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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to look at my sons internet history

47 replies

WalkHomeBitches · 29/07/2011 12:57

I have 2 DS and 1 DD one DS is 14 and the other DS is 18(no living with me) and my DD is 10. i think because i had them quite young i arent as strict as my parents were with me. But recently i borrowed my 14 yrolds laptop for work and i though i would be a but nosey as every mum would do so i click on his internet history but only to find lots and lots of porn from a website called RedTube!!! i was very disturbed by the images and video clips shown on there. i exited it i havent told DH but should i speak to my DS about it or will bringing it up invade his space ??

OP posts:

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 29/07/2011 14:44

Check your jewels aren't spending time with Uncle Tiffany

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 29/07/2011 14:46

Reminds me of the time I found "bowl job videos" on xp's search history. I had a laugh asking him what on earth a bowl job was.

janetsplanet · 29/07/2011 16:01

my almost 14yr old DS told me all lads have a porn folder hidden on their PC. its so if the internet goes down they still have summat to wank to.
I embarrassed him the other week, well embarrassed myself more really. i was getting the dirty washing out the basket, i found a sock with what i thought was clear nail varnish on. he had used the nail varnish over his veruccas whilst doing a gymnastics display. I shouted at him about the state of the sock - only for him to tell me it wasnt nail varnish

Mitmoo · 29/07/2011 16:06

It's normal, wait until you get a letter back from the school saying he was looking up Camels Foot on the net during IT. I didn't even know what a flipping Camels Foot was.

YoungishBag · 29/07/2011 16:07

Block red tube - it's nasty porn, it will give him a very skewed idea of what sex is.

It's mostly anal, double anal, no condoms, 3 different guys in orifices, and college girls being deliberately exploited.

Its not really ordinary sex.

CinnabarRed · 29/07/2011 16:16

Umm - what is double anal? Until I know that I can't say whether I'm doing it every night or not....

GentlemanGin · 29/07/2011 16:17

Cinnabar, double anal is ( i imagine ) painful, lets leave it at that

giyadas · 29/07/2011 16:19

I would block the sites and make it clear that if he tries to access those sites again then his computer will be taken away. I don't care how much it embarrasses him.
And I don't care how many men crawl out of the woodwork to proclaim that there's nothing wrong with it and I'm just a prude. This isn't just a few pics under the bed.
I would make it clear it's unacceptable, for the benefit of the boy watching and the girls who will come into contact with him.

Mabelface · 29/07/2011 16:23

I would speak to him and sod the embarrassment! My 14 year old searched on the family pc for stuff and I sat down and had a chat about the nasty stuff out there that is disturbing, and also about how porn sites can often contain computer viruses. Now he's 18, he can do what he wants on his computer, but 14 does still need some supervision.

Spuddybean · 29/07/2011 16:24

youngish from looking at red tube i think it is seperated into categories ie anal, group, girl on girl, gay, masturbation etc. So it's only mostly anal if you are in the anal category.

not that i do double anal every night, more like every other night now i'm in my 30's

but i suppose my concern would depend on which category he was mostly looking at (on a personal level i find 'facials' vomitrocious).

I also would not allow a 14 yo unfettered access to a laptop in their room. Only a homework computer in a communal part of the house but then again i am a draconian victorian moraliser

OldMacEIEIO · 29/07/2011 16:27

as long as he is not looking at 2 girls one cup, or tubgirl, he is in the shallow end of depravity
trust me. google not, or vomit shall be thy destiny

SpecialFriedRice · 29/07/2011 16:40

I'd leave him be. He's 14 and unless he's a total hit with the girls and already having sex or doing other stuff then he's probably just curious about what tits really look like. Or what a vagina looks like. Or what sex looks like. He's 14... He's probably curious about a lot of sex stuff.

No doubt boys/young men have been watching crap porn since the internet came about and most of them turned out pretty normal in the bedroom department.

Lifeissweet · 29/07/2011 16:51

Although, Specialfriedrice, that is sort of exactly what would bother me about this.

If he's curious about sex and he's getting his answers from porn, then how well does that bode for his sexual relationships in the future. There is already evidence that boys who watch porn find pubic hair disgusting, they think boobs that aren't big and ridiculously pert abnormal and it's all costing girls their self esteem and body image. This can only be damaging for everyone.

I don't know what the answer is, but I do think blocking would be a good idea.

exoticfruits · 29/07/2011 16:54

If he is curious about sex-which he would be-it is hardly going to give realistic answers. I would block it.

GentlemanGin · 29/07/2011 16:56

Lifeissweet. Also the men in these videos tend to be very well endowed, so it may also affect his self esteem.

Lifeissweet · 29/07/2011 16:59

I agree. Another reason why it's unrealistic and unhelpful, Gentleman

giyadas · 29/07/2011 17:00

That wouldn't be my first concern tbh, Gin.

JanMorrow · 29/07/2011 17:05

This is totally normal but there's a lot of VERY graphic stuff on that website.. I would put a block on websites like that, a parental lock or something via the ISP. 14 is a bit young to have access to stuff that graphic.. I'd get his Dad to have a quiet word!

ChristinedePizan · 29/07/2011 17:06

Watching porn on redtube, he will be left with the impression that:
women don't require much in the way of pleasuring
women enjoy being fucked by several different men at once in every orifice
women like it if you spunk over their faces
women can be turned around any which way without bothering to speak to them
women don't have genital hair
lesbians really just want to perform for men

Stills and photos are one thing, hardcore porn is completely different. I'd put a block on pronto

Original poster

WalkHomeBitches · 02/08/2011 00:57

I not really to bothered about him reading playboy magazines ect girlsshowing there boobs because i know most boys his ages do look at them and hide them under there bed! I just dont want him to see women as the objects like the women in these 'videos'

OP posts:

Original poster

WalkHomeBitches · 02/08/2011 00:58

All this advice has been very helpful and i think i will say something to him but maybe when he is by himself to save us both from embrassessment !

OP posts:

danniclare · 02/08/2011 01:10

It's normal for teenage boys to access porn, what's worring is when they don't. But that doesn't make it right. At 14 there should be filters on "his" computer. Apart from anything else some porn sites are riddled with viruses. A bit like the porn industry in general. And what's on these sites can be full strength explicit material with no context. At something-teen boys will know the mechanics, but need someone to gently explain that women are not "up for it" at the drop of a hat and aren't into every perversion going. Not even the ones in the "films". Get DH to have a quiet chat, not mentioning what you found, and explain that it's fantasy, about as true to life as Spooks.

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