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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

playground confrontation - am i totally wrong or just a bit?

120 replies

IAmTheCookieMonster · 02/08/2011 16:24

I'ver just got back from the playground with my 15 month ds and am actually in tears over an incident that occurred. I hold my hands up to the fact that I didn't handle it very well but I want to know if I was totally in the wrong or not.

My ds was playing on a wooden grasshopper, which was totally suitable for his age. I was sitting on a nearby dragonfly watching him. He then wandered over to the big slide and was standing on the bottom, I was aware of what he was doing and the slide was empty.

A boy (i'd say between 8 and 10) went to the top of the slide so I went to get ds off the bottom, but he started sliding. I ran up to the slide (probably screaming because i was in a blind panic) "my baby, you stupid boy you don't go down a slide when there is a baby at the bottom". his mum then came over from the other side of the playground and had a go at me saying that I should have ds under control and that it wasn't her son's fault. I said that you shouldn't go down a slide unless it is clear. Anyway, I went and apologised to her son - I said that I was sorry I upset him, I was in a panic and that I was wrong.

Maybe I should have been helicoptering ds, but I went to get him down as soon as the boy wanted the slide. When I was a kid it was drummed into me that you wait for the slide to be clear before you go down. I definitely shouldn't have called him a stupid boy, I know that.

OP posts:

Mitmoo · 02/08/2011 20:26

I think the OP has realised she shouldn't put the responsibility for the safety of her toddler onto the shoulders of an 8 year old. The person who was stupid was the OP but it's not a hanging offence when you consider she was in a blind panic.

I was a complete bjtch to a woman in a supermarket who when ds was a few weeks old she crashed into my shopping trolley with DS in it, poor woman was mortified and apologised, I said "don't worry it's only a baby" with major sarcasm in my tone and looked at her as if I was going to kill her.

Poor woman but the maternal instinct and hormones were in full flow.

None of us is perfect.

triskaidekaphile · 02/08/2011 20:41

Agree agree and thrice agree with thefirstmrsdevere.

Reallyusefulengine · 02/08/2011 21:06

If you're a panicky mum and your child is inexperienced with the play equipment you should be a bit more vigilant and a bit more speedy, no child, 8 years old or not should be able to get to the top of a high slide and start sliding before you're at the bottom plucking off your toddler.

daytoday · 02/08/2011 21:09

You should remember that your DS will one day be an 8 year old boy.

Playgrounds aren't just for toddlers. They are for children and we all need to work together, surely?

kiki22 · 02/08/2011 21:17

YABU if you shouted at my child like that and scared her i would have shoutd at you twice as loud... even if he did come down the slide whats the worst that could happen? a bump n your toddler will learn not to stand at the bottom of the slide and the little 8 yr old would have learned not to slide things this this happen at the park kids need to learn to pickthemselves up when they get hurt and stick up for themselves and i find that the park is where that happens... u need to accept that your kid might get hurt playing with other kids or near them fact of life.

LemonDifficult · 02/08/2011 21:18

chicletteeth · 02/08/2011 21:24

Had that been my son, you'd have had a right mouthful from me.

Regardless of what goes on, your DC is your responsbility and good or bad or thoughtless behaviour from older children means that your DC may still get hurt.

Totally disagree with previous poster who made an issue of age, 8 is still young and they (on occasion) just be exicted about a silly game or playing generally and not thing.

YWBVU but I appreicate you realise this and so won't say anything more.

chicletteeth · 02/08/2011 21:25

and just get excited........

not think

Sorry

swash · 02/08/2011 21:28

Oh don't worry about it, OP.

Playgrounds are hideous, but they are much easier to manage as your kids get older and are less vulnerable. Just accept that you are a protective parent and hover over your baby as much as you like.

But bear in mind that when you yell like that it usually means you are stressed, so look after yourself as much as is possible.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 02/08/2011 21:39

YABU. Am a bit that you panicked, screamed and called the boy stupid. Agree with others that the boy should not have been sliding down if the slide wasn't clear (my DSs, 5 and 3, know to do this and get quite short shrift from me if they forget, or can't be bothered to wait). But kids get excited, it's the summer hols so more big kids in the playground than maybe you've been used to - you should have been keeping a closer eye on him.

Think your panic is a bit disproportionate, tbh. He could easily have fallen off when he was climbing on it, which you'd allowed him to do - unless he'd climbed quite far up (which you should be teaching him not to do), I can't really see that the consequences of him being knocked off by the boy would have been much/any greater than if he'd simply fallen off (in either case, probably not likely to be serious). Playground slides tend not to be super-whizzy, it wouldn't have been like he had an Exocet coming at him, surely?

I can see why you're upset (I hate being 'told off' by anyone, really hate it and brood about it for days afterwards), but think you should just try to forget about it.

TheThingUpstairs · 02/08/2011 21:59

YABU, you need to supervise your young child properly in a busy playground!

Morloth · 02/08/2011 22:12

Another YABU, the situation was your fault but you yelled at a kid for it. I would have told you off as well.

No playing at the bottom of slides.

LemonDifficult · 02/08/2011 22:17

OP, I'm now beginning to feel really sorry for you. Swash is right, this kind of reaction does suggest you're pretty stressed. I hope you're OK. Not a nice afternoon to have had - and now MN laying into you. Lot's of us have been there

Have some . It will blow over.

chipmonkey · 02/08/2011 22:18

You should never, ever call a child stupid, for all you know they could have SNs and this might be the last think they need.
I do remember when ds1 was tiny, I thought his older cousin was a crazy, dangerous villain and he was only 18 months older than ds1! Really, when your own ds is 8 you will see it differently.

It was a bad day but don't lose sleep over it!

aquashiv · 02/08/2011 22:41

A mistake. I have made millions so dont worry. YOu obviously care enough to be worried about it and you had the guts to face the little boy and apologise.

pictish · 02/08/2011 22:56

That is very true Aquashiv - a mistake and we all make them.
You live and you learn.

Don't worry OP - bet you won't do that again. x

BluddyMoFo · 02/08/2011 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muminthemiddle · 02/08/2011 23:46

Op- I know you have said that yabu but please don't ever call a child stupid.
If you had called my child stupid then I would have verbally abused you too-big time!

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 02/08/2011 23:51

'You could easily have shouted "move you stupid little baby" to your OWN child'

Now there's a thought! But don't worry. Watch out for posters who panic when teenagers startle their lovely little 8 year olds.
Or posters like me, with adorable 16 year olds who are equally protective of them.

imogengladheart · 03/08/2011 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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