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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 11:45

Don't be so smug op! A quick google reveals security lighting is beginning to be considered a problem and legal action is becoming more frequent!

Kladdkaka · 03/08/2011 11:46

Woke and could hear a brief conversation at the front door from ìnside a tent in the back garden? I think there's a bit of creative story telling going on here.

CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 11:47

Anyway, I thought security lights were supposed to be activated when it sensed an intruder presence in the garden, like a luminous "GOTCHA!" I didn't realise they were suppsed to stay on all night, like a light from an Auscwitz watchtower.

I said Auschwitz. Sorry.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 11:48

I think you were both in the wrong in your own ways.

You for not considering the neighbours in the first place. Those security lights can be very bright unless you have a particularly dim one. And for telling him that he was ridiculous (although saying that if he was really rude I might of done the same)

Him, well, because if he is complaining about a security light 2 rows of houses away then he has problems! (Unless you have incredibly short gardens/houses at an angle or something so that actually you are very close to each other). Oh and of course he shouldn't be going around threatening people. That would have really scared me.

Whatmeworry · 03/08/2011 11:49

There are two ways to resolve this:

  • one involves going over and chatting to the neighbour, sorting something out, buying a small light on an extension cors or something and having loads of garden campouts with happy neighbours.
  • the other involves calling the cops, pissing off the neighbours, making it into a total drama so the poor kid thinks he's started WW2 with wanting to camp outside.

Which of these has the better outcome for the kids and the whole neighbourhood?

And so why, oh why, choose the other option?

SnapesMistress · 03/08/2011 11:50

You can still get a good breeze going with the curtains shut, I always shut my curtains, last night had all wimdows and doors upstairs open so there was still airflow, it would never occur to me not to shut my curtains on a hot night.

Also sometimes things are not quite ideal and you have to just suck it up, it is not reasonable to go and have an argy bargy every time you are put out a bit.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 11:50

To the budding Colombos out there time for another post time check.

Police have called in just now they've had a word with him, not to leave threats that the lady doesn't appreciate it and if he comes back then they will take it further. He has assured them he will never knock my door again. SUCCESS!!

The miserable old goat wasn't even asleep, he was downstairs watching the television and could see the light, police explained that they had seen my light which is pointing downwards not outwards, they had said when he complained the first time I had made sure the electrician fitted it properly and that I had tried to be reasonable about that.

It wasn't keeping him awake as I knew it couldn't have been from the positioning of the houses. He wasn't even being kept awake he watching his television!!

He has said he is going to the council about the light, but police don't think the council will do anything at all about it.

OP posts:
CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 11:51

"And so why, oh why, choose the other option?"

Is the correct answer 'some people like drama'?

CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 11:52

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Message deleted by Mumsnet.

SoupDragon · 03/08/2011 11:53

"He has assured them he will never knock my door again. SUCCESS!!"

Oh, how naive. Surely you can see the glaring loophole in that?

BTW, don't forget to declare this if you want to sell your house.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 11:53

Gissa with hindsight I should have gone to Go Outdoors and bought some lights, that will happen for the next one, if there is a next one, I wouldn't blame the kids for not wanting another.

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 03/08/2011 11:55

Did you tell the police that you'd left the light on all night even though the children were inside to antagonise your neighbour further?

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 11:56

The police are offering a lot of opinions here

At training school we were taught to keep those to ourselves and remain impartial to all parties. If it gets into a legal wrangle then police don't want to be 'quoted'

Very odd!!

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 11:56

Snapes thanks. Grin

one child was still awake and heard the threat, then we had to wake up the other two and get them inside.

It's all good now, he won't be threatening me again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 11:57

Christine it wasn't on all night he complained at gone one, I left in on for another hour.

OP posts:
spudulika · 03/08/2011 11:58

"And so why, oh why, choose the other option?"

Because some people just love to be RIGHT and be acknowledged to be RIGHT. Even if a) the situation is resolved easily and b) bringing in outside agencies costs the tax payer hundreds of pounds and wastes police time.

OP - if it had been me I would have just said 'sorry' and turned the light off. The kids didn't need it on and it was bothering the neighbor - rightly or wrongly.

Where's the harm in turning the other cheek, other than to your ego?

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 11:59

Why did you leave it on fir another hour op?

Can you answer that at least?

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 11:59

I don't think it is that staggering ILT that they told me he was going to the council but it was just one night so not to worry about it.

You really are scratching around here to find flaws but there won't be any as if you're telling the truth you can't be caught out.

Feel free to keep trying though.

OP posts:
CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 12:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 12:01

ILT Because I had just been threatened and admittedly thought I wasn't going to be bullied and reward the threat by turning if off immediately. After an hour it went off.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 12:02

So you antagonised the situation......did you tell the police that?

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 12:02

soup I wont have to declare it if I sell the house, he is not a neighbour as previously explained. He doesn't even back on to my house.

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 12:03

That's a least twice now that you've called "bullshit" Cupcakes. I must admit that I find it really distasteful when people call each other liars on here. If you don't believe someone just don't post. It's really hurtful to write something that has happened to you and to have someone come along, not believe you and call you a liar over an over.

BeerTricksPotter · 03/08/2011 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spuddybean · 03/08/2011 12:03

snapes i think there is a tendancy to presume everyone has the same stuff/outlook as you (i know i do it often). But personally we do not have curtains, we have heavy blackout blinds so it is not still possible to get a good breeze going with them down.

and mitmoo i don't think you can say he wont be threatening again for a definite. Just because the police talk to someone it often doesn't change their behaviour.

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