to wish that people would stop (mis)diagnosing themselves?

[AKMD]

Why do so many people diagnose themselves or their children with illnesses that they do not have? For example:

"Oh, I have asthma" = you are unfit and so get out of breath easily when you do have to run for that bus.

"I am allergic to broccoli" = you just don't like broccoli.

"I have a migraine" = you might have a headache but if you had a migraine you would be at home in bed with the curtains drawn, unable to attend this party.

"DS has ADHD" = your DS is spoiled to death, you set him no boundaries and so he runs riot.

Inevitably, when sympathised with and asked when they were diagnosed the reply is "Oh, I haven't seen the doctor about it, I just know." They have no idea what life is like for people who actually do have these conditions and their laziness and exaggeration make it incredibly difficult for real sufferers to be believed or accommodated for. It makes me so cross - AIBU?

'I hear that now, if parents allow their child to be put on Ritalin it automatically leads to a grant of DLA'

Where did you hear it - the daily fail?

If you have medication that controls your condition, for DLA purposes, you no longer have the problems associated with that condition and your DLA gets removed. Same for social services.

Starlight from a friend that works for the DWP actually. Can't stand the daily fail except as tongue in cheek humour.

Also starlight my younger brother was briefly on Ritalin (it had absolutely no effect on him so my mum stopped giving him it) yet it didn't stop or alter his DLA entitlement at all.

You cannot be diagnosed with ASD by pushing for it. I am sorry but I will simply NOT have that.

Yep my DC has ASD but he wasnt dx till he was 7 due to his other ishooos.

But I work in a team that diagnoses children with ASD so I think I am in a fairly good position to comment.

You will not get a dx of ASD if you have a 'naughty' child. Do you actually understand what ASD is?

Its like saying you will get a dx of blindness if you refuse to learn to read

Of course there are people that self dx. I grew up with one. My DM did and does and she does it to other people and I therefore have a deep seated hatred for ignorant collecting of illness and conditions. BUT there is a big difference between someone being annoying and going on about their bodily functions/making excuses for being a lazy parent AND pushing to get a dx and support for your child.

Perhaps those who work in childcare who think that children are overdiagnosed with certain conditions think this because they dont know as much as they think they do?

Perhaps they think that little Johnny doesnt have ASD because they need to be better educated about ASD?

For the record it is very common for children not to display certain behaviours at school/nursery but be very challenging at home.

e.g. my DS has yet to break into the kitchen at school at eat a pound of sugar. Doesnt mean he doesnt do it at home. Perhaps he doesnt do it at school because he is never left alone and the kitchens have a great big locked door?

I am not going to say that you shouldnt discuss this sort of thing. I know people that talk utter crap about themselves and their kids but I think you should be aware of how hard it is to get a dx for a child and the sort of stigma that is attached to it. Therefore dont be suprised if other posters get narked.

My personal bugbear is people saying they have OCD.

My best friend had severe Pure "O" OCD. Please note I said she had it. She was so desperate for it to stop that she threw herself under a train. It is not something "trendy" to have.

Well I hope your friend isn't responsible for deciding on allocation or DLA.

I can see how ritalin (only available from a paed) would raise significant red flags and add to a case of DLA claim, but it does not automatically lead to an award. In fact, there appears to be no real criteria that leads to an award. The answer is usually 'no, let's see if the parents will appeal and whether they can afford to pay independent experts'.

This could explain alot! My ds has a nut allergy - tested & proven! But when I tell ppl they say "how do you know" "have you been to drs" etc urmm yes I know because he's had a reaction before and nearly died, got tested by a allergy specialist etc. They seem 'happy' then but why should I have to go into detail and prove myself everytime?

Ah yes, the assumption that you have made up a dx, because someone who is not medically trained has seen your child for 5 minutes on a good day induces the rage in me Youdothemath

DS1 has ADHD, actually really has it, we saw a nice man with letters after his name and everything, but because my neighbours mother saw DS1 sitting in front of the Playstation for 20 minutes engrossed in a game, i must have made it up. Because bright flashing lights, movement, constant challenge and reward and noise couldn't possibly be enough to engage a child who really has ADHD. Everyone knows it is only the kids who run around constantly, screaming and punching people who have that

I disagree with you (as a migraine sufferer). When mine peak, they can go on for many days and have many a week, I stay home for the worst of it but the rest of the time, I go out and about. As long as not vomiting, as I'm not that light sensitive. But they are migraines, you know, proper ones that the neurologist treats seriously and all that. The medication also makes them manageable. I think it's strange to say you can't have a mild migraine and be up and about, as clearly you can!

Where do you all meet these people making claims about undiagnosed conditions?

I've a fairly wide group of friends, even wider of aquaintances, I've had quite a lot of experience of SENs (in schools).

I've never met anyone who claimed to asthma or an allergy without having reason to, I've met one woman who does decide her children have ADHD/Autism/various other disabilities merely on what seems like a whim, but tbh that's the least of her issues and she has social services and a few other support agencies involved anyway.

I've never met another parent who claims that their child has or may have ADHD without there being sound medical professionals involved in some way. So where are all these people that other posters seem to know?

Oh how awful LadyFlump. Sorry.

well soem just love a drama in their life and unless you are an expert yourself how can you tell if a child has ADHD or not

but migraines do not make you bed bound for days (well not for everyone) you feel them coming on (i always crave chips and egg). the same with flu when i had it of course i could nto get out of bed but when i felt better but was still ill i had to get out of bed, to get food to feed myself and ds

disagree with migraine comment, migraines vary substantially. i get migraines (confirmed by consultant) that just come on very suddenly and are really intense and i have to close my eyes and sit down but they last a few minutes max but i feel a bit funny for a while afterwards. im not completely incapacitated except for those few mins.

with regards the adhd its a difficult one. its hard not to be judgemental sometimes we sometimes judge and assume its just an excuse for shit parenting but the child could have adhd and just happen to have shit parents as well.

AKMD Wed 03-Aug-11 10:36:29
Starlight this is true. I heard a programme on the radio yesterday where a woman with a son with ADHD was talking about how hard it was to get a diagnosis. This makes me doubly cross that people make it up.

I got this far and stopped in my tracks. I have a good friend whose 7yo son was 'diagnosed' with ADHD based on a five minute consultation with CAMHS. They spoke to her for 20 minutes and saw him for 5. She doesn't think he has it - school sent her.
I don't think he has it either. They are VERY quick to diagnose it here, my mother worked in a parallel field so had referrals from them for years and hates the way they do it.

I also self diagnosed when I had something fairly serious and got laughed at by various GPs and a nurse...until the results came back positive. I wish they had been right and I'd just been an overanxious fool.

I get people doing this when I tell them my son is severely lactose intolerant, and have had people witter on at me about "fashionable allergies" and self-diagnosis etc. Er, no, that would be the 2 years of tests, the paediatric consultant, the failure to thrive diagnosis and the developmental delays amongst other things.
Really pisses me off.

As with anything, there will be a massive variation between PCTs in how they treat referrals. With DS1, I couldn't even get the doctor to agree to a referral to the child psych until I had filled in a questionnaire from them and taken in supporting evidence from the school to show that his behaviour occurred in more than one environment.

Once I got that referral, it took 8 months until we had an appointment through. We had loads more questionnaires to take in with us which had to be filled in by pretty much everyone who had a reasonable amount of contact with DS1 and were then observed in the waiting room for a while before seeing the ed psych, who spent an hour with us going through the questionnaires and generally observing DS while we were there.

I have no doubt that those observations were as much about watching me as watching DS, to see if my parenting was causing or contributing to his issues. Which was fine with me, as I wanted nothing more than to be told that I was a bit crap and here was a course i could go on to learn how to do better,but DS was perfectly fine and 'normal'. He isn't, so I wasnt told that. He does have ADHD. Even with the screening to weed out the 'creative excuse' parents,there was still piss all support available to us after the dx.

"I have a migraine" = you might have a headache but if you had a migraine you would be at home in bed with the curtains drawn

Not necessarily. I always suffered with dreadful migraines (have been hospitalised twice as they suspected brain tumour) and still had to get up and get on with it.
That's what having 2 SLD children and no support from crappy SS does for you!!
Glad to say i don't really get them now all me giblets have been removed.

Starlight - Thank you. It was rather awful.

Another one sticking up for migraine sufferers! I get them when I'm pregnant and am going through a spate of them at the moment. About 2 hours ago I got the "aura" which basically means I go blind in my right eye. I was on here, and stayed until I couldn't see any more, then I went and had a lie down. I've now just got a very mild headache. But it's definitely a migraine. Tomorrow, I may go bliind for a bit, then get the headache from hell for four-five hours and NEED to be in a darkened room. Same condition, but each one varies.

I have to say, i am guilty of telling people i have an allergy to bell peppers. I can't fucking STAND the taste of them and telling people i don't like them just doesn't work. Ever. This is how the conversation goes generally....

Them - "How can you not like Peppers? Have you tried them? What colors have you tried, you might like the other colours?"

Me - "Yes i have tried them, a while ago, but i really really didn't like them"

Them - "Well maybe your tastes have changed. Go on have a bite" shoves disgusting pepper in face

Me - gag puke "no really gag i really really DO NOT LIKE PEPPERS"

Them - "maybe you should try them cooked. Your tastes might have changed since you were younger. Peoples tastes change as they age donchaknow??"

person then proceeds to put peppers in dinner regardless/try and disguise peppers in the salad thinking i won't notice/tell me the red peppers are actually just tomatoes , meanwhile i starve to death in a corner and feel rude for not eating the dinner they cooked

I hate them enough to send things dinner back in restaurants, where there is no mention of peppers on the menu, but the main course comes with a stonking great roast pepper in the middle!!!!!! So no ammount of person trying to trick me into eating peppers is going to wor.

So sometimes, i understand why people just say "i'm allergic". It can make life SO much easier.

I have an allergy to chocolate. If I keep eating it It makes me really fat If I don't eat it loads, I don't get fat. therefore I must be allergic to it.
I also have an allergy to exercise. if I do exercise I ache all over the next day so therefore I must be allergic to it.

DH suffers migraines too. He has to get on with it. He takes the medication, doses up on painkillers and goes to work. Sometimes it takes hold and he has to go to bed for a couple of days but he is diagnosed (by a neurologist) and medicated (by a specialist) and has to earn a living.

In fact, the job he does now, he interviewed for with a migraine and it was still uncontrolled by medds so he had to nip out of the interview twice to vomit.

So you can't make assumptions about migraine sufferers. They're a spectrum illness and people have to learn to live with them. My Mum was the same pre-hysterectomy and hers lasted for days. She had to get up and take care of us/go shopping/do the school run.

The flu thing's annoying though. In 30yrs I've had flu twice and I couldn't get out of bed the first time and needed help getting to the toilet, certainly couldn't have walked further than that. Second time round I genuinely don't remember most of it.