I WAS unreasonable, and stupid - can I cover it up?

[CRS]

I took out a pyday loan. I KNOW, very stupid, but I felt desperate. This month £315 will come out of my bank account. HOW can I explain this without telling the truth, which is so embarrassing?

I would check you are getting any benefits you may be entitled to, also unless it a private school I'm sure they cannot demand that you buy certain things for your child tbh

Couldnt you put off PE kit and netbook, you will have another pay day before they have to go back to school?

I owe 2 friends £10 and £15 pounds, and I don't know how I'm going to pay them back either. The whole thing seems unsurmountable.

Seriously you have to buy a netbook? Is that common? (Ds's are 4 and 2 so no high school yet)

I have had a loan from quick quid before when XH moved out and the tax credits immediately stopped so I had absolutely nothing, they are shit but the best thing you can do is pay it off straight away.

What is with the netbook?

I have 2 children who are/or were at secondary school. Year 10 and one who has just left and i have never been asked to buy a netbook.

i think 360 is expensive for a netbook any way, tell them you will buy your own x

Thanks for all advice. I have borrowed my next door neighbour's computer, so if I go quiet that's why, not because I've run away! I wish to God I'd never taken out this stupid loan and will NEVER do it again. Life seems so tricky at the moment. I couldn't believe the "That will be interest free" response from the quick quid chat person, but I guess you have to laugh or you'd cry.

The school say it's installment only for people on benefits so that every Tom, Dick and Harry don't ask to pay it in installments. They will let you do it if they know you are struggling. My friend's school lets her pay off trips/uniform etc in installments even though she is not in receipt of benefits because she has had a frank conversation with the head of year who knows she struggles. You need to have this conversation.

You need to stop hiding your financial problems from your partner as they are his problems too. You can't be shouldering all of the worry for this.

Why is the P.E kit £51? I'm not doubting you, I'm just fucking astonished. We are comfortably off but £51 would seem ludicrous to me. Do they not have second-hand uniform sales at the school? If not, you need to set up a payment plan so that you can pay in installments. The school can't have money that you haven't got and they aren't going to force your son to sit out of P.E/lessons because that would be a bit Dickensian. You need to face up to your problems by talking to your partner and the school.

Oh - re netbook you can buy your own, but then have to pay on top for the school's software that the kids need which is £100.

OP - Do you have a Citizens Advice Bureau near you? They often have money advisers who can help you sort out your finances.

The fact you are not already on direct debit for electricity makes me think there might be other areas that can help you budget.

Don't be afraid of approaching the school - you ARE on a low income.

It's always better to approach the person you owe the bill (electricity, mortgage etc) than a money lender. It's in their (electricity board etc.) interests to come up with some kind of repayments scheme. Even if they took you to Court for non payment (not recommending this!) the Court would probably come up with a sensible repayment plan.

Stay away from these money lending crooks - bloody parasites!!

Thank you all for advice - I am going to try and pluck up some courage to talk to my partner and the secondary school - I know I'm pathetic, but it isn't easy.

Ds's secondary school are very understanding and are usually very flexible with extending deadlines for installments if thats any help.

£100 for software? Are they having a fucking laugh? Is this a comp' or a grammar?

"I owe 2 friends £10 and £15 pounds, and I don't know how I'm going to pay them back either. The whole thing seems unsurmountable."

Right. You need to make a list prioritising your debt. No, you won't want to do it because it will make you cry when you see your debts written down. However, it is the only way of getting it clear in your head what needs to go where. Are your friends desperate for the cash you owe them? Could you very nicely ask if they could wait? I know I wouldn't have my mate's name up in the window for £15 if she was struggling.

Talk to your partner. Make a list. Do a budget. See if you can cut back elsewhere. Honestly, I saved £22 on my food bill by stepping down a brand when shopping i.e instead of Napolina tinned tomatoes, buy Sainsbury's own etc etc. If you could do similar, that would be a chunk off uniform/friend debts/whatever.

Thank you. I'm going to have a really honest think, and list my immediate debts, and talk to partner. Money problems really can make things hard though. We are almost scared to talk to each other at the moment.

We (DH and I) bicker over money non-stop, without even realising it. It IS one of the hardest things to discuss but it needs to be spoken about. It takes a weight off when you do, honestly.

OP have you ever used the MSE website? Their forums are really helpful, esp the debt free one and the old style one. If you post a full statement of affairs on there they are really helpful (in a no nonsense way similar to MN).

It's awful lurching one month to the next worrying about paying for everything, you do need to share the burden with your partner and I agree with others that if you talk to the school they should be discreet and understanding. Hope you get things sorted.

Thank you again for responses. If I'm going to be honest, I feel like getting paid on Friday and using the £90 that will be left after the bills are paid and this awful debt on a train ticket to run away.

I agree with the poster above: if debts and money are a real worry, try the moneysavingexpert forums. There are loads of people in your situation there, scraping by from month to month while clearing off debts, and they have a lot of advice and support to give. In my experience they are very good at helping people on the right track towards sorting out their finances and moving from panic mode (which it sounds like you and your partner are in a little) to having a plan and feeling confident about managing their money, no matter how little there is of it.

Be honest with your partner, but also set up a plan together to sort yourself out because worrying about money really can be devastating.

Oh cripes you poor chicken.

Suggestions:

-phone the bank, see what the maximum overdraft is you can get, use it as backup only
-put everything you can onto a monthy direct debit
-shop at Lidl/Aldi/Tesco value. Try and make several meals a week bean/pulse based - cheap and healthy. Use paprika and herbs to make 'em interesting.
-apply for housing benefit/council tax rebate. There's an online calculator somewhere (google it) which will let you know if you're entitled to any pennies.
-make sure you're getting the right child tax credits (ie you've given them the right info)
-follow the excellent advice already given on this thread - talk to your DH/friends/the school. Financial worries are a bit like monsters under the bed - terribly scary when you can glimpse them out of the corner of your eye, but they melt away when you face 'em like the hard nut you are ;)

The costs from you children's school are truly shocking, not to mention ridiculous. A netbook for eleven-year-olds! £51 for gym kit!

A big hug to you OP, money worries are horrible :(

CRS you've had some great advice on this thread especially from Cupcakes.

There's no shame in admitting you need help with debt. It's hard to make that list and see it in black and white but then you'll start to get control over your finances. The best thing i ever did was go to CAB. They help people like you every day and dont judge. Just bear in mind that they are really busy with debt advice and it took me 6 weeks to an appointment with a money advisor. That was 2 years ago though and it may be quicker depending on where you live.

We are not on a low income, but we are covered with debts. We had our son when I was 22 and had just graduated and my partner was 20 and still at uni. We have both retrained and done PGCE and are teachers. But we did this when our son was 3 1/2 - three and a half years of debt we are paying off. Plus the idiocy of loans we took out for prams and things when our son was tiny. So entitled to nothing in terms of help, in receipt of good salries, but broke. Our fault, but what do you do?

Thanks again for all advice by the way, I AM grateful - it feels quite good just to admit the problem, even if not in real life yet.

CRS- another one here who is gobsmacked at the compulsory netbook. Can you contact the school and explain that, installments or otherwise, you cannot afford to buy a netbook, and ask whether there is a loan system, or whether school leavers sell on to new students? Again, PE kit- is there a second-hand system running? I think debts to the school will be easiest to negotiate- just be upfront with them.

Can you renegotiate any of your loan payments (with reputable providers eg banks) to a smaller amount over a longer term? You'll pay more in the long run but will get round the immediate stumbling block.

If you teach, can you take on any paid duties eg lunch duties?