyone to have more of a backbone. They despise weakness - but in themselves really not others. That is why they bully.

ShirleyKnot · 05/08/2011 14:39

Look.

You do this and leave people with no place to go after "But then bullies love to use the tired old defences - I was only having a laugh don't be so sensitive or you are actually the bully because you dared stand up to me"

You clearly think I am a "bully" I am NOT. If I had an disagreement on a thread with someone and then FOLLOWED THEM AROUND MN going onto every thread they were on shouting the odds over and over again, banging the same old drum then maybe THAT could be called "bullying"

oh..wait.

I think you are projecting - and I truly don't mean this is a horrible way - but you have had a hard time in your life and I think that means you view things in a different way.

It's quite something to call others bullies you know? As I said, you can say that people are being nasty/bitchy whatever, but to be going on about bullying - when it does not happen is wrong.

addressbook · 05/08/2011 14:40

scottishmummy you have a point. Living with a bully without the means to walk away is far worse (been there)

However who knows how online forums such as this and facebook affect vulnerable people?

Words are powerful and some don't or can't just turn off their computer.

addressbook · 05/08/2011 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 05/08/2011 14:47

people need to self regulate,know own cues and triggers.
mn isnt bullying,it can be unpleasant and have high ouch factor- yes. i dont mean to minimise this but on on mn one can
1.can name change.immediate and obvious way bully cant provoke or recognise
2.report to mnhq

in real life (eg not mumsnet words on screen)a bully knows individual and has ongoing access and proximity.this cannot be controlled by the individual

this is quite simply not case on mn.unless one has been too lax about personal details.but internet savvy is to be circumspect

scottishmummy · 05/08/2011 14:51

addressbook,you shouldnt have named someone else to prove your own point.bit intrusive

ShirleyKnot · 05/08/2011 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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