To chuffing LOVE that on certain threads people always say stuff like

[Dogsby]

" what starter shall i have" - anti pasto

and any sodding thread on madeleine maccann some sour mouthed tosser puts " ooh no one calls her maddie in hter family" like it really MATTERS fgs.

what predicatable posts make you nuts?

[longjane]

"why should people on housing benefit live where I live"
cos greed feckers like you pushed the prices of houses up so normal people on normal wage cant live there

just does my head in

[Changing2011]

"I have just dismounted my dh's rapidly deflating man bits..... My tits feel sore, should I POAS?"

[ggirl]

haha like the do you like my £12,000 engagement ring ..i'm not sure??

[Al0uiseG]

My "Narc" mil/sil/ex-h/dh. Some people are just twits we don't need amateur psychological dramatics.

[Dogsby]

anyone on twitter should follow @humblebrag for some corkers

"Katherine_Hobbs


Just got told I look like jackie O - and i'm wilting from standing outside an hour! So guess it's the elderly jackie O look :)"

[Pandemoniaa]

You'll be needing that Lundy Bancroft book, you will.

[Dogsby]

"astevens389Alex Stevens

by Humblebrag



I was just told I look like tori amos. Really? I don't quite see it. #random"

[TheCrackFox]

OP: "DS's friend came round for dinner last night and refused to eat the kideny, liver, tripe rissotto I had prepared. Should I ban this child from playing with my son as he is so ridiculously fussy".

"YANBU, I blame the parents - if they didn't puree McDonald's Big Macs for baby food they wouldn't be so fussy in the first place. My darling Lucinda positively craves clam and maggot pasta."

Oh, just go and fuck off.

[OrdinaryJo]

My DS has just asked me about God. Apparently they heard about "him" in assembly. AIBU to complain in writing to the Head and Governers, and the chair of Governers. Who is a Bishop. Because it is a faith school?

[TheBigJessie]

Thread about Asperger's syndrome an unspecified disorder.

"Oh, I think my husband has that. If I speak to him during the sports programmes, he gets really upset!"

[Al0uiseG]

There should be a Mn reading list, can you imagine it:

Lundy Bancroft, all the books.
Woman's aid leaflet, that diagnostic page. (has anyone ever done that and not ticked at least one thing)
The Boden Summer catalogue

[notcitrus]

The disabled parking ones where someone comes and self-righteously says "I'm not disabled so I don't park in them despite having a permanently dislocated hip, one arm, sciatica and back pain" - if you don't need the space, great, but you are disabled, get over it.

And the school ones that go "well if you aren't Christians you shouldn't have sent your child to a church school" - good luck in oversubscribed London where you get allocated on distance and aren't allowed to refuse the offered place on grounds of religion. Yes, Ds will probably have to go to the local CofE school...

[TheBigJessie]

"you really hate men, don't you?"

[purplepidjin]

Arf at

Can't people express their own opinions in a clear and concise way?

[CupcakesandTwunting]

How there is always a syndrome for whatever an OP might be nagging about. Example:

OP - AIBU to think that a three-year old girl shouldn't be wearing high heels walking around town? It can't be good for her feet, for one.

Some twat - How do you know that those high heels are not orthodontic high heels? She might have a BONE SYNDROME which requires her to wear high heels.

OP - Erm, they were plastic, pink and glittery with Barbie on the front...

Some twat - OH SO CHILDREN WITH FEET BONE SYNDROME CANNOT WEAR PRETTY SHOES NOW OP? MN AT IT'S WORST.

Etc etc.

[Changing2011]

My husband went scuba diving/cliff climbing/had major surgery with his mobile phone in his hand. Should I be worried he is cheating?

[Al0uiseG]

"My husband wants to cum on my tits" Well he's obviously been watching porn, no normal man would ever do that, its the pornification of the world.

[flaminglip]

AyeAvast for reminding me of The Four Yorkshiremen. I've been wracking my brains trying to remember what the whole Mumsnet forums remind me of... Perhaps with a bit of Life of Brian thrown in!

[Dogsby]

i hate all teh bumsex shite on here tbh.
thats a propos nothing.
when you are off Mn and come back on and see that it makes you feel pity and shame

[BertyBurlington]

he's not a bully, he has issues/syndromes

[tethersend]

I hate the rhetorical AIBUs...

^AIBU to think war and famine are not very nice?"

Well, clearly, YANBU. Discussion over.

[AbsDuCroissant]

I lurve (though there haven't been any recently) the wedding threads when someone goes "i'm planning on wearing a dress by [insert reasonably priced dress person]"
"Well you obviously don't lurve your DH like I do. I got married in a bin bag accesorised with shells - ours was about the marriage not the the wedding - materialistic hussy"
blah blah blah
"well, my dress was a vera wang made from DIAMONDS"


It's been a while but there's hope! AIBU thread about who to invite to what, and OP mentions that the wedding breakfast costs £50 a head, someone comes in with "well, you obviously have cash to splash about".

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

Some poor poster puts a bit of information in the OP and instead of actually answering her everyone jumps on

'why did you feel the need to mention she was blonde? Do you hate blonde women?'

'Why did you say 'my DS's private school'? Are you just trying to tell us how rich you are?'

But, God forbid you dont give enough information or
'Why didnt you say she was blonde in your OP -AIBU by stealth methinks'

'So now you tell us its a private school - I cant understand why you didnt say that 10 posts ago'

[Changing2011]

"my parents have walked from lands end laden with gifts for our pfb and they are expecting to STAY OVERNIGHT. SELFISH TWATS! I will now be unable to bond with my pfb and they will not see their grandchild until it is starting primary due to their blatant intrusion into our lives."

[TattyDevine]

On any leave-kids-in-the-car-while-you-pay-for-petrol thread

"Oh, I just couldn't, what if a pedo was lurking behind pretending to fill up his VW Golf, I much prefer to wake my sleeping twins, and march them and my 4 year old, 6 year old, 7 year old and 9 year old across the petrol forecourt, doging motorbikes, articulated lorries and cars oh and all the pedos, its much safer"

"What if the car caught on fire due to an electrical fault". Then someone will say "its impossible for a car to simply catch alight when the keys are not in the ignition" and then the sullied person will confirm that yes, indeed, they do know of at least 5 people this has happened to in just the last 2 days therefore it is entirely possible.