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AIBU?

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Original poster

to look at my sons internet history

47 replies

WalkHomeBitches · 29/07/2011 12:57

I have 2 DS and 1 DD one DS is 14 and the other DS is 18(no living with me) and my DD is 10. i think because i had them quite young i arent as strict as my parents were with me. But recently i borrowed my 14 yrolds laptop for work and i though i would be a but nosey as every mum would do so i click on his internet history but only to find lots and lots of porn from a website called RedTube!!! i was very disturbed by the images and video clips shown on there. i exited it i havent told DH but should i speak to my DS about it or will bringing it up invade his space ??

OP posts:
BertyBurlington · 29/07/2011 12:59

its normal. kids have been stashing their porn mags under their beds since time immemorial and mums have been finding them

this is just another medium

dont embarrass him

OldMacEIEIO · 29/07/2011 13:01

Tell DH and DS will never get a look in again.

SexyDomesticatedDab · 29/07/2011 13:01

Tel him to download CCleaner and use it.

Original poster
WalkHomeBitches · 29/07/2011 13:03

thats the thing i dont want to embarrass him
but we have had 'the talk' and we are very open about things like this in my house but i am worried about him being annoyed at me for invading his personal things

OP posts:
OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 29/07/2011 13:07

Porn on the search history of a 14 year old boy. Now there's a surprise! Grin

You do need to talk to kids about porn as there is a lot of stuff out there that is potentially damaging. I wouldn't humiliate him by letting him know you looked at his history though. Just a more general chat.

OldMacEIEIO · 29/07/2011 13:07

well you have invaded his personal things.

Nesbo · 29/07/2011 13:08

Either he will look back on his teenage years with a wry smile as one long happy wank, or they will be overshadowed by the humiliation of his mother confronting him with his activities having gone through his computer. Your choice, but I can guarantee he will have that conversation seared on his brain for the rest of his life!

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 29/07/2011 13:09

If you openly discuss sex and porn I would forget about it then.

TeelaBrown · 29/07/2011 13:25

You can't be massively surprised though? and that's why you looked - surely?

I think the best thing would be an attempt to broach the subject of real sex/bodies not being like that/those in porn films and maybe about respecting women (well you saw the images).

Actually, there was a series (I think on channel 4) that broached these topics really well - the Real Sex Education Show or something? Could even point him in the direction of those if it's just too cringey to talk about.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 29/07/2011 13:28

Why they don't delete their internet history, I wil never know.

notquitenormal · 29/07/2011 13:44

Red Tube shows some of the cheapest, nastiest, most degrading porn available and I'd be pretty horrified if I found my son using it. It's not the same as having a copy of Razzle under their bed.

It worries me, actually, that during the years when they're forming their first relationships and before most have had any real sexual experience that so many young boys will have seen more hard core porn than I could even imagine existed when I was that age. It can't be good for their attitudes; and the sex all looks crap too.

WhereYouLeftIt · 29/07/2011 13:46

If you are going to raise it with him, you can make it sound as if it wasn't a deliberate search on your part.

I tend to browse with lots of tabs open at the same time, closing them when I've finished reading but then occasionally going to my history to find them again to re-read. Couldn't that be how you stumbled upon it unexpectedly? Smile

exoticfruits · 29/07/2011 13:48

I would just put a block on the sites.

robingood19 · 29/07/2011 13:56

If you have serious suspicions. Do it.

Ambergambler · 29/07/2011 13:56

I second the block! DS1 is nearly 13 and got in to the predictable searches. Have just limited what he can access. They will look, but not worth embarrassing him. Better to try and keep it as open as you can.

robingood19 · 29/07/2011 13:56

If you have serious suspicions. Do it.

niceguy2 · 29/07/2011 14:01

I think bringing it up is just going to cause an almighty ruckus. And for what purpose? A 14yr old accessing porn is hardly a surprise.

Instead I suggest you approach it from a different angle. Say you've been reading online about how much inappropriate stuff there is on the Internet, viruses, violence, gambling, porn......so you've decided that it's best to install filtering software on ALL PC's. Then pop over to K9 Web protection and install the free software.

To be blunt you won't be the first, nor the last to naively give a 14yr old a laptop with free reign over the Internet and to allow them to sit in their bedrooms with it. I'm incredibly laid back about stuff and even I have banned my 14yr old DD from having a computer in her room. Computers can only be used downstairs where us adults are.

worldgonecrazy · 29/07/2011 14:09

I would install the block. There is some fairly yucky porn out there on the internet and the only thing stopping young adults seeing it is a box saying "Click here if you're not 18". It may also be worth either DH or eldest DS to have a discussion about the difference between porn and real sexual relationships.

GentlemanGin · 29/07/2011 14:09

WalkHomeBitches. I think there is an issue here. Teenagers having a few well thumbed magazines under their beds ( like I did when I was his age ) is one thing, RedTube is a porn video site, I don't use these sites but I've seen some of the content on them and it's pretty explicit. It's a world away from Mayfair magazine or Playboy.

There's a difference obviously between pictures of a woman posing with no clothes on, and videos of orgies, anal sex, and double penetration etc etc....

Also, Porn sites are notorious for distributing virus and malware so you may well have an infected PC ( macs tend to be immune )

GypsyMoth · 29/07/2011 14:26

I found a search on ds I touch for 'pawn'... He's 13 next month. More worried he couldn't spell 'pornography!!

Also found a search fir 'Cheryl cole with no clothes on'

Will be having a chat I think!

GentlemanGin · 29/07/2011 14:28

Maybe he just likes chess Tiffany :o

WhereYouLeftIt · 29/07/2011 14:38

ILoveTIFFANY you have given me hope for the future - DS's spelling is appalling, it may yet turn out to be a blessing! Grin

exoticfruits · 29/07/2011 14:39

They are bound to be curious and search. Get a block on early.

Nesbo · 29/07/2011 14:43

Putting blocks/filters on without making an issue of it in a way that will humiliate him sounds sensible to me.

GypsyMoth · 29/07/2011 14:44

Can't block IPod touch can you? I have never seen a way. Will have another look!

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