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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I WAS unreasonable, and stupid - can I cover it up?

130 replies

CRS · 27/07/2011 20:55

I took out a pyday loan. I KNOW, very stupid, but I felt desperate. This month £315 will come out of my bank account. HOW can I explain this without telling the truth, which is so embarrassing?

OP posts:
Original poster
CRS · 27/07/2011 22:40

Have to give the laptop back to my friend next door now - she is very engaged in an internet dating encounter that I am ruining!! Will probably be allowed to have the laptop back tomorrow, so thank you for advice, and I hope I will be able to get this one sorted. Cx

OP posts:
Inertia · 27/07/2011 22:40

Sorry, xpost with MadamDeathstare !

edam · 27/07/2011 22:42

entitledto.com is the website you need to check whether you can claim any additional benefits, IIRC.

Feel for you, horrid situation, but glad you are getting good advice here. Am appalled at the ruddy school demanding £360 for a netbook though - outrageous! And even more outrageous that they are trying to bully you into stumping up a lump sum by telling porkies about 'instalments are only for people on benefits'.

maighdlin · 27/07/2011 22:57

payday loans may seem horrible but not the end of the world. i'd rather use them than pay bank charges. my advice would be to pay off the loan and get your ass to moneysavingexpert. you will find lots of ways to help tide you over until next pay day without needing another loan. also sell as much as you can. take a few hours and go through what you have, books dvds games clothes you bought but never wore and go on ebay with short listing times or a car boot.

FabbyChic · 27/07/2011 22:57

Write down all your debts and consider an iva.

Namechangerlicious · 27/07/2011 23:07

I'm surprised no one has yet directed you to the Consumer Credit Counselling Service. Brilliant thing on there, click on the Debt Remedy button and you fill in all your details (quite lengthy but worth it) and it gives you really personalised solutions. You can also have an online chat with an advisor. they are a free service and used by the CAB.

Go here straight away debtremedy.cccs.co.uk/start.aspx?WT.svl=cta_dr_2

Good luck

Vicky2011 · 27/07/2011 23:08

Definitely second the advice about doing tutoring to bring extra money in. You could even offer babysitting services or even petsitting too - I know it sounds mad but you just need to earn more for a limited amount of time and these are great ways of getting more money in and getting cash for it where your professional status will make you trustworthy to the general public.
.
It's too late to do marking for the exam boards this summer but get in touch with them for next year - most teachers I know supplement their income by marking both the main exams and the resits

One advantage of you having good jobs is that, although you will get less, if any, help in benefits, you will be a better bet for reputable banks ( i.e. not QQ or Ocean Finance fuckers) in terms of hopefully being able to get more time to pay. I have had problems in the past and found my bank to be brilliant with overdraft extensions - of course you must pay it back but it will be at a normal lending rate.

The other thing you really must do is try not to take all this on yourself, I know you are trying to protect your DP but in reality that will only make it worse.

zipzap · 27/07/2011 23:10

Another vote here for using the www.moneysavingexpert.com website. I managed to almost halve both my car and house insurance following his method as well as pick up lots of other good ways to easily cut expenditure.

One of the most relevant to you though is the suppliers of educational software - there are some companies that supply the big name software packages for students at incredibly good rates. Like 10% of the regular cost. Quick google example - ms office professional plus for £38 instead of £430! And that was just taking the first example, might be others that are even better. So find out exactly what software they need, might be that the school are using one of these companies but adding their own markup to make some money too.

marriedinwhite · 28/07/2011 00:16

Go into school - they will understand about the netbook and accept instalments. A lot goes on behind the scenes that you won't know about and that they don't advertise. At the moment you haven't got money but you can offer help in different ways - notes at PTA - clearer upper after events - things that will allow you to hold your head up high and actually no one will care you're a bit skint at present - you sound too nice. Can you get hold of 2nd hand PE Kit?

Don't beat yourself up too much over this - you won't do it again and it got you out of a fix. Going on the game's a bit daft but could you take in a bit of ironing or advertise to feed cats/dogs when owners are on hols - I have to pay 10.00 a day for the cats and have to book the lady three months in advance - although we are in London. Have you got a mum who could help you out of this spot?

Signet2012 · 28/07/2011 00:21

These make me so angry! I have just paid off 450 pound for my brother who was in the same position and it got out of hand so quickly!

Im the person he trusted to tell, and although I was furious as I had warned him about this kind of thing, I could see he was worried sick.

Id like to get them all closed down for being horrible greedy bastards who pray on people like yourself OP who are desperately trying to survive and they kick you when your down. Horrible people.

Im sure your husband will understand, and you have learnt your lesson. At least its sorted and they didnt get any more out of you!

Youre not the only person to fall for this quick fix but MY GOD you pay for it scenario so dont beat yourself up too much :)

Original poster
CRS · 28/07/2011 11:10

Thank you for replies - I have no idea how I am going to tell my partner about this fuck up - we are really tight this month already for various reasons. He will (quite rightly!) go mad. Still, at least I am free of the bastards - if I had deferred the payment I would have had to pay £59 and STILL owed all the rest the following month.

Am going to try and get some tutoring/other paid work over the holidays - there is a music school in the village too who want qualified teachers on Saturdays apparently, so will check that out too.

Will try and contact the school re: the netbook situation, and can maybe get my mum to help with the PE kit.

Sigh. WHY did I get myself into this ridiculous mess? Blush

OP posts:
honeyandsalt · 28/07/2011 11:29

It's easy done CRS, and at least you both have decent money coming in so you're in a better situation than loads of people, so long as you get a real handle on things now.

Maybe go through this thread and make a note of suggestions you think can work for you? If you haven't ebayed your baby stuff yet, now sounds like a good time :D

GeekCool · 28/07/2011 11:34

CRS do you live somewhere that has a credit union? Normally I would never suggest a loan to cover debt BUT CU's are a much better option than a payday loan, believe me.

Original poster
CRS · 28/07/2011 11:38

I don't know what a credit union is! Blush

OP posts:
GetOffOfMyCloud · 28/07/2011 11:47

Don't beat yourself up CRS, it is so easily done. To repeat others though you need to tell your DP and sooner rather than later. He might be upset, but (i suspect) he will be more upset and angry in the long run if he thinks you have lied to or deceived him.

Like someone else said, sometimes your employer can offer short term loans if you find yourself stuck again, they just take it our of your next payroll, be careful with this though as if you borrow over a certain amount it can affect your tax as it considered a taxable benefit (because you don't have to pay interest). I think it has to be thousands to be a problem though.

Hope things settle down for you soon.

Original poster
CRS · 28/07/2011 12:32

Thanks - not sure about advance from employer (public sector) - I think probably unlikely, but will try to find out.

WHY I thought that doing this was something that a sane person would even consider is beyond me. I mean I KNEW it was stupid at the time, but couldn't see past the short term fix at that time.

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Original poster
CRS · 28/07/2011 16:17

OK sorry if this is boring but just a quick update - I now have two confirmed private pupils for 2 hours a week each for the 5 weeks of the holiday starting next week at 25 pounds an hour (which sounded steep to me, but am assured it is the going rate). So I feel better placed to confess to my partner, as will have made the money back in a few weeks. Thanks for advice from all, and def lesson learnt.

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CupcakesandTwunting · 28/07/2011 16:18

Pleased for you. Well done on taking positive action. :)

Original poster
CRS · 28/07/2011 16:27

Thanks - I'm going to enquire at the music school on Saturday too, to see if I can get a bit of an extra regular income too - they run throughout the year, not just holidays. Now to face the confession this evening! Sad

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GetOffOfMyCloud · 28/07/2011 16:42

Good luck, hope it goes well for you.

KAZAMM · 28/07/2011 16:42

you'll be fine! You're trying to fix things and as you say,lesson learned.

KAZAMM · 28/07/2011 16:45

you'll be fine! You're trying to fix things and as you say,lesson learned.

aliceliddell · 28/07/2011 16:52

yy to all the organisations recommended, especially credit unions. I have been in this situation when younger (alcoholic mother) and can remember how bad it makes you feel. Get yourself some good advice and a plan - what you've done is a bit Blush but not disaster. Tell dp, these secrets make it 10x worse.

Original poster
CRS · 28/07/2011 16:56

I still don't know what a credit union is! Thanks for not totally looking down on me folks. Cx

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worzelswife · 28/07/2011 17:04

It's sad you've been beating yourself up so much. Lots of people have debt and as long as you're taking proactive steps to deal with it there's nothing to be ashamed of. It must all be very worrying for you.

These companies are evil, how they get away with it I don't know. Lots of people have been stung by them, you just have to not do it again. And be gentle on yourself.

I think the school is very cheeky to ask that you buy a netbook. There must be lots of parents who struggle to afford them.