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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Encouraging DD to learn to ride her bike?

57 replies

Ismeyes · 28/07/2011 21:08

DD has just turned 5. She has a bike, but often does not want to ride it. We have tried to encourage her to learn, but she says she is scared. She can ride and balance on a 2 wheeled scooter no problems.

Today I tried to get her to take the bike to the park to learn to ride without stabilisers and she got very upset and tearful about it. AIBU to keep mentioning it to her, or am I being overbearing? She says she doesn't care if she can't ride a bike and I find it hard to argue that it is an essential life skill.

OP posts:

readywithwellies · 28/07/2011 21:20

Stick a broom handle in the back to hold her up while she gets her confidence

rogersmellyonthetelly · 28/07/2011 21:22

Dd was like this, happy to ride with stabilisers but flipped out it I took them off. In the end I took the stabilisers and the pedals off and taught her how to freewheel using her legs to push and balance. At the end of 2 weeks she could freewheel about 20 yards without touching the ground so I put the pedals back on and she rode away quite happily. It was so successful about 3 of my neighbours have done the same thing and it has worked 100% so fAr.

MumblingRagDoll · 28/07/2011 21:22

Why keep mentioning it? To me, it sounds like it's become a "thing" and she senses that you really want her to learn and she feels pressure.

It's not an essential life skill....let her learn when she's ready. I have a scaredy cat health and safety conscious 7 year old and she gets afraid of things sometimes...they all have strengths and weaknesses.

Leave it a while. Maybe buy one of those sparkly things for the wheels ...some of them make a clicky noise when they go round....and then next time you get the bike out, focus on the wheel ornaments instead.

MadamDeathstare · 28/07/2011 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImeldaM · 28/07/2011 21:27

I'd leave it with stabilisers until she wants them off. To encourage her to want to learn try to make time for lots of trips to parks etc on her bike. She'll see others her age without stabilisers & soon want to.

Make sure her seat is quite low too, when she is ready, needs to be able to confidently have her feet on the ground.

Original poster

Ismeyes · 28/07/2011 21:34

I think I have made it a 'thing'. She has seen younger children riding without stabilisers and her friends, but she couldn't care less (which I admire). I have juts gone and lowered the seat and and left the bike with stabilisers out in the garden with other toys and will back right off.

We go to the park 3-4 times a week, but she wants to take her scooter and learn to do wheelies/tricks! I feel like she should be learning to ride a bike, but then I haven't since I was about 10, so I'm confused about my position!

OP posts:

Canella · 28/07/2011 21:34

rogersmellyonthetelly has it absolutely right. Stabilisers are teaching her nothing except how to pedal. Strip the bike of the pedals and stabilsers and let her whizz about on it. The seat has to be far enough down that she can happily reach the floor.

I promise in 2 weeks she'll be riding her bike with the pedals on. Worked for all 3 of my DC (and all the other dc round here - i'm not in the UK and its the normal way to learn). And ds2 was only 3.8. Give it a go tomorrow - it really works.

exoticfruits · 28/07/2011 21:43

They all do it in their own time. My DS1 was 3yrs and DS2 was almost 7yrs. Don't worry.

MumblingRagDoll · 28/07/2011 21:47

Ismyeyes At least she rides a scooter/does tricks! My DD (7 as I said) won't even get on a scooter never mind do a trick!

She's always been that way....she can ride without stabilizers but won't unless her cousins are here and make her....but she will bounce all day on a trampoline and happily do gymnastics and field sports....so I just accept it.

She'll never win the Tour De France but like yours she doesn't give a flying welly.

pinkhollie · 28/07/2011 21:54

I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 10 when we moved house and not being able to ride a bike put me at a serious social disadvantage. My younger brother learnt at 5.

BTW I am degree educated and in a professional job, full driving licence etc I just don't have brilliant balance.

Original poster

Ismeyes · 28/07/2011 21:57

I will try to take the pedals off tomorrow then too,I'm not sure how to do that, but will have a go!

She is fearless usually - will happily dive head first into a swimming pool, can do the monkey bars no problem, hurls herself over and around bars and stands up on the swings. I suppose that is why I find it hard to understand her fear with riding the bike even with lots of reassurance.

OP posts:

GlitterySkulls · 28/07/2011 23:08

my mum repeatedly tried to teach me to ride a bike- even roping in friends & neighbours to try when she finally gave up. i still can't ride a bike

(i wasn't scared though, i just never "got" it)

maybe step back for a while, don't even mention it, she might decide to have a go herself then?

DogsBestFriend · 28/07/2011 23:13

Tell her it's okay to do it in her own time and that you've just read about a mum who was 37 before she ever learned to ride a bike. :)

And tell her that that mum thinks she's ever so clever for even trying. :)

GrimmaTheNome · 28/07/2011 23:15

My DD was more like 6 when she learned to ride without stabilizers. I didn't think to take off the pedals (it was before 'balance bikes' became popular) but I got her to push along or roll down a slope with her feet down ignoring the pedals first.

The other method, which is how I learned, is to raise the stabilisers up a little so that only one is on the ground at a time and if you're really level neither is touching - which I seem to remember finding out for myself without any parental input and being jolly pleased with myself

ggirl · 28/07/2011 23:16

She'll learn in her own time. Ds is only just confident and he's 8. He's a very cautious child so needs to feel very confident when doing new scary things.
Be patient and leave the bike unitl she brings it up again.

anothermum92 · 28/07/2011 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ivykaty44 · 28/07/2011 23:21

taking the pedals off sounds a wonderful idea - do it and tell dd it is a new idea for having lots of fun when you are a bit scared and would she like to ry it out as apparently it is like wizzing round on the trolleys at the supermarket and will help her to learnt o ride easy peasey - let her trust you

maras2 · 28/07/2011 23:22

It's not compulsory to ride a bike.Give it away to someone who really wants one and give the child a break ! Sheesh.

ivykaty44 · 28/07/2011 23:22

tell her after one go if she doesn't like it then you will be coming straight home no fuss - promise her this.

but also tell her if she does happent to like it then you can stay longer.

Cos I bet she will like it - then she will learn you say what you mean as you come home if she doesn't like it

ivykaty44 · 28/07/2011 23:23

no its not compulsory to ride a bike, it isn't just about riding a bike though

anothermum92 · 28/07/2011 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mousey84 · 28/07/2011 23:28

DD only learnt to ride without stabilisers last easter, aged 8. She was terrified of falling. As other people suggested above, I took the pedals off and let her scoot about like that. Was about an hour in total over maybe three days. Once she had her confidence we put the pedals on and she cycled with no problems.

worraliberty · 28/07/2011 23:28

This reminds me of my DS2...especially the 'fearless diving head first into swimming pools, monkey bars' etc...

He had a real 'thing' about not wanting to learn to ride his bike too. All we could do was ignore it as the more we brought it up the more he dug his heels in.

Eventually, he jumped on his older brother's bike and shot off like a rocket (forgot to turn the handle bars and crashed into the wheelie bins but I digress...)

Anyway, he didn't do that til he turned 11yrs old

Now we can't get him off the bloody thing

MumblingRagDoll · 28/07/2011 23:42

Why would she give the bike away maras

Mammonite · 28/07/2011 23:44

Tried a packet of Smarties ?
DS at 5 was good at scooting and riding with stabilisers but just couldn't add in the pedals, and he does tend to be nervous of the unknown so in this instance we thought it was worth a bit of bribery to get past the "roadblock". Obviously you have to pick your moment.

We went on an outing to a long straight footpath (e.g. old railway, reservoir), and basically walked along in front dispensing a smartie every time DS tried a little ride. Somewhere where there was nothing else to distract like swings. After about a mile or so there and back he had got the idea, was a bit grumpy but he did keep the skill after that and loves zooming around on his bike.

The other thing was it became apparent that his problem was more with starting and stopping than "going" so I had to show him about starting with a foot on the high pedal, giving it a firm push and then keep looking forwards, not down.

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