Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go out to communal garden and leave baby in flat?

130 replies

curiouskitten · 02/08/2011 21:33

Name changed as I'm not sure if this will leave me in line for a flaming.

I live in a small block of flats. Communal garden at back. WIBU to go out into garden with baby monitor while baby is asleep in the evening? She is a good sleeper. Flat is very secure, fire alarms fitted.

Wondering what the general consensus is here? I will listen to mumsnet opinion.

OP posts:
Oblomov · 03/08/2011 08:22

No problem. Wouldn't be concerned.
Some peoples guilt is misplaced.
QS, why were you guilty ? because you weren't there ? But you could have been watching tv, cooking dinner, on the 'bog', and you wouldn't have caught him. so your guilt is misplaced.
Do you lot feel guilty when your child falls over or falls off their bike, or falls off an item at the playground ? becasue your not supposed to feel guilt over these things, you know. They are normal.
Alot of the time our anxiety and guilt is ridiculous.

seeker · 03/08/2011 08:23

Don't be silly- how could a pelican pick a lock? You' thinking about woodpeckers.

PonceyMcPonce · 03/08/2011 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bubbaluv · 03/08/2011 08:28

Woodpeckers someimes set fires to cover thier tracks after they've let the pelicans in.

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 03/08/2011 08:38

You've got it all wrong, it's the ninja squirrels you want to watch out for.

YANBU btw.

OrangeHat · 03/08/2011 08:46

Where we are at the moment there are a lot of seagulls. What particular risks should I be on my guard against?

ChristinedePizan · 03/08/2011 08:53

Leaving unattended sandwiches OrangeHat. Seagulls can spot food that isn't being carefully and closely watched from about 100m

OrangeHat · 03/08/2011 08:55

I see. Does that mean I should avoid giving the children sandwiches while we are here? It certainly sounds like a risk not worth taking. The seagull could carry the child off with the sandwich.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 08:55

I don't think I would. Mainly because it's not a house it's a shared building where anyone can get access, so I wouldn't leave a baby in the flat any more then I would in a hotel room.

Sorry but someone is going to mention it eventually, . . . but didn't the McCanns say that it was like going out into the garden when they left their children in that room on a shared complex. Don't see how it's any different.

saladsandwich · 03/08/2011 08:59

i think it depends on lots of factors, i wouldn't but ds could climb out of his cot from 10months and he use to be ill alot, suffered with high temps alot and had terrible reflux with vomiting regularly at some point after his last bottle... if he slept through most nights and wasn't ill or sick at all, and he couldn't climb then i would probably have done it without a second thought, its no worse than being downstairs in your own house x

Maryz · 03/08/2011 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 09:13

Well I did say "Sorry but someone is going to mention it eventually".

I think it is valid as the McCanns apartment was locked (they came in the window I seem to remember), I assume the OPs block of flats is on a road, anyone can walk into it just the same as a holiday complex, the OP can't see her baby

LittleJennyRobyn · 03/08/2011 09:14

The Mcanns case is very very different from this situation, they couldn't even see the apartment from where they were as were some distance away. So really not relevant, IMO.

Op in your situation yes i would sit in the garden, as long as your baby monitor works from where you are i don't really see a problem.

QS, I agree with Oblomov, You could have been anywhere in the house and the same would have still happened.
All my Dc's have managed to climb the cot at some stage, It made no difference what room i was in at the time. It still happened. No need to feel guilty because you were on the terrace.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 09:17

(sorry clicked post by mistake)

Well I did say "Sorry but someone is going to mention it eventually".

I think it is valid as the McCanns apartment was locked (they came in the window I seem to remember), I assume the OPs block of flats is on a road, anyone can walk into it just the same as a holiday complex, the OP can't see her baby, can only hear on a monitor so wouldn't necessarily hear someone entering the flat unless they shouted out "hello I'm in your flat".

OrangeHat · 03/08/2011 09:19

For chrissakes it's more likely that a meteor hit than what you are suggesting, whosegotmyeyebrows.

OrangeHat · 03/08/2011 09:23

IME and IMO having lived in a second floor flat for years, they are far far safer than houses. There are multiple locked doors to get through (front door and flat door), people are not about to climb up the outside to get in the windows as it would be bloody obvious, and there are always people around due to the multiple occupancy thing. I don't know about OPs flats but in ours the neighbours recognised each other and could hear through the walls to a certain extent.

I would say what OP is suggesting is much safer than leaving a baby upstairs in a house while going to back garden (although personally would do this as well).

People need to get a grip of themselves, risk assessments are way off.

LittleJennyRobyn · 03/08/2011 09:24

Also OP stated that the flat is very secure, Most flats have an entry system, So dont see how anyone can just walk in.

Christ trying to get into My eldest DD's flat is like trying to get into Fort Knox. I usually have to let her know i'm coming as its a bit hit and miss whether the entry system will work to open the doors or not.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 09:29

Orange Well I am pretty paranoid admittedly, but to me it just wouldn't be worth the risk. There was a girl near me who was murdered not long ago when someone climbed in her bedroom window (not ground floor). It does happen. Of course it is rare and unlikely but I still wouldn't do it.

It's one of those awful crimes that happens occassionally and most people think "it won't happen to me", I tend to think " it has to happen to someone so it could easily be me". Negative thinker definately!

Also depends on the flat. The one's I lived in had no security door so anyone could come and go and no one knew each other.

OrangeHat · 03/08/2011 09:39

Yes you are pretty paranoid. If you know you are paranoid then why try and impress your irrational fears onto others, to try and stop them doing things which are very low risk?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 09:44

Orange That's a bit harsh! I am a natural worrier but that doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen to me. One doesn't cancel out the other. We still have to try to weigh up fear verses real risk.

. . . your irrational fears onto others, to try and stop them doing things which are very low risk?

Perhaps you should tell that to the mum of the local girl who was murdered. Doubt she'd agree.

PossetFeatures · 03/08/2011 09:50

I would, and do, do this. Our flat is ground floor (with own front door, not communal entrance) and on Friday night DP was out and I had a friend over, and we sat outside the front on a picnic rug in the communal gardens with a bottle of wine. Left front doors and bathroom window open so could hear baby DS if he woke. If we were on the second floor i would have the baby monitor out.

Like another poster said, I think it depends on your area, your neighbours, your gut feeling!

OrangeHat · 03/08/2011 09:52

"We still have to try to weigh up fear verses real risk."

And the real risk of what the OP is suggesting is that it is not really a risk at all.

Citing murdered girls and madelleine mcann about a woman suggesting something extremely low risk and completely different to both of the situations you cite is scaremongering.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 09:56

Extremely low risk is a matter of opinion. You obviously think it is, I don't agree.

Allinabinbag · 03/08/2011 10:00

No, I would try not to leave the baby with an external door locked between me and the baby, if the baby is crying, and you have to go through two sets of doors with keys, I would be very anxious during that time.

I hated leaving the children in the house when older to put the bins at the other side of the complex where we lived. Out in the garden, with the windows open, is a bit different, presumably you can leave your back door/patio door open and get back in easily.

FriggFRIGG · 03/08/2011 10:09

oh it'll be fine Smile

a polish girl who lived downstairs from us when we lived in a a small block,used to go to the corner shop whilst the baby was napping on the sofa...

when i said she could leave the babe with me,or id go and watch him if she liked (my DD was 2days older) she said not to worry so much,
when she was a baby,her mother used to cycle 4 miles to the shop leaving her in a pram outside the front door Shock

but be sure to fit the eagle bars,thats a real risk,that.

Swipe left for the next trending thread