Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Encouraging DD to learn to ride her bike?

57 replies

Ismeyes · 28/07/2011 21:08

DD has just turned 5. She has a bike, but often does not want to ride it. We have tried to encourage her to learn, but she says she is scared. She can ride and balance on a 2 wheeled scooter no problems.

Today I tried to get her to take the bike to the park to learn to ride without stabilisers and she got very upset and tearful about it. AIBU to keep mentioning it to her, or am I being overbearing? She says she doesn't care if she can't ride a bike and I find it hard to argue that it is an essential life skill.

OP posts:
youarekidding · 28/07/2011 23:48

My DS begged me to take his off, it took 10 minutes, he then refused to try and ride without them and realising he wouldn't spent 10 minutes putting them back on. This went on for weeks until one day I told him to sit on the bike while I put them on to balance it. I pretended to put them on told him to go (I held them by the wheels as he took off) and off he went. Could have backfired if he'd fallen mind. Blush

Sometimes the whole idea of doing something becomes a bigger issue than the doing iyswim? I agree let her scooter. She sounds great and independent.

ivykaty44 · 29/07/2011 11:36

it is about learning something new, trusting parents, learning to help each other overcome problems and plenty more besides. It isn't just about the child learning either - its about the parents learning about how their child learns and operates and how their personality works

bruffin · 29/07/2011 11:44

Both my dcs learnt how to ride bikes from the other children in the street. They were much more receptive to the other children than they would have been to us.

Original poster
Ismeyes · 29/07/2011 21:39

Thanks for all the further replies.
Dogsbestfriend that made me smile.
Ivykate, you make good points.
Worraliberty, you have reminded me exactly what kind of learner dd is- things just suddenly click, I can see her doing something like that!

I wont be giving her bike away, she loves the actual bike, its a special not pink one! Will just take pedals off and go with the floe.

OP posts:
spiderpig8 · 29/07/2011 21:46

It's all about confidence. kids are frightened after they've had a fall or

.Having metal crashing down on your legs hurts!

We have just got DD2 going by removing the pedals on an old crappy bike ( we had to angle grind them off) and starting her free wheeling down a gentle slope.

Dancergirl · 29/07/2011 21:47

I think it IS an essential life skill BUT....your dd is still v young.

If it makes you feel better, dh tried for years, on and off, to get dd to ride unaided. Each time she wouldn't try, dh lost his patience = no progress.

Eventually last year we handed over to the professionals - a bike riding instructor. He got her riding in one 45-min lesson. She was 9 at the time. Don't know what he did with her but it worked. In fact once she got her balance she made huge progress and at the second lesson he started teaching her cycling profiency skills.

Dd2 is a different story. She's 8 and still can't ride despite having lessons with said cycle instructor. She admitted to me that she does want to be able to but is scared of falling off. So we're going to have another go this summer.

Oh and I now know that stabilisers are NOT the way to go. Dd3 is 4 and has a balance bike and she's going to learn that way.

LittleSarah · 29/07/2011 21:50

Oh bells are ringing here!

Dd (7) didn't have a bike here until her birthday this year but she did have one with stabilisers at her dad's. We got her a bike without stabilisers for her birthday and I knew she would freak. She had told me in no uncertain terms she wanted stabilisers but I felt she was ready to ride without. Her dad warned me that it wouldn't be easy without having tried a couple of times.

She really did not want to even attempt to ride without, she was very teary when her sd took her out to learn the first time, nervous, anxious, etc. Anyway, we have a big drying green across the road and he took her on that (to combat the horror of falling on the road) and within half an hour she was riding back and forth. The next day there were more tears (no don't make me evil parents) when we coaxed her onto the road. Again, half an hour, sorted.

She absolutely loves it now. LOVES it. We go out together down these quiet country roads nearby and it is probably the best time we spend together.

Very glad we did it, I know five is younger, but a friend of mine got her daughter's stabilisers off (also five) after seeing my dd and she too learnt v quickly.

It is worth the whining, and you are not mean to encourage her. You can wait but as I say my dd was seven and still scared, I think she just needed to go for it.

Ingles2 · 29/07/2011 21:59

your dd is tiny! just 5, so much time to learn to ride. Back right off or you are going to create an issue imo
my ds2 has learnt to ride his bike this week... it's a major breakthrough and he is absolutely thrilled, but then he is 10, about to go into yr 6 and dyspraxic.
That said, the same applied, the more we have mentioned it over the years, the bigger a problem it seemed to him.

Allinabinbag · 29/07/2011 22:01

My nearly six year old is not yet stable on her bike, she can go a little way without stabilizers (the bike has none) but can't turn. And this is after many many weekends practice. She may well not be ready yet physcially, I would definitely back off from going on and on about it, at some point her confidence and her physical strength will come together. My nearly six year old can't swim either, although she's very confident in the water. Some children just are that tiny bit slower, though I think 6/7 is fine to learn both those things (and I ignore those 4 year old boys screeching around on bikes or swimming like fishes!)

gallicgirl · 29/07/2011 22:19

She's quite tiny still. Think I was a bit older when i rode without stabilisers.

My gran taught me in her garden which had a slight downward slope and a barbed wire fence at the bottom, leading to a ditch and a field full of cows.

She held me on the bike at the top of the garden, gave me a push and told me to learn before I hit the fence and fell into the ditch.

It worked but perhaps not a recommended course of action.

wheresthepimms · 29/07/2011 23:17

Agree with others take the pedals off, when you do put them back on make sure you balance her by holding your hands on her shoulders so she can wobble back and forth between them she will then be off in no time. Know how frustrating it can be though we just went through it with dd4 she could ride fine then a friend jumped out in front of her she fell off into the road and that was it wouldn't even touch her bike for a month until we went back to the wobble between the hands process, she just needed a little comfort again
Good luck :)

EndoplasmicReticulum · 30/07/2011 08:37

I can't ride a bike. My parents just about made me do it when I was about seven, by the method of yelling at me repeatedly while I rode along sobbing and falling off. Yeah, thanks for that.

It's honestly not an essential life skill.

My son is six and a half, will ride his with stabilisers but isn't keen to try without. I am not going to pressure him.

Karstan · 30/07/2011 09:39

It might not be an essential life skill but it's a skill that's far easier to learn as a child than an adult.

I used to work at an outdoor activity centre, one of the activities in the week was BMX and my heart used to go out to the one or two kids (age 10/11) who at the beginning of the session had to say they couldn't ride a bike. Although it did mean that I had the pleasure of teaching them which was fairly satisfying, there was only ever one child I couldn't teach in a 1 hour session.

wheresthepimms · 30/07/2011 10:14

endo just because your parents were mean about it that doesn't mean you don't need to do it. There are nice pleasant ways to teach a child to ride a bike without the shouting and screaming, you should be able to learn a lot from your bad experience and turn it into a good experience for your DS.

op might help you

michglas · 30/07/2011 10:21

Don't make her, let her do the things she loves. DD2 never wanted to ride a bike as she was a bit scared so we didn't even get her one. She's now 10 and 3 months ago she asked for a bike, so we got her one and within a week and a half she was riding it confidently. She now goes on long bike rides with friends and their parents and loves her sense of freedom. I can't imagine knowing i was inflicting upset on my child by making them do something that they really didn't want to.

LIZS · 30/07/2011 10:23

Leave it . dd (9) learnt very quickly a few months back - she then passed her Bikeability Test the next week. ds is 13 and still not very interested

ragged · 30/07/2011 10:27

Taking pedals off leaves cranks in the way, still. You have to remove entire bottom bracket to get a balance bike effect, and that takes specialist tools.

I would say don't push it OP, don't stress her out. 5yo is quite average which means any pushing you do before her 6th birthday is unreasonable expectation.

I suggest you get her a too small bike (12" wheels, no stabs) to learn on, seat right down as low as possible.

youarekidding · 30/07/2011 10:39

ivykate excellent post and excellent points.

I did laugh when I read allinabags comments about 4yo boys riding bikes and swimming like fish. That's the experience I had with DS BUT although great and of course I was proud at this age they are unable to understand about how far a safe distance is to go, avoiding other people, and not swimming out of their depth too far as they'll tire. Also its only this summer (he is 7yo next month) do I actually think it's safe for us to do trips out together with him cycling independently. He has had a trail-gator up to now for safety. Thing is its been hard for him as he hasn't been able to understand why he can't do it when he can ride a bike well. Also DS is actually behind in lots of things such as reading and writing as he is into the more physical stuff.

I think this thread highlights how much being able to do one thing often means it's at an expense of another, and it is important to let children do things in their own time.

mumwithdice · 30/07/2011 11:48

Has anyone mentioned dyspraxia yet? One of the key signs is difficulty learning to ride a bike without stabilisers. I mention it because the earlier dyspraxia is noticed, the easier it is to learn to manage it.

I didn't know I was dyspraxic until I was 27 and it helped me to feel less rubbish about not really being all that good at bike riding. It also made me realise that I may take longer to learn to do coordinated activities than others will. And there's nothing wrong with taking longer to learn something.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 30/07/2011 11:54

I think just leave her alone! She's not going to fail at life just because she can't ride a bike at age 5. Why the pressure? Why the urgency? Just leave her alone otherwise you are going to seriously dent her confidence. After a couple of months maybe just ask if she would like to go on it and if she doesn't don't push it and wait a while longer.

Sorry if this is harsh. Have just seen my SIL and BIL pushing their children to be good and riding bikes and football because that is what they were good at. Almost to the point of obsession. Obviously though our children are their own little people are will have their own strengths.

You say she is good on ther scooter so let her stick to that. My dd also 5 can't even do the scooter thing, she's just not sporty or physical.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 30/07/2011 11:58

mumwithdice I don't think we need to leap to the conclusion of Dyspraxia just because she can't ride a bike at age 5! If she were 12 and physically couldn't do it (rather then scared to or choosing not to) then maybe their might be a balance/coordination issue. This girl though can ride a scooter with no problems so I doubt there is any more of a problem then just being scared or just not being interested in it.

OP She says she doesn't care if she can't ride a bike and I find it hard to argue that it is an essential life skill.

It's not really and essential life skill (although handy and maybe fun and good exercise) and if she doesn't care why push it.

TheDeathlyMarshmallows · 30/07/2011 12:07

I'm with rogersmellyonthetelly too - take the pedals off.

We bought DS a balance bike when he was 2.5. It's a lovely, light wooden thing with no pedals and it was so easy to use, he immediately got it and was happy propelling himself along with his legs. Before long he could lift his feet and glide along and steer round corners. He loved it so much, we left it until he was 4 to buy him a pedal bike. It took him about 3 weeks to get used to the new, higher saddle and suss pedalling and then he was off. You should have seen how impressed his pre-school peers were that he had no stabilisers Grin

We got the balance bike because we read that learning to balance on a bike is much more important than learning to pedal and I really believe this is true. He practiced pedalling on trikes but knowing how to balance on two wheels gave him so much more confidence on his bike and helped him to learn faster.

He's a little speed demon now though and school runs soon became exactly that - runs - as he wanted to take his bike every day and he got rather fast rather quickly.

mumwithdice · 30/07/2011 12:14

Sorry, I didn't mean to be jumping to conclusions. I only meant it might be something to watch for.

I feel passionately about this, because I think it would have made a difference to my life if it had been noticed earlier.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 30/07/2011 16:27

wheresthepimms - I'm not letting the boy off bike riding, he has a bike and we gently encourage a bit of riding. But I will not force him, and I will not see it as a massive failure on his part if he never learns. How could I?

At least I can approach it more gently than my parents, who thought I was being awkward when I failed to coordinate my arms and legs effectively.

Takver · 30/07/2011 16:35

The other thing that you could try is getting a tagalong bike to go on the back of your own bicycle. Then you can go out together, and she can get the hang of pedalling and the 'feel' of being on a bike, without having to worry about steering, balance, braking etc.

It also means that there's less pressure to get her riding properly, as she can come along on bike rides regardless (and of course at an adult speed not a five year old speed Grin ).