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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you if you think...(quite vile for this time of day tbh)

136 replies

OscarLove · 03/08/2011 12:15

that men prefer a shaven or hairy fanny?

I've just started seeing someone new and I feel that tonight (when he's cooking me dinner at his house - very romantic) some serious shagging i reaaaally hope will might occur :o

Desperate? Me?? Nah!!!

So, I was chatting with a male friend yesterday and we are very comfortable with each other and the subject of hairy/shaven fanjo's came up, and he said he can't stand hairy fannies, puts him right off, and most men think like this. Wanker! I have a hairy fanny and now i'm worried that it will kill the moment tonight!!! Help!

OP posts:
eurochick · 03/08/2011 14:17

This topic often comes up on another forum I use with a lot more male posters. The only men who say they don't mind are mid-40s+. Everyone else says they prefer most/all of it off.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/08/2011 14:18

Still giggling at Patrick Stewart's head or the depths of the Amazon Grin

OP you need to do what makes you comfy. I have really sensitive skin and despite trying waxing, hair removal creams, and shaving, as well as exfoliating religiously I get IG hairs (blech) and itchyitchyitchy.

So I just tidy any 'out of swimsuit' areas and leave it at that. And because I am not going to start doing any differently, I wouldn't make exceptions for a first date.

I once, and only once, had a bloke say in media res 'You should start shaving'. Well, there were no more res-es after that, I can tell you.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/08/2011 14:19

Euro my DP is 33 and doesn't mind. Ditto my BILs x 2, who are 27 and 32. (I asked my sisters, not them Blush)

BertieBotts · 03/08/2011 14:20

I'm not 40+ either! I'm 23 - the one who refused was actually the oldest. I think people worry about this more than is necessary.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/08/2011 14:24

Quite obviously, it is NOT the case that most men prefer hairless. Otherwise, we would have evolved differently, given sexual selection and all that. It may be a current cultural preference amongst the younger generation (I am pushing 50) but it ain't natural.

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 14:25

My DP is 30 and exH 32 and they were happy with hair, as has been said it's length thing i think, so shorter is better for access.

Only one person has said anything we were getting it on and he put his hands down my pant and pulled it out alarmed and said 'i think it's weird you don't shave your fanny'. He also said 'i'll only sleep with you if we do anal' - This was our first 'night' The evning ended there, abruptly!

His mates said he spends all his time watching porn! shocker!

JanMorrow · 03/08/2011 14:26

my fella doesn't get a choice.. but I'd say neatly trimmed and shaved around the edges is the best compromise!

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 03/08/2011 14:28

Who gives a shit what he prefers? What do you prefer? And if he dumps you because you have pubic hair you can put i down as a lucky escape from a wanker.

dreamingbohemian · 03/08/2011 14:30

Sarah if it's not to do with porn, how else do you account for changing norms? I hear what you're saying about other cultures but in our own culture there has clearly been a shift from the 1970s, let it all hang loose era, to now where supposedly most young men prefer hairless and definitely there is a huge market in waxing and the like.

I'm not saying it's ALL due to porn but what else accounts for it?

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 14:34

catgirl yes he might end up looking like a budget rapper, having to do his own teeth jewellery!

BertieBotts · 03/08/2011 14:36

ROFL @ budget rapper via vajazzle mishap Grin

GentlemanGin · 03/08/2011 14:37

how many people here shave their armpits ?

GentlemanGin · 03/08/2011 14:37

.. or legs

catgirl1976 · 03/08/2011 14:38

Grin spuddy

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 14:39

dreaming actually more emancipation of women accounts for it too. A lot of women prefer it for oral sex (which is empowering if they are making their onw sexual choices) and while menstruating for hygeine reasons.
Evolution isn't quick enough to catch up with modern technology and while hair protects us from disease, it also holds on to odours. So now we have running water and soap - so much hair is not necessary.
I studied this subject for fetishism at university and there are arguments that porn actually reflects social trends rather than instigates it.
All hair is subject to fashion - look at hair styles and politics. 60's free love hair do's compared with 80's etc. and what was going on socially.

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 14:41

i shave my armpits less than my fanjo - armpit hair doesn't affect my sex life!

FlamingFanjo · 03/08/2011 14:41

@gentlemangin....really? you have to ask?

TeamDamon · 03/08/2011 14:43

I am Shock at this thread! It literally never occurred to me in my young, free and single days to ask (myself or anyone else) this question and it never seemed to bother any bloke I was with in the slightest that I had - er - pubic hair. As did they. Due to being post-pubescent and all Hmm

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 14:45

team actually waxing for men is also on the rise. I interviewed many beauticians and researched this at uni. It appears men don't like being hairy either.

When i met my DP he shaved his chest and I have to beg him to grow a beard. (i love a hairy man!)

HedleyLamarr · 03/08/2011 14:59

The first time I saw a bald one I was Shock! I don't have a preference. Although one woman was so overgrown if I'd not shaven that evening I'd have been stuck down there like velcro Grin. Shaved my face I mean.

BertieBotts · 03/08/2011 14:59

I shave my armpits because the hair seems to trap odours. And I suppose because armpit hair is more visible. I don't shave my legs though, and about to go out in a skirt today! I have quite fair hair though so I suppose it's less noticeable.

I agree about the period point as it can be unpleasant when the hair gets all matted, but I use a mooncup now so it doesn't really come into contact with it at all.

dreamingbohemian · 03/08/2011 15:06

Spuddy that's very interesting, thank you.

I'm not sure I buy it entirely though. You don't need to be completely hairless for better oral sex or less odour, surely there is still an aesthetic component of it -- and it seems to me that this aesthetic standard is being determined more by men than by women (as this thread in some ways indicates!)

Also waxing is an investment, money-wise, time-wise, pain-wise -- siting this within the concept of greater emancipation just sounds a bit, well, off. Surely as women become more free they would discard more beauty rituals, not take on more?

TimeWasting · 03/08/2011 15:10

I couldn't give a fuck what men prefer, it's my vulva.

Ormirian · 03/08/2011 15:12

"Surely as women become more free they would discard more beauty rituals, not take on more?"

yes. Which is why I fail to see the 'well men are doing it more these days' as less than comforting.

dreamingbohemian · 03/08/2011 15:14

Totally agree Ormirian, sometimes I worry we will groom ourselves to death as a species