to go out to communal garden and leave baby in flat?

[curiouskitten]

Name changed as I'm not sure if this will leave me in line for a flaming.

I live in a small block of flats. Communal garden at back. WIBU to go out into garden with baby monitor while baby is asleep in the evening? She is a good sleeper. Flat is very secure, fire alarms fitted.

Wondering what the general consensus is here? I will listen to mumsnet opinion.

Christine is right that risk is not a matter of opinion. It is a statistical fact.

When people fear things that are statistically very unlikely to happen, that is irrational.

When people don't fear things that are statistically quite likely to happen, usually because of familiarity, that is also irrational.

Everyone has irrational fears, I certainly do. But I recognise that they are irrational and do not attempt to limit other people's behaviours, by insisting that my (irrational) approach is the "correct" one. Instead I try to squash down my fear and get on with life, and allow others to do the same.

So christine & orange when statistically do you feel that something is low risk enough to do it? 1 in a hundred? 1 in a thousand or 1 in a million?

What to you counts as low risk? Do you check the statistics before you do anything or make any decisions? What if one person thinks 1 in a hundred is low but to another it is 1 in a million.

What if the consequences for one thing are more minor then the other? Does that mean that you will accept higher risk for a more minor injury for example?

Does this mean that you also never ever use your gut instinct?

I know that the risk of getting hit by a car when out walking is much higher than the risk of someone taking my baby (in whatever circs).

I bite the bullet and go out and walk in places where there are cars. And so I dismiss my own concerns that people might be after my baby. People aren't after my baby, that is me being silly.

If I am willing to expose my family to higher risks like those to do with cars, it makes no sense to shy away from much lower risk situations.

So many of us (esp Mums)find ourselves struggling with irrational fears for the safety of our children. The media loves to focus on the horrible and extrordinarly rare occurences, specifically becuase they are RARE and horrible and therefore newsworthy. Unfortunately it has lead to mnay parents feeling terrified that there is a peado behind every shrub - ridiculous, of course, but terrorfying.

The problem is that unless look at our fears and try to objectivly examine which are rational and which are not our behaviour can have a real negative effect on our children's lives.

Obviously, the risk of sitting in the garden while a baby sleeps is infantesimal and any fear we might feel is irrational. No harm done though, if you decide to sit next to the cot just in case. But if you don't recognize that you are acting on your irrational fears then down the track you may find you are one of those Mums who hovers over your preschooler in the playground, won't let your 10yo walk to the corner store alone, won't let your 12yo camp in the back garden etc etc and those things can really impede a child's development and sense of independence.

Remember what a big risk you are takig next time you load your baby into the car and ask yourself why you do that without blinking while having to pole online opinion to sit in your own garden with a baby monitor!

Sounds fine to me. I would be willing to bet that where I am sitting on my back deck is further away from my baby sleeping in his cot than you will be.

My house is long and multistoried, I am at one end/level and he is on the other.