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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU Partner putting restrictions on my internet use

114 replies

mum0ftw0 · 02/08/2011 16:41

He has banned youtube.
I use youtube to watch music videos, perhaps 5 per day, and also I watch various things such as recently watching lots of videos on Autism, because my child is going through a diagnosis right now.

He banned youtube without talking to me about the possibility of banning it.

He says it uses too much bandwidth and we're over our limit, yet he's allowing next door to use our internet in exchange for 5 pound a month.

Do you think he's being controlling?

Shall I arrange to have my own seperate internet connection?

OP posts:

alison222 · 02/08/2011 17:32

He is BVU. You are not. How do you know what next door are using? they are probably taking you over the limit. (or he is).

GypsyMoth · 02/08/2011 17:32

why do you accept this op? and what else does he control?

FilthyDirtyHeathen · 02/08/2011 17:34

This is very strange behaviour. You Tube doesn't require that much bandwidth surely - I am not expert in these things but we are forever watching YouTube with no apparent consequences.

I doubt your neighbours think he is the local nice guy anymore. I am always suspicious of local 'nice guys'.

FabbyChic · 02/08/2011 17:35

I'd tell him to go fuck himself, and not come back till he has managed it and has photographic proof of same.

Using Youtube does not cause you to go over any allowance.

What does is downloading.

This is more than likely your neighbour.

If he is going to treat you like an errant child act like one, don't cook his dinner children don't do that, don't do anything for him at all, he is taking the proverbial piss.

How much do you pay for your broadband? Most now come with unlimited useage, I pay £9.99 a month on 02 and its all I can use which is nothing as I never download.

Catitainahatita · 02/08/2011 17:35

Look I don't know your situation at all. He might just be a bit tight for all I know. But it does sound controlling to me. There are lots of lovely people on here who know tons about this and if you ever need to talk to them you are going to have to be able to access mumsnet. Thus I would keep quiet about your mumsnet activities and possibly also delete you internet history at the end of each session.

bananasplitz · 02/08/2011 17:36

be careful, the neighbours could be downloading all sorts, and viewing all sorts, and if they get investigated, it will come back on you

also, unless you have given the neighbours the password, your wifi is open meaning the whole road can be using it

maypole1 · 02/08/2011 17:36

Do you think their might be a clip of him or about him he dose not want you to see

Thats the only reason why someone would do that unless their crazy o course

Original poster

mum0ftw0 · 02/08/2011 17:43

we used youtube plenty on the old house. He says it is directly to do with the limit, but still.

Why do I put up with it? What am I supposed to do?

OP posts:

CatFlaps · 02/08/2011 17:43

What maypole said. What a twat! Id tell him to eff off but thats just me!

FilthyDirtyHeathen · 02/08/2011 17:44

What bananasplitz said.

AgentZigzag · 02/08/2011 17:45

'What am I supposed to do?'

Laugh in his face and tell him to stop being such a twat?

Before you tell him to take off the parental settings.

FilthyDirtyHeathen · 02/08/2011 17:45

Tell him to change the password and kick the neighbours off. If there are bandwidth issues they are the probably cause. Tell him to reinstate YouTube and stop being so controlling.

Original poster

mum0ftw0 · 02/08/2011 17:48

I called him a twat. It doesn't help.
I told him to stop being controlling and said 'please fix this internet for me' several times.

He won't stop next door using it as they're his 'mates', and they ay him a good 5 english pounds.
He pointed out that I don't pay it, why should I be able to have a say.

OP posts:

manticlimactic · 02/08/2011 17:50

Sounds a right cock!

What do you pay for your internet?Not many do limited download limits these days and if he's arranged this contract then tell him he needs to get with the programme. Tell him to take a hike, you're not a teenager.

Arrange your own connection and pay for it? You can't be serious.

MizzyTizzy · 02/08/2011 17:51

Good grief!

Google how to change the parental controls and change the damned things!

I am the only one who uses the internet in our house...and I'm a SAHM mostly...DH pays for something he doesn't use at all or very rarely...but he would never dream of treating me like a 5 y/o and putting the flippin' parental controls on to control my time on the internet...it would be more than his life's worth to even think about it let alone do it!

Your DH's behaviour is so petty I'm practically speechless!

manticlimactic · 02/08/2011 17:51

Um hang on. You don't pay? What does he mean?

wannaBe · 02/08/2011 17:54

what you do is say to him "I am not a child, give me the passwords for the parental controls, you do not control what I do and don't do on the internet." and then you change the password on the wifi and tell the neighbours they can no longer use it, sorry. And if he tells you that he will continue to control your usage I would tell him you are starting to question your future together since you will not continue to live with a controlling twat.

FreudianSlipper · 02/08/2011 17:57

i would have a good think about other things he tries to control in your life

it is very controlling, not only that you need to be able to understand what your child and family might need deal with and also the support you can get

mr nice guy is the control freak at home that is very very common

AgentZigzag · 02/08/2011 17:58

Can you look on google on how to change the parental settings (if you're like me and wouldn't have a clue where to start)?

If he watches what websites you're on, will he see this thread?

Cruntie · 02/08/2011 17:58

If you're over the limit, surely any usage, not just youtube but web browsing, online gaming, iPlayer etc. is going to cost you money. Why just ban one?

TottWriter · 02/08/2011 17:59

What on earth does he mean that "you don't pay"? Who the fuck is providing his childcare?

You both live together, I'm assuming, so you both contribute to the house, either with money or by working in the house itself. of course you pay for the internet!

If I were you he'd be sleeping on the sofa/in the garden.

bananasplitz · 02/08/2011 18:00

neighbours could be viewing porn videos morning noon and night for all you know

bananasplitz · 02/08/2011 18:01

also youtube is not the only video service

iplayer, 4od, etc neighbours could be viewing stuff on there and racking up the data download

ChristinedePizan · 02/08/2011 18:02

Oh yes, change the wifi password - v good idea. Either he turns off the parental controls or no one gets to use it.

icooksocks · 02/08/2011 18:04

YANBU just to follow on from what everyone else is saying really you tube does not use that much of your allowance. I have a 10gb cap on my broadband, if I go over it costs another £5 no matter how much I go over. Usually I do go over but it's only my household that uses it so I'm not fussed. Next door are probably downloading all sorts ofsongs for the iPod, uploads of photographs to Facebook can also make a dent in your usage. Tell your husband he's a fucking cock.

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