To say that if that woman yells her dog's name One More Time...

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

I shall start sodding barking.

It's a DOOOOOG! It does not bloody understand that when you yell 'FIDO!!' at it, you want it to stop barking!

I can tell this because day in, day out, all I hear is

bark
FIDO
bark
FIDO
bark
FIDO
bark
FIDO

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH

HE DOESN'T BLOODY UNDERSTAND! HE PROBABLY JUST WONDERS WHY YOU KEEP SAYING HIS SODDING NAME!

In the meantime, you are driving me NUTS!!!!!

God, I really needed to say that

Is he really called Fido?

Must be hugely annoying

That has made me snigger.

'HE DOESN'T BLOODY UNDERSTAND! HE PROBABLY JUST WONDERS WHY YOU KEEP SAYING HIS SODDING NAME!'

He'll think she's barking back

and Fido?

From the sounds of it she's definitely barking.

You have my sympathy - I've had this in stereo the last fortnight - neighbour one side has a dog and neighbour the other side is looking after a dog, so visiting stranger dog is being set off by usually quiet resident dog and vice versa like so:-

bark
BRUNO
woof
OSCAR
bark
BRUNO!
woof
OSCAR!
bark bark
BRUNO!!!!!
woof woof
OSCAR!!!!!

you get the picture

I blame the owners.....

No, it's not Fido.

I have changed the name in case she reads mumsnet

Dogs names have been changed to protect the innocent in my post also.

when you shout at a barking dog, he thinks you are joining in

Oh gawd, here she goes again.

The dog hasn't got a bloody clue! He no doubt thinks they're having a chat!

I'm not being funny, but how stupid do you have to be to think that you can yell your dog's name and it will understand what you mean?

FIDO
stop barking

FIDO
come here

FIDO
dinner time

FIDO
walkies

I mean, come on!

Oh dear, dog probably thinks it's a game. Really do not get people yelling at their dogs like that.

Actually the way you teach a dog to woof on command is to say 'speak' (or word of your choice) every time the bark so they associate the word with the action. So she's probably inadvertently teaching him that 'Fido!' means 'bark!' :)

madam

Yes folks, I agree, he's joining in a lovely barking game.

I, OTOH, want to cry...

There was a brilliant cartoon I saw once by the Far Side guy. First frame had a picture of a woman talking to her dog - just chatting away. Second frame had same picture with what the dog was hearing 'Blah blah blah dinner blah blah blah walks blah blah blah..'

And here it is translated from bark into english:-

Hello bird in the tree
FIDO
yes?
FIDO
What?
FIDO
WHAT?
FIDO
I'm here, WHAT?
FIDO
I'm outside taking to the bird!!
FIDO
WHAT??
FIDO
Oh FFS you daft cow

Silly cow. Dog thinks she's joining in and so believes his barking is justified.

Our neighbours do this trying to get their cat in at night.
Honey!
Honey!
Honey!
(repeat until they realise it's a cat and will not come...)

I feel your pain!

I actually moved house and now live somewhere I can barely afford because of this very thing. Except it was X 6. The woman who used to live next door to me in a two bed semi had 6 barky dogs who she used to shout at every 10 seconds. They all had 'proper' names and it used to go like this:

BARK BARK BARK BARK
Shut up Jamie
Shut up Calum
Shut up Stuart
Shut up George
Shut up Alexander
Shut up Cameron
BARK BARK BARK BARK
Shut up Jaime......

She would shout at each dog individually regardless of which one was the barker!

Aaaaarrrggghhh I was driven demented, we had to sell up and leave I was scared that someday I would just snap! It wasn't really the barking that bothered me as much as her shouting.

A simple 'Max, no' works in my house for my barky dog. Could you just shout 'no' when she shouts her dog's name? It could shut the dog up, or she'll think you are answering and will be aware you can hear her. Either way you win!

I so feel your pain we have 2 dogs who bark when someone walks down the alley way with another dog. At which point either me or dp go out and bring them straight back indoors.

However next door neighbour has a JRT who barks from the second she goes to work at 7am till she comes home at 5-6pm its locked indoors all day then the second it goes outside it starts barking out there. It does my head in especially when she says her dog suffers from seperation anxiety. grrrr if you know that you daft woman why not get it some help not leave it loked indoors all day on its own.

They're both barking.

Thanks Andrew

()

When we lived in France the woman two doors down had a border collie, called... wait for it.... 'Border' (pron. 'Bordaire'). So it was all 'Bordaaaaire - viens la ! Bordaaaaaire !!'

My sister used to laugh so hard she couldn't speak every time we saw her.

Myself and DH were getting all loved up the other night when the neighbour opens her window (right beside our window) and shouts SHUT UP ROVER just at the crucial moment.

OP, you must live near me. My neighbour has not only a dog but an army of cats who, come midnight, she proceeds to call at the top of her voice.

She lets the dog out at circa 7am on weekends. It's one of those ratty little things that barks for no apparent reason. And it does. Cue the yelling.

Why she thinks this is acceptable when other people are trying to sleep is beyond me.