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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 03/08/2011 12:04

Hey, eyebrows. It isn't me. Just saying.

redlac6 · 03/08/2011 12:05

how did you find out where he lived? Did you go round your whole area looking for him?

Also find it very strange that one of the boys woke up in a tent in a back garden and heard a conversation at the front door Hmm

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 12:07

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Quiet ironic really when ILT and Cupcakes are calling me a liar based on fresh air, but then they are accusing me of being rude.

I love irony. Grin

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 12:07

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows I'm confused.

Narketta · 03/08/2011 12:07

I wish I lived where you do OP!

When a group of 15-18yr olds from a street away from us were throwing lumps of slate, kitchen knives and various other bits of heavy metal into our back garden when my DC were playing out I called the police and was told that it had gone down as a priority case but we didn't get a visit until 2 days later and it was a community support officer that called.Confused

Solo · 03/08/2011 12:08

I think you can set some security lights to being on constantly or to just coming on at movement ahead of the sensor on it. That was how my original one worked. You did though, have to climb up and move a switch on the actual light unit itself.

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 12:08

That sounds like a 'hole' to me!!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 03/08/2011 12:08
Shock

That is all

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 12:09

Show me where I called you a liar? Or rude?

spudulika · 03/08/2011 12:09

"I wasn't going to be bullied and reward the threat by turning if off immediately"

"I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains".

He asked you to turn a light off that you didn't need on because - rightly or wrongly - it was bothering him. You responded by telling him he was 'being ridiculous'. You were rude and dismissive. Where's your sense of tact? You were dealing with a neighbor. How stupid to antagonize someone you live next door to.

And then you wasted tax-payers money by getting the police involved.

Pathetic.

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 12:10

Why do people have sympathy for the neighbour because hes old?

Some people are arseholes.......they get old and become old arseholes.

cloudydays · 03/08/2011 12:11

Your son's friends sound like such nice kids, going by your previous thread. Their parents probably have worked hard to teach them how to be kind, and polite, and respectful of others.

If one of them was mine, and I'd sent him off for a campout where the supervising adult had displayed such rude, disrespectful, aggressive and intimidating behaviour toward a neighbour (particularly an elderly or otherwise vulnerable person), I would be absolutely furious.

And the pity for your own son would be that I would not allow mine to stay at your place ever again.

BeerTricksPotter · 03/08/2011 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 12:13

Agressive and intimidating??

I rather fancy the neighbour threatening to come back at 3am was being agressive and intimidating!

spudulika · 03/08/2011 12:13

"Some people are arseholes.......they get old and become old arseholes"

Yes - this world is full of arseholes.

Which is why learning a bit of tolerance and not coming over all huffy and self-righteous at the first sign of trouble is a GOOD THING TO DO.

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 12:14

Spud...maybe thats what the neighbour should have done then?

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 12:16

Op keeps saying he's not a neighbour. She has only just discovered where he lives.......I'm wondering how she knew where to send the police round to?

spudulika · 03/08/2011 12:16

"Spud...maybe thats what the neighbour should have done then?"

Yes - he should have done. But he didn't. And neither did the OP.

Both as bad as each other.

Scholes34 · 03/08/2011 12:19

Glad I don't live next to either.

Tabliope · 03/08/2011 12:20

I'm finding it hard to picture where this neighbour is in relation to your house. You say he's not close yet I don't understand why he wouldn't complain if it wasn't affecting him - light bounces and reflects off all sorts of things so maybe light was getting into to his bedroom. I know he was still watching TV at that point, according to you, but maybe he'd been kept awake the previous night and was dreading going up to bed again, knowing he'd be kept awake another night.

I did feel a bit sorry for you and your DS when I read the other thread but leaving the light on for an hour was antagonistic and unnecessary. I have been affected by these lights. The one at the back of me lights up my son's old bedroom like it's Colditz. He's now moved into the front bedroom. I had thought about going round to the neighbour at the back and mentioning it but these days you never know what reaction you'll get. While I have a bedroom at the front also, so technically shouldn't be affected by this light when it comes on (only once or twice a month but it's left on overnight), if my bedroom door is open (I like it open as just me and DS in the house so like to hear in case anyone gets in) the light reflects off the tiles in my bathroom and the shower curtain (hard to believe I know) and that does keep me awake as I see it out the corner of my eye.

You would have to declare any trouble with a neighbour. It doesn't just have to be next door ones.

I hope your DS and friends have their sleepover again but I'd do what others suggest - buy some proper camping lights so this neighbour isn't affected again.

honeybehappy · 03/08/2011 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

bananasplitz · 03/08/2011 12:25

who has the "did the dramallama follow you home last night" picture Grin

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 12:26

I'm off to read the 'other' thread.... It's a slow day here today!

aprilbear · 03/08/2011 12:30

I agree with cloudydays. I think this is an appalling example to set to young people. And in fact if the ASD is relevant anywhere- surely it's on exactly that point. The ds was supposedly highly anxious and camping out was an amazing achievement. If that were my ds, I would have dealt with the situation with the least fuss possible, switching the offending light off, popping a torch quietly in beside the sleeping teens and enabling them to sleep soundly through the night. Given that sunrise is about 4am right now, I doubt they'd even need the torch!
Instead, the op turned a tricky situation into a full on confrontation, woke up the sleeping teens, called the police (hmm, wonder how she explained the police calling round to her autistic son) and basically ensured the Entire experience was pretty dire for all the boys. And the op thinks its 'success'! Hm- doubt the poor boys agree!

scurryfunge · 03/08/2011 12:31

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