Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that people would stop (mis)diagnosing themselves?

164 replies

AKMD · 03/08/2011 10:14

Why do so many people diagnose themselves or their children with illnesses that they do not have? For example:

"Oh, I have asthma" = you are unfit and so get out of breath easily when you do have to run for that bus.

"I am allergic to broccoli" = you just don't like broccoli.

"I have a migraine" = you might have a headache but if you had a migraine you would be at home in bed with the curtains drawn, unable to attend this party.

"DS has ADHD" = your DS is spoiled to death, you set him no boundaries and so he runs riot.

Inevitably, when sympathised with and asked when they were diagnosed the reply is "Oh, I haven't seen the doctor about it, I just know." Hmm They have no idea what life is like for people who actually do have these conditions and their laziness and exaggeration make it incredibly difficult for real sufferers to be believed or accommodated for. It makes me so cross - AIBU?

OP posts:
ChrisPBacon · 03/08/2011 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 03/08/2011 12:43

Dear crispy, if you do actually read that, you'll see that the consensus was that it wasn't shit stirring, and the OP took it back. Hmm

Your comment definitely is 'shit stirring.'

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 12:44

My DP says he has asthma and is allergic to stuff when he isn't. His mum told him he was as a child so he wouldn't leave the house or go to friends houses and leave her alone (emotionally distant husband/father - locked himelf away and rarely spoke to them, DP an only child both parents at home all day living off rental from their buy to lets in the 80's boom).

He insists he has a peanut allergy but eats them if they are undetected in food all the time and feels fine. if i point out he has eaten something he panics and throws up (he genuinely believes he is allergic as to admit he wasn't would be to admit his mother is a loon and destryed his childhood).

Then because he has been sick he see's that as proof he is allergic. even if i point out allergic reactions are different symptoms. His 'asthma' also emerges if he is out of breath from exercise (like we all are) but is cured by rubbing a bit of vics on his chest.

All very sad really.

ChrisPBacon · 03/08/2011 12:51

read the OP
read a bit where others said this thread was fine actually
OP back tracked a bit, so?

to be clearer Ellen, shoving a thread like that into the ether, while the original is still in existence and doesn't seem to be going bad, is blatant shit stirring IMO

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 03/08/2011 12:55

It wasn't on the main board though, so not shit stirring.
More returning to a group who are aware of the issues involved through first-hand experience, and asking what they thought.
And unlike many threads on the main boards, listening to, and considering the responses.
Then reconsidering. Which is what the OP of the thread has done.

FrenchRuby · 03/08/2011 12:55

I get annoyed with the OCD self diagnosis (mentioned on page 1, I've not read the rest of the thread yet). 'Oh I like my house tidy, Im a bit OCD like that' Um..no you're not. My Sister in law has OCD and I've seen how it affects her everyday life and it's horrible. She has to wash her hand 37 times everytime she touches something dirty and if she loses count she starts again (this has resulting in her hands being covered in sores).She checks if plugs are turned off or doors are locked over and over and over until someone has to stop her from doing it. Same with if she has her keys and phone. So someone being a bit neat freak about the house being tidy is incomparable.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 03/08/2011 12:58

Thank you Goblin, you put it much more eloquently! Smile

thetasigmamum · 03/08/2011 13:00

FrenchRuby I know exactly where you are coming from. I find it insulting to my DDs (and, indeed, to myself) when someone with slightly untidy handwriting declares themselves 'a bit dyspraxic' with no idea of what the condition really means.

chipmonkey · 03/08/2011 13:04

I get migraines where I get visual disturbances but no headache. I can function as much as one can do when half of your visual field has disappeared but have never had to stay at home in a darkened room.

Ds1 has ADD ( not hyperactive) It has been diagnosed several times by EdPsychs and a Psychiatrist but the school still treat me as though it was caused by bad parenting. Oddly enough, none of my other 3 children has it.Hmm

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 13:30

I hear that now, if parents allow their child to be put on Ritalin it automatically leads to a grant of DLA

Oh purlease!

Yep its that easy.

Nothing about applying for DLA is 'automatic'

revolutionscoop · 03/08/2011 14:19

Personally I think google has a lot to answer for... My db is a gp & is forever moaning about patients who come in having self-diagnosed miscellaneous conditions on the Internet & won't be persuaded otherwise. My personal bête noire however, is people who try to diagnose others in a gossipy way, especially other people's children, speculating about their possible AS or ADHD etc Mind your own business!

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 03/08/2011 14:29

I see what you mean, revolution, but I, personally, have found the Internet invaluable. Even if you get a DX, that's all you often get, a DX, especially with invisible disabilities that cannot be medicated.

"So, your DC has X, Y or Z. Sorry about that, it's for life, nothing I can do. Off you go."

The Internet is where you find out the support groups, the therapies, your rights, because no-one sits you down and tells you.

brighthair · 03/08/2011 14:31

people that don't differentiate between an allergy and an intolerance annoy me. I was allergic to eggs. Mum breastfed me after eating (unknowingly) eggs and I stopped breathing. Someone said to me "oh I am allergic to eggs to, they give me stomach ache" Confused no, that would be an intolerance..... or maybe your eggs were off!

and flu - I got norovirus followed by flu last year - I couldn't do anything for 10 days and lay in bed crying because my legs were so sensitive (weird flu side effect I get!). I was projectile vomiting, couldn't keep anything down, freezing cold but burning hot, pouring with sweat...

babybarrister · 03/08/2011 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bumbleymummy · 03/08/2011 15:43

brighthair - Flu can be mild though. Not everyone is floored by it. It's the same with any virus. Some people will get very sick, some will have a mild dose and others will fight it off and gain immunity without showing any/very mild outward signs of it.

ChrisPBacon · 03/08/2011 16:55

I should make it clear that my message above at 1240 was NOT withdrawn at my request.
message withdrawn because it was a bit too accurate and it didnt suit the spin of one or two members would be nearer the mark
Reluctant to revive the thread as nobodys going to post when theres backbiting going on elsewhere on MN simultaneously, but to pretend that I requested a deletion of a fair point to save someone elses blushes is out of order

welshbyrd · 03/08/2011 16:57

Completely agree with you OP
The worst is eg, DD has ADHD traits Hmm
What is that about?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 03/08/2011 17:20

my DD probably has ADHD. She is NOT badly behaved, just has no concentration. Wish people would stop spouting claptrap.

BalloonSlayer · 03/08/2011 17:20

Flu can be mild though. Not everyone is floored by it.

... umm ... that'd be a cold then.

Influenza is very serious and kills people. Colds and bugs are the ones that don't floor you.

molepom · 03/08/2011 17:43

People who say they have a migraine when they just have a bad headache. If you have a migraine - you will bloody know about it and you certainly wouldnt be stood by my front door telling me about it.

molepom · 03/08/2011 17:47

x-posted as I skim read the thread so please disregard that last comment. Will read properly then comment again.

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 18:41

My son has OCD diagnosed and over a year of CBT. I find it comforting to have people say "I'm quite OCDish about this" it kind of normalises OCD and shows that everyone has some parts of their lives where the imitate OCD behaviours.

My son's first homework for the CBT for his OCD was to find adults who do OCD type kind of behaviours and ask them about it. Things like I have to lock up the kitchen in a clockwise direction. I don't have OCD.

On that I don't mind.

unpa1dcar3r · 03/08/2011 18:51

Nothing about applying for DLA is 'automatic'

Hear hear. If anyone has had the misfortune to need to complete one of these war n peace novels forms they'd probably have a stroke, they're a freaking nightmare for a start and if any one seriously thinks it comes easily, they clearly have never tried to get it...I have to redo 2 (2 SLD kids) every couple of yrs, like I forgot to give them that magiccure pill I lost down the side of the sofa, damn n blast my memory!!! They have a genetic condition which one can clearly see under a microscope and for which there is no cure but despite this the process has to be gone through laying your childs dignity out for some bureaucrat pen pusher behind a nice little desk to either make or break them with their, often misinformed and ignorant, decision.
And as dramtatic as that sounds, that be the rotten truth of DLA forms!

bedheadz · 03/08/2011 19:18

Were does the belief that Aspergers/ASD = Badly behaved child come from?

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 19:30

Where does the belief that Aspergers/ASD = Badly behaved child come from?

I have one of the few children who can't tell lies. He has HF ASD.
You have no idea how many times that has got me into trouble for being honest! I would still take 10 of my child before some of the so called "normal" ones

Swipe left for the next trending thread