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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Partner putting restrictions on my internet use

114 replies

mum0ftw0 · 02/08/2011 16:41

He has banned youtube.
I use youtube to watch music videos, perhaps 5 per day, and also I watch various things such as recently watching lots of videos on Autism, because my child is going through a diagnosis right now.

He banned youtube without talking to me about the possibility of banning it.

He says it uses too much bandwidth and we're over our limit, yet he's allowing next door to use our internet in exchange for 5 pound a month.

Do you think he's being controlling?

Shall I arrange to have my own seperate internet connection?

OP posts:
AbbyAbsinthe · 03/08/2011 11:01

lassylass - are you having a laugh?? Hmm

wannabesybil · 03/08/2011 11:04

I think lassylass is actually the OP's partner, because there can't be that many people who think that way.

We have an unlimited bandwith deal, because we use the internet loads - but hardly any youtube. I don't think I go there every month. Discussion forums, however...

Original poster
mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 11:16

LOL

I actually just wondered if lassylass was my partner then, or one of his friends.

OP posts:
Original poster
mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 11:20

Thank you ShoutyHamster.

I'm trying to get myself driving so I can just leave when I like, which he's a bit funny about.
Hate him controlling everything.

Think I will go out and do that as soon as I can, thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 11:21

would help if there was a flippen bus service out here

OP posts:
AbbyAbsinthe · 03/08/2011 11:42

What do you mean, mum0ftw0? What exactly is he a 'bit funny about'?

maypole1 · 03/08/2011 13:09

lassylass. I think this must be ops husband oh dear.

5Foot5 · 03/08/2011 13:22

"lassylass. I think this must be ops husband oh dear."

Oh well, if it is the OPs husband it may not be all bad. If he has read the responses on the thread he might now realise that the overwhelming majority think HIBU and a controlling t**t so it might make him think again!

Original poster
mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 13:46

he thinks there's more imortant things we can do with money, rather than funding me running another car.
But I feel like getting that independence is important to me, so I've said that when DS2's DLA comes through and is all backdated I'll use it for a car.
So I'll be able to take the kids to a nearby village park, or go shopping whenever Ilike without waiting and asking for him to be ready to take us.
And when he's a workI can get out aswell.

He says it's a waste because we need to pay for a fence instead, but having some independence is important to me, so I think I'll go with driving.

OP posts:
dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 03/08/2011 14:18

YABU. He obviously requires the download allowance for his hardcore bestiality porn

Original poster
mum0ftw0 · 03/08/2011 14:27

Oh no, he already has a cupboard full of disks devoted to that.

You think he's wanting to download MORE?

Will have to have a word.

OP posts:
MizzyTizzy · 03/08/2011 14:35
Grin

Not only does my DH fund my internet he also funds a car he doesn't drive...he has one car for work and I have the 'family' car at home for 'just in case' journeys.Grin

Get that car asap OP and show him a dust storm as you drive off into the sunset...well the local supermarket...but he doesn't have to know that! Wink

FabbyChic · 03/08/2011 14:35

Sounds to me like you are trapped in the home whilst he is not there and that is the way he likes it. He sounds like a controlling arsehole.

DadAndy · 03/08/2011 14:50

YouTube WILL chew bandwith in comparison to "normal" web browsing or emailing, but it's not going to blow your limits unless you've got a low limit or are on it all day every day

Any video you watch will effectively be downloaded on to your PC, much like downloading anything else

As a (very) rough guide (entirely dependent on the quality of what you're watching, and the format), you're looking at about 128MB for an hour's video
So, if you were watching for 8 hours a day, you'd be doing 1GB a day, and limits tend to be around 10-15GB a month mark, meaning you'd get a fortnight's video watching a month before they charged you

Doesn't mean that there aren't better solutions than "I've given my mates access, but you can't use it", mind

JanMorrow · 03/08/2011 14:54

You're not allowed to watch the odd clip on youtube? I'm sorry but that's just WEIRD. Unlimited internet really doesn't cost THAT much, especially if you get it in a deal with your cable/sattelite tv. It's also a bit weird to let the neigbours use it too.

Kytti · 03/08/2011 15:14

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble in taking this seriously. So your neighbours can use it for £5.00 but you can't? And you're supposed to be his wife? I think you ought to stand up for yourself more.

slug · 03/08/2011 15:23

how to change the router password

ChuntyCops · 03/08/2011 17:24

This man sounds exactly like my (very recently) exH. He did in fact threaten to ban the Internet a couple of times and he set himself up as administrator on our his laptop so that I couldn't download anything. He even threatened a couple of times to put a programme on it which records every keystroke. Is this the only thing he controls? If it is I bet it won't be for long. Here's a link to my thread so you know what kind of thing you could be in for

Here

I'm just realising I deserve better,you do too. Don't ignore the warning signs :)

samandi · 15/12/2011 10:59

lassylass has a point - youtube does eat up bandwidth. We increased our allowance after going over the limit after streaming videos, but going over could have been £10 extra a month. If money is tight it's understandable.

The way he's gone about it is daft though and yes, he does sound controlling.

Isn't the child his too?

ToniSoprano · 15/12/2011 11:19

Who made him the actual King of the road/your house/neighbourhood/your computer etc?

DoesNotGiveAFig · 15/12/2011 12:14

Shock @ this thread and lassylass.

I'd change your deal to an unlimited one - I actually pay less now that I did on a limited one.

You should totally get rid of this bloke, but you won't. Sad

Splinters · 15/12/2011 12:14

And your learning the skill of driving would be a waste because you ought to be spending the money on a fence?

4-metre high fence with barbed wire and anti-climb paint on the inside, is that?

CumpyGruntWithJinglyBellsOn · 15/12/2011 12:19

This is a 4 month old thread.

I remember it the 1st time round.

Esta3GG · 15/12/2011 12:24

urgh - why the piss am I wasting time on ancient threads?
(As opposed to wasting time on current threads.)

sausagesandmarmelade · 15/12/2011 13:52

What an idiot!

You're in a partnership which should be equal and he's treating you like a child!

Stand up for yourself. If finances are a problem then come to some agreement about this and extend your limit...